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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

935 replies

HerRoyalFattyness · 05/10/2019 22:41

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

OP posts:
Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2019 22:41

It's the fact that your kids might walk in on you
But how when there's a bloody lock on the door?

OP posts:
Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2019 22:42

And as for hearing... There is always a chance your kids will wake and hear you!

OP posts:
Rainonmyguitar · 07/10/2019 22:43

Um, it's not the nakedness that's the problem. It's the fact that your kids might walk in on you, or hear you, having sex?

On FFS. Do you really think that parents would allow that to happen? You don't think they'd use a lock on the door, go into a locked bathroom and keep the noises down? How very patronising of you.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 22:43

Yes it's completely normal. Lots of people on this thread do it.

Weird.

Rainonmyguitar · 07/10/2019 22:44

Yes it's completely normal. Lots of people on this thread do it

Weird

You think having sex is weird?

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 22:47

And as for hearing... There is always a chance your kids will wake and hear you!

Well yes, but there is a lot more chance they are actually awake!

I couldn't enjoy sex knowing my kids might be able to hear me, eeeeeek!

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2019 22:49

I actually find it weird the amount of adults that don't have a room in the house with a lock on it for privacy.
I also find it odd that nakedness is fine but walking in on parents is abusive, even though, in a situation where a child would walk in on a parent/parents having sex they would most likely see less than if they saw a parent in the shower etc. Because naturally parents would stop and cover up pretty darn fast? Surely that's just common sense? Confused

OP posts:
PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 22:50

You think having sex is weird?

No (obviously Hmm) I think having sex whilst your kids are wide awake in the immediate vicinity is weird.

Unless you live in mansions and are sneaking off to the East Wing or something!

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2019 22:52

But what is the immediate vicinity? How far away are you comfortable with? How many rooms distance?
Honestly, it's shocking to me how many people find an active sex life strange.

OP posts:
PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 22:54

I actually find it weird the amount of adults that don't have a room in the house with a lock on it for privacy.

We have locks on the bathroom (that no one ever really uses tbh) but otherwise I don't really need locks on the other doors because I'm not doing inappropriate stuff while my kids are awake!

Plus if the door is completely locked and shut, how do you know your kid isn't stood outside the door listening to you shagging wondering wtf is going on?!

Rainonmyguitar · 07/10/2019 22:56

No (obviously hmm) I think having sex whilst your kids are wide awake in the immediate vicinity is weird

This has all been discussed in the thread. Not one person has said it's ok to have sex when a child is in 'the immediate vicinity' or can hear their parents having sex.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 22:56

Honestly, it's shocking to me how many people find an active sex life strange.

Oh FFS an 'active sex life' doesn't mean dropping everything and mounting each other literally the second the mood takes you.

I have a very active sex life thanks!

Rainonmyguitar · 07/10/2019 22:58

I have a very active sex life thanks!

Haha LIAR, LIAR!!

You're triggered because the urge never takes you and you don't have a spontaneous sex life.

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 07/10/2019 22:58

Wait til you have teens that dont go to bed til late, get up early and virtually live in their rooms

We have to do it when they are awake...or we don’t bloomin do it!

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 23:00

Not one person has said it's ok to have sex when a child is in 'the immediate vicinity' or can hear their parents having sex.

As I said, if the door is shut and locked, how do you know your kid isn't stood outside?

And do you always just go on silent running so they can't hear you but you can hear them? Different strokes I guess...

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 07/10/2019 23:02

You're triggered because the urge never takes you and you don't have a spontaneous sex life.

'Triggered' 😂

aufaitaccompli · 07/10/2019 23:02

Not remotely jealous of all you shaggers. I'm celibate for now but learning vicariously!
Good on you for taking the opportunity to keep the spark alive. So important imo.

My exDH didn't do sex...saddened by how shite it all was..

Keep it up! ( pun absolutely intended...)

Gin4us2 · 07/10/2019 23:03

@HerRoyalFattyness I think some sour prunes on here aren't as lucky as you especially as they find it weird , giving the circumstances😂❄️❄️

Rainonmyguitar · 07/10/2019 23:11

As I said, if the door is shut and locked, how do you know your kid isn't stood outside?

So what if they were stood outside(they wouldn't be anyway,I'd hear them thumping up the creaky noisy stairs shouting MUUUUUMMMMM)...they're still not going to hear anything through another door - the door to the en-suite where the grim act is taking place.

theretheirtheyrenotno · 07/10/2019 23:17

@raspberryk so it's really disgusting to have sex with your own bay in the room, but it's really really disgusting to have with your grandchild in the room? Does it get an extra disgusting with each additional generation of sleeping babies in a room?

Honestly, just tell me why it's disgusting, what could harm the baby asleep in the cot?

JadeDragon23 · 07/10/2019 23:17

Ew.

Having sex during the day whilst your 3 kids are awake and in the same house is rank and creepy.

I have no problem with nakedness around kids. But shagging whilst they’re awake and active nearby...bleugh.

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2019 23:22

how do you know your kid isn't stood outside the door listening to you shagging wondering wtf is going on
Because you can hear them thumping around. Children aren't exactly known for their stealth are they?

OP posts:
theretheirtheyrenotno · 07/10/2019 23:22

As I said, if the door is shut and locked, how do you know your kid isn't stood outside?

How do you Mo is they're not outside your door when they are supposed to be asleep?

We have a property close to the sea, during the day you cannot hear the sea, noise from daytime activities dulls all the noise. At night when it's really quiet I can easily hear the sea.

So let me explain to all the horrified MNs at people having daytime sex, it's less likely to be heard than when your child wakes at night and lies in their bed listening to the noises in the normally quiet house and all they can hear is mum and dad having fun!

Jeez there are some real strange and uptight people on this thread!

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 07/10/2019 23:23

Having sex during the day whilst your 3 kids are awake and in the same house is rank and creepy

But why do you find it rank and creepy?
They are occupied, happy and well cared for. It's not like I'm forcing them to watch Hmm

OP posts:
theretheirtheyrenotno · 07/10/2019 23:24

*Having sex during the day whilst your 3 kids are awake and in the same house is rank and creepy.

I have no problem with nakedness around kids. But shagging whilst they’re awake and active nearby...bleugh.*

Draaaammmaaaaaa!