To ask if perimenopause is making me hate my husbanc

[Everythingnotsavedwillbelost]

kind of light hearted but not

I am 46 and I can barely stand to be in the same room as him. Everything he does irritates the total fuck out of me and I never want to have sex with him again 😬

I have noticed he makes this weird clicking noise when he speaks and it makes me want to throw things 😬

We’ve been together 20 years but if this is perimenopause, I don’t think i can stand it as everything he does annoys me 🙈

Aibu? I feel a bit unhinged

I must say this thread is a heartening read.

I'm 47 and definitely peri. My inner rage intensifies by the day.

I am unreasonable and I knows it. Last night, all my OH was doing was walking around our bedroom which is above the lounge. He said he was off to bed. Great, I thought, a moment to myself. But he then spent about 20 mins padding around the bedroom. From one side to the other, back again, to the ensuite, back out, back in and so on and so forth. Basically just moving but I could hear every step. Nothing really wrong with that I suppose..... Readers, it enraged me beyond belief. "Just shut up and get in the bed and stop moving" I screamed and screamed in my head.

Good job firearms are hard to get hold of in this country. I would have just sat on the sofa and fired up through the ceiling. No hesitation. I wouldn't even have got up. Just remained seated, fired and carried on watching TV.

I wonder if the menopause has ever been used as a successful line of defence in a court of law, though?

For those of you who are getting fobbed off by doctors and struggling to get HRT, don't give up. To the lady who was told she couldn't have it because she wasn't having hot flushes, just bloody tell them you are having hot flushes!

I'm a year into HRT and a month ago I would've said it's barely made any difference but I upped my dose and honestly I feel like a new woman. Back to my old self. It really does make a difference - don't continue to suffer.

Same here OP. I'm 50 and my DH is 57. I really, really don't want sex anymore. We still cuddle and kiss. But it all seems such a faf to do the whole thing.

My inner rage has been terrible today. Realise I drive along having a furious commentary on other drivers, whilst fuming over dh.

I did have a little smile, however, when I saw a number plate which would probably suit me right now. Just to let a little of the fury out - GR11 RRR.

I am considering going back to GP’s and saying I have hot flushes now. At the time I was being honest and believed what the gp said. After reading this I think HRT is probably s much better option than Ad’s. Am glad I read this. There is a similar thread on the menopause section on here.

Bless you all.

I am 45 and have the rage. I quit a job a few weeks ago when I was seeing red.

I am exercising every day, have quit alcohol and trying mindfullness: "look at me hating everyone"

My sex drive is zero. DH (who is a lovely man) looks terrified all the time.

My sex drive is pretty high, but in a sort of "fuck or kill" way.
Conversely husband hasn't wanted any for ages. I demanded to know asked why and he said he's never sure if it's safe to approach. Bastard.

I went to a doctor at my local surgery this spring because I was incredibly stressed (husband in a coma - does remind you that you do actually love him and don't want to lose him!) and I mentioned that I was getting irrationally angry about things and blowing up easily. She actually laughed at me as though I was weird (she was about 30). She signed me off work and told me to just take evening primrose if I thought I was peri (I'm 50, so you'd think I was, even if I'm still fairly regular in my cycles the actual length and flow has dramatically changed in the last two years or so). I should have shown her how irrationally angry I get when she laughed (although it wouldn't have been irrational, would it?).

Has anyones tolerance to music lessened? I live with a so-called DJ. It's fucking dance music always. I can still hear it a room and two shut doors away. I think he actually thinks I'm being petty by saying I don't want to hear it. He wants us to enjoy it together. ITS GOING THROUGH ME. MY BACK AND SHOULDERS ARE TENSED UP. I fucking hate it. Sorry everyone.

Yes, I cannot bear music when I haven't instigated it. Every morning my fucking H has radio 2 BLARING in the kitchen. I actually cannot go in there with it on. The inane wittering on that show. I I need silence and calm, but apparently that can never happen. God, marriage is so overrated. I wish I could live alone. Living with other people is exhausting.

Hepzibah Fuck or Kill !! Me and him are both happily enjoying a more active sex life but the rest of the time I’m either angry or sad. I’m 47. After reading this thread perhaps I should just tell the gp I’ve night sweats and go with the HRT?

I'm 47. My DH bashes his cutlery against his teeth when he eats and slurps water from the tap when brushing his teeth. I've been with him for thirty years but suddenly he's not normal in so many ways!

But what happens when you come off HRT? Surely you just get the same symptoms but further down the road?
My DH thinks I’ve been peri for the last 10 years!

Hrt made my friend worse, she turned into an emotional wreck rather than just raging and wanting to kill people. I think her husband prefers the angry to the tears.

Sorry about your husband @Honeyroar - how is he doing?

This thread has made me LOL while DH snores beside me. I do want to kill him about once a day, tho generally I think he's alright.

I have ordered some of those Fema45 pills too.

@legomadx2 Thankyou, he's good now. I'm back to wanting to murder him every now and again!

Oh good! So glad to hear. My heart went out to you when I read that @Honeyroar

Firing through the ceiling made me snigger so much TheGrump . I'm 47, suffering biblical flooding every 23 days and feel so achy, tetchy, fatigued and FUCKED OFF!

Dh is a good man who finds himself caught up in a maelstrom of perimenopausal wife and three teenage daughters. He smokes rolls ups (probably in an effort to preserve his sanity) and smells like a tramp's armpit when he comes in after having one. I'm this > < close to screeching that he fucking stinks and to take his smelly arse back out in the garden before I puke.

Dance Music?! That's reasonable grounds right there. I'm through menopause and out the other side at 58. Somehow did it without HRT. I'm so much less teary and emotional but can still tap into the low lying anger.

I was going to regale you with my own raging symptoms, but having reached the end of the thread, I've completely forgotten what they are.

I will say, though, that if DH disappears and I ever have to live with another adult human, it'll have to be a woman next time around. Soooo much less annoying than men.

Reading this thread has been cathartic!
I'm 43 and my PMS rage / emotional mess was getting worse and worse. I started taking anti-depressants which have helped.
When DH has that scared look in his eyes I know it's time to up the dose in the run up to my period! Until relatively recently I was regular as clockwork and now its anywhere between a 17 day and 40 day cycle so I'm never quite sure when my madness will descend! Wonder if HRT would be better?
Anyone have experience of moving from anti-depressants to HRT?

Anyone else get up stupidly early because you wake up and just can't get back off? I think part of the reason is that I want to be up before DH wakes up and goes for a snog with his morning breath. Bleaugh.

I got out of bed at 6:30 this morning and that's not unusual lately. I would never have missed a lie in before but now I'm 47 I never want one.

Yep. Even when I’m knackered I still wake up 4/5 am and struggle to get back to sleep. I’ll normally finally drift off about 10 minutes before my alarm goes off and then feel dreadful. Should probably just get up instead and ridiculous o’clock.

It used to be the norm to have two sleeps not one continual one. Something to consider if you've insomnia. It did help me slightly, I'd feel less anxious about being unable to get back to sleep. I'd go downstairs, have a cuppa and read.
www.google.com/amp/s/www.sciencealert.com/humans-used-to-sleep-in-two-shifts-maybe-we-should-again/amp

Yes I wake up most nights and spend an hour or two awake.
I now enjoy taking advantage of catching up on something on tv or reading in complete silence alone downstairs.
Laying in bed awake drives me mad so I have to get up.