PIL and Multiple Inheritances

[ConceputilsingApparantly]

Name changed in case outing in real life.

PIL have just received their fourth large inheritance (he was sole beneficiary to his mother and brother in recent years, MIL got 1/3 of her father's estate and now 1/3 of her brother's property worth over £1 million).

Obviously this is DH's grandparents and uncles who have passed away. He is unsure whether they left wills or whether they died intestate (PIL change the subject rather obviously when asked).

Is it unreasonable to be slightly saddened that he has been left nothing by any of his grandparents or uncles?

In all cases, the estates/share of inheritance would have been worth over £250,000. PIL are wealthy, large house with mortgage long paid off, 2 holiday homes overseas, retired early on final salary pension schemes and waste a lot of money on cars, motorhomes and holiday homes which they are constantly changing.

So get onto the probate office, like you've been advised on here, repeatedly, to see those wills. That's an obvious first step.

Maybe they didn’t want his money grabbing partner getting the money? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Please think on that they are well able to finance carers then. You are to be called upon for zero help. My dgm didn't leave a will - but we discussed what I would be inheriting - and for my dc. She died suddenly and d-aunt kept the lot.
When she died her carer received a hell of a lot of money and family heirlooms.
Was more gutted she didn't honour my dgm's wishes even though they weren't written down.
Money /wills doesn't bring out the best in anyone.
But they sound like strings attached people and you are well out of it imo..

I have some sympathy for the OP. My inlaws have similarly had various large inheritances, none of which were passed on to their children. They are already wealthy, so none of it was life changing for them. Some of my husband’s siblings are really struggling and receiving some of that money would have changed their lives. I realise it will all be passed on eventually, but it seems as though inheritance is often passed on at the point when it isn’t needed quite as much. I don’t think the OP is being grabby in her post.

There are several overlapping issues here, aren't there? There's the money, and there's what the money represents. Which is it that bothers you most?

You can go down the road of investigating the GP's and uncles' wills - it costs £1.50 per will, I've just ordered my father's as a result of this thread. If you find that your DH was left something he didn't receive, then you need legal advice. And if there was no will - well, that's intestacy, and I haven't got a clue about that, but again a solicitor would be able to tell you whether he should have received something from those estates or not.

Then there's these comments from his parents about him not expecting anything from them...... that sounds like a horrible dynamic. But at the end of the day, they can write their wills however they like. Sadly, some parents like to control and torture their children well into adulthood.

I said YABU but I don't mean that slightingly; it's quite normal for people to leave their money/property to next of kin. Your husband will inherit in due course, perhaps before then his parents will give him some money.

You can check online if there is a will.:
www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

If the people died intestate your husband's parents would have been next of kin.

Don't fret, everything comes to those who wait! So we're told, sometimes it comes too late but as long as you two are in good health why worry.

OP, if you suspect PILs may have been obfuscating the truth, you can have a search of the wills register online yourself - just see what comes up.

Well, seemingly everything has been ‘lost’ and the dodgy solicitor has passed on (and presumably had all paperwork buried with him), which sounds both plausible and bulletproof, in this era of digital information processing. Nary a trace to be found ...

"Isn't the we're not leaving anything we're going to spend it all a standard joke in most families"

Is it?!

Why are you concerning yourself with something that has absolutely nothing to do with you?
It's up to them how they spend their money, maybe your dh will benefit from pil will.
If you think the will hasn't been adhered to by the executors your dh can look himself.

My grandparents left to my parents, who very kindly gave me a share.

That's normal, I think. If your husband's extended family wanted to put him into their wills, they could have.

Surely he'll inherit from your PILs, that's kind of how it works.

Let me make this very easy for you OP. Here's the link to the GOV.UK website where you can search for and even order a copy of a will for a small fee: www.gov.uk/search-will-probate - problem solved! You're welcome :-)

@ConceputilsingApparantly
What they do with their money is their business. What’s left to them is theirs and theirs alone to do with as they see fit. Wind your neck in. DW & I plan to leave nothing for family, yes indeed, we plan to step high and wide and live life to the full.
However, you say DH was surprised to receive no minor bequest as he was close to them. In that case, as previous posters have stated ‘check with probate office for a copy of the will’ and then simply have a look. It costs £1.50 to release a copy of the order of probate and the will.
Someone has even gone to the trouble of supplying you with a link. It is simple to apply, I have just checked it re my own father who I acted for.

