To hate people using my first name

[Cloudyyy]

Is it unreasonable to expect strangers (shop assistants, clients etc) to use my title and surname instead of my first name unless I say otherwise? I just cannot stand the rudeness of being called my first name by a bank worker, just for example, without reason. We are not friends or colleagues, there is no need. It is presumptuous and rude. Is there ever a polite way of asking someone not to? I rarely dare say anything especially to clients and yet I really don’t like it. Do others think this is fine?

I work in a school so being called Miss Leader by children is fine but by adults I don't like it and prefer to be called by a short version of my name because my name is too long (think Sam for Samantha or Jo for Josephine).

I don’t mind either way - except! Nobody ever pronounces my first name correctly. I have a French first name and a Dutch last name (thanks husband!). People inevitably get one or other name wrong. I’m thinking of changing to be Jane Smith.

Having said this, I always appreciate people asking me how to say my name rather than struggling with some weird anglicised version.

There is always the option to just keep your own surname, if your husband's causes annoyance....

I'd much rather be called by my first name. Much rather that than 'Madame',which makes me feel like I'm about 90 years old!

I like Madam now I am 82. Also I dropped my Dutch married name with relief when I got divorced 22 years ago and went back to being me. I do not like being called Mrs in an attempt to show respect when I am not Mrs any longer. Chummy first names are condescending when you are old and assumed to be losing your marbles.

I hate being called mrs xxxxx, makes me feel old and as I'm actually a miss. Everyone assumes I'm married because I have a child and I obviously don't look 20
anymore

There is always the option to just keep your own surname,if your husband's causes annoyance........
But surely this is ILLEGAL!!!!! Well,according to my (now thankfully) ex MIL it is!

You are rude and you can't even explain it properly to people.

No wonder you are asking for help from here

Nobody uses titles any more

It shows that you are rude and arrogant and outdated by centuries of manners

I don't like medical professionals calling me by my first name.

My dd calls me by my first name.
She's known me for awhile though...

Bloody Nora!

If you don’t like your name or would rather be treated like something special as the peasants serve you then tell them your name is Madam.

God forbid you have a conversation with these commoners.

Toodel pip

No I don’t mind at all. My name isn’t some exclusive code word that only a select few are allowed to use. I don’t like it when strangers shorten or use an overfamiliar version of it (eg rach instead of Rachel, suze instead of Susan etc) but otherwise I’m fine with it.

I think you need to get over yourself! You sound extremely pompous.

my irritant is people who I don’t know calling me darling.

I hate it when clients call me by my first name, but insist I call them Mr / Mrs whatever. I find it very rude.

Me too. Far too familiar.

LolaSmiles

*I don't mind first names when there's an established professional relationship

This

I object to strangers on the phone saying “it’s ok if I call you “first name” isn’t it?”
It isn’t their decision and at the risk of being old fashioned or stuffy, I usually say “no”

These days business' can't win. Personally I would rather be called by my first name as too many times I am called Mrs Voddie, I have been Ms Voddie for 20 years!! But obviously others would prefer a more formal approach meh

I don't really mind what people call me, except that it feels very odd if they use my full first name (which nobody who really knows me ever calls me) in that ingratiating, trying to butter you up kind of way. They obviously think they're putting me at my ease by using that name but it feels so unfamiliar it would actually be less formal to be Mrs Surname.

This is so pompous and utterly ridiculous. Literally the only people I know who demand this (unless they're a doctor, teacher etc and in work) are snobby old hags who try to haggle stuff for free off shop assistants. Then go on to tell them they're wrong. Then make a big, meaningless stance about "knowing" the owner and how they're going to complain. Then putting in a complaint. Then the complaint is followed up, they are still wrong, then they are annoyed that they haven't been given vouchers for their terrible experience.

It's utterly pathetic. If you're Doris Smyth, I am not going to call you Mrs Smyth. I don't care. You're Doris. Doris. You are not more important than anyone else because you've got married.

Honestly, the only title I'd be okay with using day-to-day is Dr. Simply because at least that person has worked hard and earned it. And I'm still yet to meet someone with a PhD who is so up their own hole to demand to be called Dr when not in an academic setting. If you've got married and want everyone to call you Mrs , big whoop. You've done something millions of people have done. You aren't special.

So yeah, OP. No. Just no.

voddiekeepsmesane
It's not so much that I like formality to be honest, it's more that I really can't stand this growing fake friendliness and matey behaviour that seems to come with over familiarity.

So my doctor or health care practitioner coming into the waiting are and saying "Lola Blogs please" doesn't bother me, but if I get a call from my bank trying to sell me a loan or a current account upgrade and they open with "Hi Lola, how are you doing today?" then they can do one.

Nope still don't get it but I am originally from NZ and we are brought up a lot less formal than here so maybe it's cultural in my case.

What gets me more is the calls looking for Mr Voddie, assuming 1. I am married and 2. I have taken the name of my partner when neither is true

"Snobby old hags" - appalling ageism pepepig

Well, it's not young people insisting on being addressed as Mrs?!