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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

PIL and Multiple Inheritances

192 replies

ConceputilsingApparantly · 07/10/2019 12:43

Name changed in case outing in real life.

PIL have just received their fourth large inheritance (he was sole beneficiary to his mother and brother in recent years, MIL got 1/3 of her father's estate and now 1/3 of her brother's property worth over £1 million).

Obviously this is DH's grandparents and uncles who have passed away. He is unsure whether they left wills or whether they died intestate (PIL change the subject rather obviously when asked).

Is it unreasonable to be slightly saddened that he has been left nothing by any of his grandparents or uncles?

In all cases, the estates/share of inheritance would have been worth over £250,000. PIL are wealthy, large house with mortgage long paid off, 2 holiday homes overseas, retired early on final salary pension schemes and waste a lot of money on cars, motorhomes and holiday homes which they are constantly changing.

OP posts:

AutumnCrow · 07/10/2019 14:50

I've done two things regarding my will.

Told the beneficiaries where it is, and what's in it.

Made the main beneficiaries (my adult DC) the joint executors.

It's probably a good idea to email them all a scanned copy, too - good thinking. Will Wailing is something we should all try to avoid, if we're normal and healthy.

Aridane · 07/10/2019 15:03

Wills are only public when admitted to probate. There is no central register of wills prior to theb

L0bstersLass · 07/10/2019 15:06

Normally I would say it's none of your business and that if they choose to spend all their money and leave nothing for anyone, then good for them.

However, in this case it does sound like you have reason to be suspicious. I would encourage you to try to obtain copies of the wills and if this is not possible then do take independent legal advice.

user1487194234 · 07/10/2019 15:23

Your DH will have a claim to legal rights in his parents estate,but not in his grandparents.
The claim is only in respect of moveable estate ie not houses

If you think he was mentioned in the Wills that is different.

For deaths after 2000 try Commissary Dept ,Edinburgh Sheriff court (regardless of where in Scotland they lived)

WhatHaveIFound · 07/10/2019 15:27

The more I read your replies the more suspicious it sounds and i would encourage your DH to get copies of the wills if at all possible. It sounds like his parents are favouring his siblings over him too.

Original poster

ConceputilsingApparantly · 07/10/2019 15:34

WhatHaveIFound The more I read your replies the more suspicious it sounds and i would encourage your DH to get copies of the wills if at all possible. It sounds like his parents are favouring his siblings over him too.

The more I think about, the more it stinks! I do wonder whether the comments about the corrupt solicitor are designed to put people off the trail of looking into it all.

User For deaths after 2000 try Commissary Dept ,Edinburgh Sheriff court (regardless of where in Scotland they lived)

I need to write or email them. I wouldn't be surprised if no will is listed with them though. Its all very difficult to unravel.

To some other posters, no I am not trying to get their hands on their money. I hope it all goes in care home fees actually. I am simply trying to find out whether they got their hands on someone else's money that they are not entitled to, because their comments have been so suspicious.

FIL's last comment to me was that I "should work harder and earn more money" when he overheard DH and me saying that my car would have to go into the garage before its MOT. Apparently, I "should have enough money to buy a new car". What planet do these people live on? He likes to perpetuate the line that I somehow, mysteriously, don't work very hard and hence we are "poor" because of it. FWIW DH and I both work full time in as well paid professional jobs as we can get. I suppose we could always fit some bar work in the evenings and weekends though!

OP posts:

Amanduh · 07/10/2019 15:35

You are bitter, jealous and grabby.

Original poster

ConceputilsingApparantly · 07/10/2019 15:38

Armanduh You are bitter, jealous and grabby.

What am I grabbing exactly? Its probably all spent, I'm financially secure and I don't want to hang around PIL in expectation of an inheritance.

I am however really suspicious of their grabby behaviours. And I'm going to do a little bit of digging to find out if that's justified.

OP posts:

Horsemad · 07/10/2019 15:41

Would your PILs know (are they told officially) if you've applied for copies of the various wills?

Original poster

ConceputilsingApparantly · 07/10/2019 15:44

Horsemad Would your PILs know (are they told officially) if you've applied for copies of the various wills?

I couldn't care less.

OP posts:

Tweetingmagpie · 07/10/2019 15:48

Your dh will benefit from it when his parents die unless they spend it all.