Just to be clear, whoever acted as executor cannot gain access to the the assets of the deceased’s estate from banks, stocks or anywhere else unless they have obtained a probate order from the courts. Ie no one gets a penny without an order.

Check the Probate Office then you’ll know if DH has been deprived of inheritance.

PuzzledObserver There are several overlapping issues here, aren't there? There's the money, and there's what the money represents. Which is it that bothers you most?

What actually bothers me is that I think they've pulled a fast one on their own son. I suspect they have ignored either the grandfather's or uncle's wishes, and I know they have lied as I have heard conflicting versions from them. (They also lied about not giving DH's brother 90k, but he told us).

I only started thinking about it because they kept raising the topic when I was present. We have pulled back from them in recent years but DH is still expected to jump when they say. If one of them was taken into hospital, for instance, there would be demands placed upon him in quite a forceful way. Possibly financial demands. FIL in particular is really good at not paying his own way and getting other people to pay for him.

They are in Scotland and wills cannot be traced easily at all but the prevailing story is that all the wills have been lost due to the solicitor dieing/being corrupt.

(Wills) have been "lost" ... the solicitor dealing with it has died, during an investigation by the Law Society

PIL vocal that they will not leave DH anything in their will. He has a brother and a sister and the brother has already received £90,000 towards a house

PIL fell out with his uncle and didn't speak for the last 10 years of his life

TBH this all sounds as if there's a lot more to it than meets the eye. You'd BU to expect anything, but all the same it might be worth getting some proper legal advice

Make your own money instead of tapping your fingers waiting for people to die.

I don't think it's usual to leave money to grandchildren. My mother's will splits the money between me and my sister (not that we are talking about much money). I would much prefer in my case that it all went straight to my children (her grandchildren). However it's possible to vary a will if the beneficiary agrees and when she dies that is what I will do.

Our grandchildren aren’t getting anything when we die. Always assuming we haven’t “wasted” it all by then. You’re very grabby, OP.

Why does it matter if they chose to give the brother 90k? Surely if it’s their money it’s nothing to do with you?

the prevailing story is that all the wills have been lost due to the solicitor dieing/being corrupt

What did the solicitor firm say when your DH approached them directly?

The solicitors copies might have been lost but for them to have received these large estates then probate must have been gone through and the original will logged with the probate office.
Follow the link already given several time in this thread and even in Scotland you can get a copy of the grant of probate.

Isn't the we're not leaving anything we're going to spend it all a standard joke in most families?

I though this was fairly common too, both my parents and in-laws always chuckle and quote things like ' travel first class, your heirs' will"!
They're all war babies and can't bring themselves to actually do it though, too inherently frugal!

If your dh suspects that the deceased's wishes were not carried out,then HE WNBU to seek out copies of wills and the results of the legal investigation you mentioned earlier. Of course HE WNBU to do so, one of the final things we can do for those we love is to honour their final wishes.
But if YOU are peeved because the in-laws are living the life of Riley (whoever Riley is) and you're not, then you have to simply take a deep breath and move on, accept that your dh doesn't wish to pursue it. May be your in-laws will actually spend it all and you can nod sagely whilst your BIL rages that they promised it all to him and he remortgaged for half a mill on the expectation and now there's nothing. And then you smile and walk away. Circus/monkeys.

I too would get legal advice.

If there was a will then it is registered with the courts and anyone can get access to it.

If there’s no will, then there is a legal process to follow to divide the estate.

Please ignore random apostrophe in heirs

Me? I'd be asking the in laws to sign an affidavit to the effect that there are no financial or other ties or arrangements between us. If they do spend it all no way would I want social services knocking on my door to discuss care arrangements. And that's what I'd be saying when they mentioned their wills again.
But then I'm a hard nosed cah when it comes to finances.