Women were asked what they would do if men had to be in by 9

[Pieceofpurplesky]

AIBU that the answers to this make me really sad

www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/10/01/women-imagine-life-men-9pm-curfew-eye-opener/2/

www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/10/01/women-imagine-life-men-9pm-curfew-eye-opener/2/

Sorry if this has been done

I notice that Danielle seems to have appropriated Danielle's contribution from a book about the experiences of women of colour.

I like the idea of ALL born males having a 9pm curfew though.

I have to assume then that you married a tosser and if you have sons you are bringing them up to be tossers too. If not then how do you 'like' this idea?

As ridiculous as a man curfew sound, it wouldn't make any difference anyway, some women can be just as vicious and dangerous.

Sure. Can’t read the news without seeing yet another story of a woman attacking a woman, such a regular occurrence. Oh hang on, no it isn’t.

It happens, but not with the monotonous and alarming regularity that men attacking women happens.

When someone is walking behind me on a dark night, I am not in the least bit afraid if it is a woman, but will always quicken my step and feel my heart racing if it is a guy. Because whether you want to accept it or not, he presents more of a risk than she does, statistically.

To be fair Danielle did attribute the quote. Still feels to me like Danielle is appropriating women's lives.

We need men to find male violence unacceptable and at the moment they just don't.

This.

In my experience even the decent men will say that they dislike violence, that real men don't hit/rape/intimidate/harrass women, and so on. But then will say things like "she was messing him about, of course he got pissed off" and "a girl [woman] in the office had a low cut top on, I didn't know where to look" and they'll tell their daughters not to go out dressed like that, don't flirt about and give men the wrong idea, if a man hits you and you stay then its your own fault.

Pancake yes, it was mentioned upthread.

I don't even think it is necessary just the violence though. It's the comments, the verbal abuse, the come ons, the general uncomfortable feeling when you are a woman alone in a predominantly male environment with males you do not know.

Even stood at a bar waiting to be served can be horrible and somewhat intimidating. Again not always but there are certain men that seem to get a power kick out of it.

The problem is the human race as a whole not men against women.

Are you not aware of the statistics of male violence against women/other men?
Men ARE the problem.

This is far too simplistic, though, and is going on the presumed guilty until proven innocent, or even never allowed to be proven innocent.

Saying that most - almost 100% of - violence and threatening behaviour is caused by the actions of men is correct.

Extrapolating that to saying that all men (which is the premise of this hypothetical question, as being genetically male is the only deciding factor in depriving people wholesale of their liberty) are the problem is just a syllogism and very flawed logic indeed.

I fully agree that a lot of the men who wouldn't dream of doing this are also ignorant that a lot of men do do it, so publicising this issue and making men understand the everyday realities of many women's lives would be a very good thing indeed.

However....the majority of online scams are masterminded and run by people based in (and presumably native to) parts of Africa and Asia. Would anybody for a moment suggest that we should restrict worldwide internet use to white people only in order that, by denying ALL black and Asian people a basic modern human right, we could severely cut down on people's risks of being scammed, so that justifies it? Nobody would be that ridiculous (or discriminatory). Or would many in fact agree with such a preposterous suggestion, whilst conceding grudgingly with a huge sigh that "Yes, I know, NAB&APALT.... but........." ?

Danielle is indeed an extremely sinister person, though.

The question was what can / should women be doing so I answered that. Yes it would be helpful if men as well as women did but that wasn't the question asked . And women most certainly should not just expect men to sort it out because women and men together make society, women do raise boys and girls, and a victim mentality never changed anything

We need men to find male violence unacceptable and at the moment they just don't.

Thats just bullshit, most men understand violence, what we don't need to do is make it a male v female issue. It becomes problematic when you start getting into statistics because it verges on alt-right territory, and when we get into statistics of male/female violence can verge into the vile incel rhetoric of 'pussy pass'

This escalation of some bullshit culture war needs to be addressed instead of saying shitty statements that men don't understand violence.

The trouble is, the kind of man who will rape and murder isn’t really the kind of man who obeys curfews. I suppose it might make things more difficult for them, but they’d still be predators.

Could we limit the idea to just working class men?

Also factor in how many women are attacked or murdered in their own homes by their partners.

Having a curfew wouldn’t stop that.

I wouldn't do anything differently but that is because I like being snuggled up at home by 9pm, especially during the darker months. Dp is always here with me at night so it wouldn't impact him either.

Yanbu to be shocked by the links OP

On a tangentially related issue I’m always startled by the difference between the level of precautions that straight women and gay men feel the need to take when meeting up with a stranger via online dating. I very much doubt that there’s a significant difference in the level of danger but the approach taken is very different.

Could we limit the idea to just working class men?

Could you give some more reasoning/expand the question. Sorry I can't tell if this is serious or goady!

@hasanyoneseenmykeys

Ask anyone who had done time in a women's jail if a female world is so much fun.

There's actually a huge body of evidence that women's prisons are far safer, and more pleasant and less hostile, than men's prisons. The prison reform charities have a ton of research on this.

And if men's prisons were as safe as women's prisons, and women's prisons as safe as men's... why is it that it's absolutely ruled out for any transman to be moved into a male prison, while the concern with transwomen is whether they pose a risk to the women, instead?

People's denial of male patterned violence, as a proven and absolute fact, is really weird. It's well into Flat Earth territory.

Those in the lower socio-ecomonic groups are statistically more likely to commit crime. Would it make more sense to target the idea to the group that commits the most crime?

Would it make more sense to target the idea to the group that commits the most crime?

Yes, men.

I think the point is being missed a little by some. It's not really suggesting a curfew for men. That's silly, unfair and would never work. It's also not about the person who asked the question.
It's more of a look at how women feel and how their experiences are different to most men. How we take certain routes, how we get scared walking alone if a man happens to be walking behind us on a deserted street, how keys in our fists is a normal thing. Yes there are a lot of us who don't get scared or haven't faced attacks whether physical or verbal by unknown males but it doesn't mean it's not really, really common.

The question is just for us to think what life would be like if that stuff wasn't an issue. Violence in the home is one thing but being scared of strangers is something a lot of men don't really think about or even believe.

Working class men

Would it make more sense to target the idea to the group that commits the most crime?

Given that men commit 100% of all rapes.....

Working class men

Do you honestly think that, or is it just the the middle class men are less likely to be found guilty?

We're talking about violent stranger crime on the streets after dark.

The vast majority will not be solicitors and accountants.

The problem we're talking about is with working class men.

It’s men who are most at risk of being attacked at night though. By other men.

I fear for my DS more than I ever did for myself.