To think that ‘mum’ friends are often far more hassle than they’re worth?!

[Blargon7]

Jeez.

I’ve been dropped by my close ‘mum’ friend from the school, she’s gone from being super keen to not wanting to meet up with me. It really hurts and I don’t know why. She is however still going around with another group of mums, a couple of whom she has moaned about to me on many occasions.

Then there are the other women there. Some I say hi and have a quick chat to but sadly we don’t have much in common and don’t really click, it’s just polite how are your kids doing chat which is fine.

Then there are a lot of mums who have cliques and seem to bully and slag off a bunch of other mums to the point where some mums have stopped coming into the playground and have been reduced to tears.

I just can’t be arsed with this fucking bullshit anymore! Life is too bloody short.

What’s your experience?!

Yeah I think better not get too involved, seen it at work people get too close, going out, going for lunches, ringing each other then a row happens might be caused by a manager and there is a rift seen it happen and then people aren't happy, so better keep things professional at all times, same in this instance kids are attending school it's not a social club for mothers, go about your business. Definitely think it's an opportunity to meet new friends but it all comes at a price as people have given examples above like favours...oh cricky...
When I started dating my husband heading out with other couple use to do my head in as just because I was going out with him didn't mean I was going to hit if off with friends wives, just not my scene, I have met one woman who is married to my husband's friend and we get on and I like running into her but like that I keep it brisk as both have busy lives...same for My husband's sister in laws...I think they thought we were all going to be best buds...we get on great but I don't do big female friendships as it wrecks my head...so I personally like to chat..keep it light and go about my business...sometimes it easier..,

I find the whole school mum thing extremely stressful. It’s like being back at school myself. It’s like everyone’s taken insanity drugs! This sudden need to be the queen and popular. There are umpteen WhatsApp groups and I can’t keep up with it all. Honestly, I just want one or two good/reliable friends who I know like me and are round for a coffee when I need a chat. I don’t really want to be going on holiday with a bunch of strangers with everybody else’s kids! I want peace onholiday! Think I must be weird as at our school it’s non stop coffee mornings and “drinkies”. I don’t know. Too much for me!

Yes at my daughters school if you dont fit in you just get ignored I'm about 10 years younger than most of the mums there at her school I've just learned to keep myself to my self.

I am currently perfecting the exact time to leave the car to get there within 1 minute of them getting out Smile, get kid, leave

All of my children had lots of nice Mum's in each of there classes.

The thing with me is sometimes I just don't want to talk to people.

Nothing wrong with them, or me, just sometimes I just couldn't be arsed.

So I never wanted to be so involved that I couldn't sit happily in my car with my book, phone, radio, ignoring every one if that was what I felt like, particularly in winter, when I would get my nice spot for the car and settle in for a snooze.

Some people are very social all the time. I am, some of the time.

I just don't want to feel I have to be.

Wow, I’ve made several lovely friends from the class mum thing, we often meet up for lunches / walks while the kids are at school and help each other out with emergency childcare etc. As I’m a SAHM those relationships are keeping me sane in an otherwise v dull week!

Sorry your experience has been so different 🤷‍♀️

Eurghh sounds selfish to say but the only way to get through friendships as an adult is to do what suits you. Actively tried to make more of an effort with other mums for my kids sake, but just made me realise that not everyone is after the same things in a friendship. Small talk and play dates if I feel like I need a change of scenery now. When people can't even reply to a text message, leaving you feeling like a pleb for bothering your hole, you soon realise it's not worth it. YANBU

I did make some really good friends at my DDs primary school, which has lasted well into them starting secondary school. But I think I was lucky with the year group I fell into, as I know others were a lot less friendly.