Women were asked what they would do if men had to be in by 9

[Pieceofpurplesky]

AIBU that the answers to this make me really sad

www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/10/01/women-imagine-life-men-9pm-curfew-eye-opener/2/

www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/10/01/women-imagine-life-men-9pm-curfew-eye-opener/2/

Sorry if this has been done

polly

I agree

@RufusthebewiIderedreindeer ha ha yes safer out of our houses!

long

@Changestartsnow ONS and police / government statistics, however you have to sometimes wade through it. Makes for sad reading too. I’ll try and find a good link.

I would sleep better when my daughters were out at night.

I suppose that the bad men would take this as an opportunity to do more of their weird stuff.

I don't know how to fix the bad men, I just wish that they weren't regarded as a common fact of life.

Thanks longlongsummer

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/thenatureofviolentcrimeinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2018

It’s a bit wordy though. A quote from above:
Men were more likely to be victims of violent crime where the perpetrator was a stranger or acquaintance. However, women were more likely to be victims of domestic violence perpetrated by a partner or ex-partner, or other family member.

Exactly what tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz said - women have to actively plan so that they feel safe. I would add that this can also be the case in daylight.

I am of the opinion that the way a man is shaped starts with his mother, carer, family. If the formative years have not been nurturing and the child has not learned what is right and wrong and how to be kind to others (not just women), then it’s already too late as the education system can only do so much.
Society has to support families so that children get the right guidance right from the start. Worldwide.
It’s never going to happen.

Will give it a read over tomorrow. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

I just feel very sorry for society as a whole. Women being abused at home.
Men killing themselves.
We have fucked it up massively and we have to change as a whole.

It says number of violent incidents from a stranger for year end March 2018 was
Towards men 438 (81%)
Towards women 104 (19%)

@Changestartsnow agree I absolutely abhor violence and assault. Hate it. Wish we could totally eradicate it. To the point where I feel sick just reading about it.

My son has been attacked already by a stranger and he’s not even 18 yet. I’ve been attacked too but got away. We all know someone. Wish we could stop it! Yet we have all got to live our lives and unfortunately I don’t really think we can pin down ‘perpetrators’ and give them a curfew, and especially no blanket all men as attackers and lock them in. It’s pretty unethical and not right. All men are not rapists and it’s important we don’t tar all men like this.

I do think this suggestion feeds into the idea that the greatest danger to women is random men on the street (therefore women should not go out) when the truth is that men in the home are a greater danger.
I have always been fond of going out at night, coming home from clubs etc by myself, refusing to be scared. Had very little trouble in over 30 years (the worst things being muggers and that was only a couple of times). Some people seem to be a bit over-invested in the idea that the outside world is too dangerous a place for women - and those people rarely have women's best interests at heart.

@reanimated agree. I’m currently living in quite a, shall we say, country local area. It’s very marked that women even going for a walk on their own are seen as odd and putting themselves at risk. When there is quite a high rate of domestic violence here. It’s like good women stay at home. Bad women go out.

If all victims were only ever women, then this thread would have a point. However this is not the case. Men are victims too.

The victimhood of men has nothing to do with what the thread is about.

The question was hypothetical and asked how women would feel if men had a 9pm curfew.

It wasn't asking how men would feel, or whether men are just as much victims as women. Men didn't come into the question.

It was a question about women and their feelings.

Are they actually afraid that other men will kill them though Moonmelodies?

I was talking to someone male the other day about women in senior positions who said that men learn about confrontation early in life because they learn that someone could hit them or they could hit someone and it addresses the pecking order early on. This is a very simplistic and shortened summary, but he went on to say that women don't have that because their socialisation is more about "being nice". I'm not saying he was right but it was an interesting perspective.

@pigsDOfly it’s totally relevant! And I as a woman feel that a thread asking what we women feel if all men had a curfew is:

• promoting the false idea that most assaults on women are from strangers outside. They are not. They are on men. So no we should not suddenly feel safer if there was a curfew.
• promoting the false idea that it is women who are most often the victims of stranger night time attacks. They are not.

So I would feel that we had messed up our facts if there was a curfew and I would not feel safer.

I have to assume then that you married a tosser and if you have sons you are bringing them up to be tossers too. If not then how do you 'like' this idea?

Nope not bringing up my son to be a tosser at all, and I'm not married thanks. But seeing as the majority of violence and sexual assaults are carried out by male born people, and as someone that has been assaulted on more than one occasion by males, then I think it's ok for me to like the freedom for me that a male curfew would offer. Not that it's ever going to happen anyway. Hope this helps.🙂

@FilthyBiscuit interesting point! I know my son and my nephews are very acutely aware of physically violence. They talk a lot about knife attacks and which boy is known for violence. However they do not like to look weak and so will say it can defend myself’ as they feel weakness will be pounced on. They have all either had near attacks, seen attacks or been attacked already. It’s pretty awful being a young man I think at times!

Men didn't come into the question.

It was a question about women and their feelings

Women aren’t allowed to have feelings or hypothetical discussions without centering men. Didn’t you get the memo?

On a more light hearted note - I think my blood pressure would return to normal if there was a curfew as I could stop worrying about my young male relatives!

However the resentment that they’d feel would damage them I think!

@30to50FeralHogs but the thread is all about men! Ha ha.

Can I just add that if women weren't so overly sexualised by society/the media etc then maybe men wouldn't objectify them so much? Maybe start to see us as humans and not sexual beings/lesser? Just a thought.

@30to50FeralHogs Ah no, must have missed that one, but not to worry because if this thread is anything to go by most woman got it, read it and inwardly digested it.

Yeah, seems it's all about the men. Silly me.

Ridiculous and unjust idea. I want to go out with my husband at night, he wants to go out with his friends in the evening as do my brothers and sons and their friends. All law abiding men who should have no restrictions put on them - they are men, not criminals!

Gosh, won't someone think of the menz in this hypothetical situation. They want to go out too [wrings hands]

I think a big part of the reason why the stats show that men are more likely to be victims of violent crime is because women employ lots of strategies to avoid being victims such as not going out alone at night, whereas I’d guess most men don’t give it a second thought. If women allowed themselves the same freedoms as men then the figures would be a lot higher. Similarly if men employed all the strategies that women use their figures would be lower.