Is sleeping with 4 people in a month a bit much?

[holdtheladdersteady]

Am I just an old prude?

Is sleeping with 4 different people in a month a bit...I don’t know...grim?

I just found this out about someone and it makes me feel a bit sick. AIBU?

I'd be unbelievably hurt.
Clearly he isn't interested in a relationship with you.
I couldn't be with someone like that.

@HeadintheiClouds

There are opinions, and there’s being judgemental. The two are very different.
However, op, if it’s your partner then that’s different. Were you aware you were in an open relationship? I voted yabu because you didn’t put that until later in the thread.

If you had just met and weren’t exclusive and he was using protection I don’t think it is too terrible.

When I was a student and working in city centre bars & clubs, four people would have been a relatively quiet month . When I was young, free & single, I was free & single...

I would usually say it's not a problem, as long as it's consenting adults and it's all safe sex then why the hell not. But, I can see why you are annoyed, especially if you was led to believe you was the only person he was seeing. Was you together properly, or just seeing each other? Did he stop seeing these women when you become official? That makes all the difference.
He's certainly opened a can of worms telling you this, I bet he's kicking himself now!

I can’t really work our from your posts what your relationship situation is exactly, but if it’s a single person I don’t have an opinion on it. I’ve certainly done it myself in the past when single, the amount of people I choose to date or sleep with when single has no bearing on my ability to be faithful when in a relationship. I’ve never cheated on a partner or even wanted to.

It's so sad how low some people's standards are, 'you weren't in a relationship so that's fine'

When you meet someone that you really like, aren't you super excited about them and only thinking of them, wanting to see them etc?! Not shagging 3 other people on the side

I wouldn't be that happy about it but you must have slept with him early on after meeting him and it wasn't exclusive. I would have concerns regarding safety / STDs but he is entitled to sleep with who he wants to if you're not in a relationship

which1 "Clearly he isn't interested in a relationship with you."

But the OP hasn't said how long they've been together?

On the basis of your op yabu, however on your update - yanbu

What’s your issue - the number or that you weren’t as ‘special’ as you thought you were? Did he lie to you at the time? Why are you thinking about it now?

But ‘in general’ No, having sex with 4 people in a month, a week or a day isn’t ‘a bit much’ as long as everyone knows where they stand & they are all happy.

I’ve learnt a hard lesson about exclusivity - I didn’t even realise it was a thing until coming on here. I guess I’ll know for the future. One of the ones before me was his exGF, although he didn’t actually finish with her until he’d been seeing me for 2 months (I didn’t know she existed). One before me was a one night stand. Then there was me. Then there was another one night stand. Then there was me again for 18 months before I found all this out.

When you meet someone that you really like, aren't you super excited about them and only thinking of them, wanting to see them etc?! Not shagging 3 other people on the side

He wasn't shagging 3 other people on the side...

So he was shagging 3 other people on the side.

I think probably there needs to be a bit more context here, because its going to change peoples opinions depending on what stage of the relationship you're in.

If your partners single (and it sounds like they consider themselves to be) then no, its ok.

If you were in a relationship, then no its not ok.

I think I'd be more concerned about his treatment of his girlfriend.

Honestly, if you'd written your OP a bit differently and given the relevant info, I'm sure the replies would be different.

Many moons ago I slept with 2 in one night 🤢😂 wouldn't do that now but as long as you are careful who cares although he might be after one thing

Wait so based on your latest update - this happened 18 months ago?!

He does sounds a bit of a bellend. I think thats the biggest issue here, rather than it just being a bit grim.

I would be more worried about how many he is still sleeping with 🤔 xx

Were you officially together? It would only worry me if I hadn't used barrier protection, to be honest. If it wasn't an exclusive relationship then I don't see the problem (although I wouldn't do it myself, but I am an actual prude).

So, he cheated on his GF with you and two other women in a month.
Then continued to cheat on her with you for another two months?

I guess I’ll know for the future.

I hope this means your his latest ex-GF?

I hope you’re his latest rex

So he wasn't actually single. He had a gf and slept with 3 other women including you in the space of a month.

Did you ask him how many times he cheated the previous month?

I’ve learnt a hard lesson about exclusivity - I didn’t even realise it was a thing until coming on here. I guess I’ll know for the future. One of the ones before me was his exGF, although he didn’t actually finish with her until he’d been seeing me for 2 months (I didn’t know she existed). One before me was a one night stand. Then there was me. Then there was another one night stand. Then there was me again for 18 months before I found all this out.
Forgetting the one night stands, I would be very bothered that he had a girlfriend for 2 months while he was shagging me on the side. Actually that would be a deal breaker. He's cheated with you (although you were unaware he was doing it!), and will cheat on you. Get rid is my advice.

There were times in my life when it could have been me; there were times when it would have been grim.

Context is relevant

Sex with Two blokes in two nights, not so difficult.

Why is it only to be judged if it's different people i.e. sex four times with one person, no problem. Sex with four or more ? different partners is something to be judged. Why ?