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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel spoilt but gutted by my 40th birthday?

303 replies

Dairymilkfordinner · 06/10/2019 04:34

DH asked ages ago what I'd like to do and for specific pressie ideas for him and others to buy me. Don't normally do anything for my birthdays so I was up for something a bit special and a lovely celebration. Told him I'd like something like a lunch with all the family and then drinks/party/celebration with all my friends.

On my actual bday, it was all a surprise. He took me to a restaurant for lunch with the kids and I fully expected to turn up and find the rest of the family waiting for me....but no, just us. Then he'd booked that night in a hotel for just him and me. Following day, he took me to a pub where all my family were waiting to surprise me. Which was lovely but none of my friends were involved at all. I didn't see any of them and they'd all been asking what I was doing for my birthday - I thought they were in on some surprise but obviously not! It's too late now to organise a get together with friends as they all live all over the country.

Present-wise, he and everybody else bought lovely gifts but not actually anything I'd asked for despite asking me for specifics - ie I asked for some smellies and got given the right brand but the wrong fragrances etc- that kind of thing. And he bought me something really expensive but not at all what I wanted!

I just feel like I should've just organised a party for myself. I'm also wondering if some of my family were a bit disappointed not to have had lunch with me on my actual birthday.

This post sounds incredibly selfish but I just can't help feeling deflated...

OP posts:
Nadaoui · 08/10/2019 18:08

Personally I think it sounds as if you had a lovely birthday. Just be happy that you are only 40 with lots of birthdays to come in the future. Next time it would be better to arrange it all yourself so that it will be the way you want it to be and everybody will be happy that it is your choice.

VioletGlow · 08/10/2019 23:52

Wow. I'm sorry but you do sound incredibly selfish. Sounds like your husband went to a lot of trouble in trying to make your birthday special. You are totally nitpicking and looking for something to fail him on when you should be appreciating his efforts.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. I'm not used to divas/princesses in my family/friends circle.

MaderiaCycle · 09/10/2019 01:03

I regrettted my 30th birthday. Spent it with my family as it was my mums 60th four days before. Organised a “30 again!” Trip the following year. Me and 9 friends went to Dublin for the weekend. Was marvellous.

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