PIL and Multiple Inheritances

[ConceputilsingApparantly]

Name changed in case outing in real life.

PIL have just received their fourth large inheritance (he was sole beneficiary to his mother and brother in recent years, MIL got 1/3 of her father's estate and now 1/3 of her brother's property worth over £1 million).

Obviously this is DH's grandparents and uncles who have passed away. He is unsure whether they left wills or whether they died intestate (PIL change the subject rather obviously when asked).

Is it unreasonable to be slightly saddened that he has been left nothing by any of his grandparents or uncles?

In all cases, the estates/share of inheritance would have been worth over £250,000. PIL are wealthy, large house with mortgage long paid off, 2 holiday homes overseas, retired early on final salary pension schemes and waste a lot of money on cars, motorhomes and holiday homes which they are constantly changing.

To me it is weird if anyone other than their own children inherit. What does you own will say OP? Do your grandchildren, future grandchildren and siblings inherit from you? Or is it also just the children?

OP, it’s none of your business. Butt out.

It could be the case OP that when they do shuffle off the mortal coil their estate is such a clusterfuck that he'll be glad he was left out of the will?

I think they are trying to play both ends to the middle and somehow fuck everyone over.... They certainly seem to have something to hide 🕵️

There has to have been a Grant of Probate (will in place) or Letters of Administration (intestate) in order for any funds to be released. Where I worked we had to have the original Grant plus a signed withdrawal by the executors or administrators before releasing funds. Most large estates were administered by solicitors but we did have some cases where the executors extracted the Probate themselves dealing with the Probate office directly

I'm going against the grain here....pulls on steel pants.

The whole situation with the multiple wills does sound odd and imho warrants further investigation.

That said, I'm not going to lie.

I'd be hugely annoyed if my parents (who like the OP's PIL) have been the recipients of multiple £££ inheritances were just pissing it away.

The depreciation on 6 motorhomes would have been phenomenal, as would have been the costs of buying/selling multiple holiday homes.

To be clear, I've no objection to my parents spending money on luxury items and they do...lovely cars, fabulous holidays, house extensions, new top of the range kitchens etc

They buy things that bring them pleasure and I'm glad they do.

However, they are not frivolous nor reckless in throwing money down the drain on whims or poor decisions.

It's one thing spending inheritance on a nice lifestyle and quite another (and imho disrespectful to those who gifted it to you) to fritter that money away needlessly.

What sort of person are you that would deny money to your children/grandchildren in favour of utterly unnecessary profligate spending? FFS 6 motorhomes in 8 years for trivial reasons....it's selfish beyond belief.

Posters can argue it's "grabby" as much as they like - I think they are missing the point that the OP's PIL's attitude to their inheritances is reprehensible. Happy to receive it themselves but happier still to pull the drawbridge up behind them whilst laughing about it and pissing it away.

What happens if they need care in the future? Who are they expecting to fund that when they have finally finished their spending spree?

They sound awful quite frankly.

This famous, corrupt, dead solicitor? Can you contact anyone who was investigating his fraud. Would they have copies of all wills held by him etc? Or any details at all?

Some people keep their wills at home somewhere safe and usually tell their children where it is.

Mine is and my husband's was with a solicitor but he isn't doing the administration, just kept the wills until needed and then passed on to the executor, online and paper copies; you need to submit three originals with application for probate. Once probate is applied for anyone can access a copy from the government office for a small fee (or it might be when probate is granted, can't remember).

He wants to speak to his parents about their wishes for funerals, etc but is hesitant

Yeah, go for it

PIL's attitude to their inheritances is reprehensible. Happy to receive it themselves but happier still to pull the drawbridge up behind them.

Well done for saying that. Phew, someone made the sane point.

I am 30 so this is a genuine question - was it always an "expected" thing that you would be entitled to an inheritance?

I grew up in a family in which inheritance went down the family line - my mother and her brother inherited from their father, my father from his mother and also a couple of childless aunts whose affairs he looked after for years. I’ve also had a couple of small bequests (1K) from those estates.

So, I consider it normal for people to leave money to their children, or nieces/nephews if childless, maybe with small amounts to grandchildren but the bulk to children.

But that is only if there is money to be left. There might be loads, there might be barely enough to pay for the wake - that doesn’t matter. I certainly wouldn’t want my mum hoarding up her cash in order to leave more to my sisters and me - she should be comfortable in her old age.

But if when the time comes I found out she had left it all to the dogs’ home, or between my sisters and none for me, then I would be upset. Because we have a good relationship, and it would be really weird for her to cut me out.

I obtained a copy of a will online. £10 easy.

So you feel some entitlement to be given something and resent the wealth of others?

You deserve what you build for yourself, if you receive a gift from someone, that is a bonus but should never be expected.

Jealousy and entitlement are ugly.

If I heard anything like this come from any of those that stand to inherit from me, I would give it to a tortoise arse cysts research fund and they wouldn’t see a penny.

I'm quite surprised that PIL want to spend the lot and leave nothing for DH. If I'd inherited as much as you say they have, I couldn't leave this earth without making sure my DCs were as comfortably off as me. It sounds like their life is lovely anyway. I can't understand why they wouldn't want to share. But then I was raised by very generous people.

Completely their business what they do with their money, so YABU, sorry. It's not for you to judge how they use or 'waste' it.

It's rare for an inheritance to skip a generation. I engineered this myself by putting aside my inheritance from my DM to boost deposit funds for DC. I told them my intention and made clear it was for no other purpose. The first has just married and bought a house using the deposit and I couldn't think of a better use for it.

DD at the time of the inheritance said he'd never buy a house so could he have 'his' share now, please? I told him if he was certain he'd never want a house I'd divide the pot 50:50 between his sisters. He's now saving for a deposit!

We had just paid off our mortgage when DM died and my DP had both slogged all their working lives, including war service, to provide for their children so I wanted something tangible to pass on.

A second home would have been nice but greedy, given how hard it is for young people getting started these days. Our first modest little cottage cost twice one salary. What could you get for that now?

DS, not DD! His pronouns match his assigned-at-birth gender and he self-identifies as male...

OP - you’ve obtained the will! What does it say?????