circumcision ... to be conflicted

[Forallyouknow]

Come from a culture where you have a boy = you get it done. Never paid much attention to it until - predictably - had a boy. Had a traumatic birth where baby nearly didn’t make it- he is well now. Literally as soon as he was home I’ve been pestered from every relative / acquaintance when we are having it done- they want a party where they give money to the child. I can’t bear to put him through intentional pain but it seems it’s a case of when rather than if... I don’t know anyone from the same culture who wouldn’t do it ( even the young ones) whilst I don’t mind going against the grain there’s a part of me that thinks we should- I don’t know why other than it’s just assumed you do it. Feel very conflicted over the whole thing. Unfortunately because it is normally celebrated with a big party everyone knows whether you have had it done or not so my plan to just hope no one notices whilst I decide hasn’t worked. Guess more wondering what others think of it than aibu...

A colleague at work was pregnant at the same time as I was, I work in a medical setting, and she gave me the number of a plastic surgeon who was going to do it. I think that sanitised it for her but the moral aspect remains the same.

Everyone I know has the same opposition aside from the large diaspora in the area I live of which DH is part (we live in the area with the largest population of this particular community in London). DH and I had the first grandchild who was not done. Since then none of his cousins have had it done either. No one cares or asks me, even about my second son. I think everyone is waiting for someone to just say no.

I also get it. My advice to you would be to go online and see if you can find groups who are bucking the trend, so that you can quote some statistics/alternative views at your ILs. But well dome for sticking it out so far. What does your DH think? Can he tell the family to lay off?

I had a BF who'd had it done for medical reasons and he had no sensitivity there .

The only people I've know whose children have had it done (apart from Jews and Muslims and I've never discussed that with them), it has been for medical reasons and the little boys have been fine afterwards.

They will have been operated on in hospital under anaesthetic and full operating theatre conditions, so they should have no immediate problems.
They will still have potential for sensitivity loss.