To ask if perimenopause is making me hate my husbanc

[Everythingnotsavedwillbelost]

kind of light hearted but not

I am 46 and I can barely stand to be in the same room as him. Everything he does irritates the total fuck out of me and I never want to have sex with him again 😬

I have noticed he makes this weird clicking noise when he speaks and it makes me want to throw things 😬

We’ve been together 20 years but if this is perimenopause, I don’t think i can stand it as everything he does annoys me 🙈

Aibu? I feel a bit unhinged

Thank god I have found this thread! (In-between looking longingly at 1 bed flats on Rightmove)

My DH also does the huffing & puffing thing, mainly when driving, and has to have tv/radio on constantly. Even if I'm sat quietly reading he'll come in, turn the tv on, flick through the guide muttering under his breath then ask me "What do you want to watch, then?" Erm, NOTHING I'M READING!!

The absolute worst thing though is wanting to spend SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER for no reason! He works mon-fri, I work weds-sat so we spend Sundays and evenings together. Yesterday he randomly took the day off and suggested he uses up his leave taking more Mondays and Tuesdays off .... NOOOOO that's my me-time and the only peace and quiet I get.

Aaand breathe. Rant over!

Well.
Are you all with men that are a similar age?
Have you ever stopped to think, it could be them?
Like, they have actually turned repulsive?!

I know 2 women who have left their husbands for women when they hit 50.

I think a lot of stuff gets supressed and women put up with a lot just so they can be married and have children when they are in their 20's because thats whats expected of them, then 30 years later, when they have the marriage and the childrearing is done they realise what they've done! OTOH, I have a friend in her 50's who never married. I was moaning to her about my desire for a bit of peace and quiet and she was moaning to me about how worried she was about growing old alone and not having anyone to help her with decision making or stuff around the house.

Excellent. I have found my tribe. I thought it was just me (aged 50) who had regular murderous fantasies about my DH.

Have you ever stopped to think, it could be them?
Like, they have actually turned repulsive?!

Have you ever stopped to think they feel exactly the same way about you?

PanGakactic, well yeah, but they can discuss that on dadsnet (or pistonheads or reddit or wherever)

We don't care Pan. RTFT

Thank God I've found this thread, it's made me realise I'm not going mad. Finding DH so so annoying, I'm having to limit time together. I know it's peri menopause but it seems to have coincided with him becoming a right grumpy old bastard.
I fantasise about screaming at him & getting everything off my chest in a terrible argument one minute, the next I'm fine & so glad I didn't say anything.
Sex isn't happening very often & I know he's missing it & that just makes me cringe. It's a bloody vicious circle, I need to take some supplements or something!

Hey Pan I haven’t got one so what are you talking about?
I had to get rid after he started turning in to his father around the 46 mark.

But see.
I wasn’t 46.
So I wondered if it could be the mens age rather than just blaming the women. That’s all.

Men definitely get stuck in a rut somewhere in their 40s. They really do.
I'm out of the young kids bubble now, I'm conscious of time ticking by and I want to DO things. I want to LIVE! He just wants to sit on the sofa or, if pushed, in the pub.

And yes Pan, he probably hates my guts but since he doesn't say much doubtless I won't find out until he fecks off with a 25 year old.

I think men care less about relationships. So we want more and to be happy. They’ll just tick along nicely as long as we’re not giving them too much grief.

Aren’t most divorces initiated by women?

Jog22

Stinky head . .I'm crying

I'm a mere stripping here at 41 3/4,but I can feel the rage rising in myself and similar aged friends. As a wise woman said in a pp, it's not necessarily us, the men could be bloody awful, which he is in my case. He's a miserable, emotionally abusive dick wad and I wish him dead. I will leave him in due course and it will be bloody brilliant.

My issue is I've already left one husband (when I was 40), vowed never to marry again and then met the perfect man (OK no one's perfect obvs but he comes pretty damn close and is the most selfless person I've ever met) and now some of the things he does (which I quite happily ignored pre meno) give me the absolute rage!! Haha we've only been married 18 months bless him, I almost feel sorry for him!

What really pisses me of about my DH (I'm 48, no period for 5 years!) is that ever single thing he doesnt agree with me on he blames on my "menopausal moods". Which obviously I disagree with!

Oh man. DP pointed me in this direction and he is sooo right. Actually, he's not bad at all. He's being rather wonderful about the whole thing.

I'm not though. I had HRT patches for 6 months before the GP took me off them as they gave me migraines. I've been HRT-free for seven days and I am an absolute mess. Hot and cold flashes have returned. Emotional incontinence has returned. The rage has returned. It's all come back with an absolute vengeance.

I'm 41. It's been brewing for two years now. I'm hoping that I'm "average" and the perimenopause lasts four years for me and no longer 😩

I take starflower oil. It keeps DH alive.
Why oh why does he have to tap everything he's holding? Pen tapping, mug tapping, pen on mug...

Pahhaaa it keeps DH alive wanderingmind.

"Peri-menopause can make you hate puppies.*

Say it ain't so!

God it's brutal isn't it. I'm just a seething ball of rage. I take starflower, evening primrose, menopace and a heap of other supplements, still raging. I mentioned on the male curfew thread that I'd been verbally abused twice in the last month by white van men. I didn't mention that I gave as good as much worse than I got. 'you shut the fuck up you fucking little dick' I think my exact words were . Really don't think he expected that from a middle aged woman, his face was a picture . Cycle is now 2 weekly, yep bleed for 5 days, fine for maybe 4/5 days then bam, PMS central and insomnia for 5 days and round and round I go. It's just as well I'm single.

I sailed through the menopause feeling no murderous rage at all. I was single though. Correlation?

If you take HRT does your period come back @Myimaginarycathasfleas.
I have a coil in but have a apt with gp on thur was going to ask to get HRT before I loose the plot.

@mcmen05 it depends which type you take. The one I'm on stops your periods entirely. Have had nothing for nearly a year.