I have to say all of these inheritance threads at the moment are very grabby, obviously everyone wants to leave something behind for their children if they can but i dont like the idea of people expecting it.

user1487194234 · 07/10/2019 15:49

No they would not find that out

Genevieva · 07/10/2019 15:51

Wills are public documents once the estate has received probate. You can search and buy a copy of probate records.

Genevieva · 07/10/2019 15:54

Just seen that my comment has been covered. I think you can order them online.

Andylion · 07/10/2019 16:12

They are in Scotland and wills cannot be traced easily at all but the prevailing story is that all the wills have been lost due to the solicitor dieing/being corrupt

All four used the same solicitor? Did they all live the same, tiny village?

Original poster

ConceputilsingApparantly · 07/10/2019 16:17

All four used the same solicitor? Did they all live the same, tiny village?

Yes. Well, the same rural area served by the same county town.

I can't say whether the relatives other than PIL all used the same solicitor. But PIL always give the reason for the confusion as being that the same solicitor was always involved.

OP posts:

abbey44 · 07/10/2019 16:22

As has been said already, sometimes things don't always happen as they should with wills - it happened in my own family. My father was one of three siblings, his eldest sister was sole executor of a lot of the family wills - their parents, uncles and aunts - and neither he nor the younger sister inherited anything from any of them. Obviously, they didn't query this at first, not liking to seem grabby, but it turned out that the older sister had appropriated everything for herself. Just kept it. By the time it was discover d and legal advice was taken, it was apparently out of time, and anyway, "nobody would prosecute an old lady". She was a very wealthy old lady when she died, and left it all to her favourite son.

So if you do think something untoward has gone on, don't leave it, try and find out what's happened sooner rather than later.

gubbsywubbsy · 07/10/2019 16:33

What's the iabu ? It's their money that they can waste if they like !!! You sound grabby tbh 🤷‍♀️

Bibijayne · 07/10/2019 16:39

YABU. But probate decisions (will or not) are public records. Very easy to look up!

But again - YABU.

AutumnCrow · 07/10/2019 16:39

Oh god can people quit with the 'grabby ' bollocks.

This is about potential fraud, potential theft, and Scottish inheritance law.

A will is a lawful instruction. It's really OK to check that the instruction has been properly carried out.

It's also helpful for OP to understand Scottish law in respect of her DH and his parents.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/10/2019 16:40

But PIL always give the reason for the confusion as being that the same solicitor was always involved

A bit convenient for them that the solicitor's now dead, isn't it?

None of us here can know whether you're grabby or not, but even if it's so, it's perfectly possible to be grabby and justifiably suspicious. Given the complete mess this sounds, even if you were to track down a will, what's to stop PILs claiming there was a later one and that "theirs" is the correct version?

What really beats me is that you've said they like to bring the subject up, but then clam up if questions are asked ... but why would they risk mentioning it at all if they've done anything dodgy and have something to hide?

Sciurus83 · 07/10/2019 16:43

Everyone here will tell you that you are grabby, bit I totally see where you are coming from. They are financially secure, it is a shame they don't want to help their children, it's what decent parents do. When my grandparents died my parents were in a similar position to your in-laws, the three grandchildren (me included) were not in the will. DF divided the estate four ways, us three grandchildren all used the money to get on the property ladder. He didn't have to do that, we are very fortunate to be in the position we are and are very grateful. Unfortunately not everyone is like that.

Original poster

ConceputilsingApparantly · 07/10/2019 16:45

Just can't seem to help themselves talking about it/pre-emptive strike/not sure they've done something wrong and require reassurance?

No idea why they would keep using a solicitor who had been under investigation by the Law Society for years but it seemed to suit them quite well. And a number of his other clients I would guess. Strange that he wasn't shut down years before he died.

OP posts:

swingofthings · 07/10/2019 16:48

Oh god can people quit with the 'grabby ' bollocks.This is about potential fraud, potential theft, and Scottish inheritance law

Not it isn't about this. Read the OP again. It only became about potential fraud when posters raised the grabby attitude. The question in the first post was not 'do you think we should investigate a potential fraud'. It was ' isn't it sad that we were left nothing when PIL are too rich for they own good'.

So yes. grabby and it is really sad that such threads are becoming more and more common. The attitude of entitlement and denial that some many people do deserve to enjoy the money they've earned seems to be growing each decade.

AutumnCrow · 07/10/2019 16:52

He is unsure whether they left wills or whether they died intestate (PIL change the subject rather obviously when asked)

In the opening post

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