To not want to give more

[SummerTime12345]

So a friend is getting married very soon. They have asked for money for their honeymoon - which obviously doesn't bother me if that's what they want!
I just don't know what to give. We have only met this year but have become very close and see each other a couple of times a week. I'm going to the full wedding day and I went on the hen do. But I don't know what to give!
Help!

I do between £30-£70 for a good friend depending on how much money I have that month. If I don’t have a lot then I sometimes give less and then add a small box of heart truffles or something. It’s completely up to you. If her reaction is anything other than, “Oh how lovely, she’s given me a gift,” she’s not a true friend. When I got married I received vouchers £20-£300 (higher amounts were from family where several members of 1 family group clubbed together).

I think £40-50 is the normal amount from the weddings I’ve been to and my own but it’s what you can afford and she wouldn’t be much of a friend if she was bothered by how much you gave

Pay what you can afford, as bride once I’d be mortified if one of my invited guests felt they had to pay for their own meal to cover the costs... your an invited guest.

I won't go into debt gift giving. I would not want anyone doing that for me. Your not obliged to spend a minimum amount it's a gift

As a couple we gave £50 once. I think that's fine. If you can't afford more than £20 that's also fine.

I would have felt £50 max. But if you can't afford more than £20, that's what you should do. It's a pity it's going to be given separately and it known what everybody ne gave - maybe suggest you all get together and present them with one amount? (That way they'll get one bigger amount from all of you)

I think it is a bit cruel to suggest £1000 to someone who has just said they are hard up!

I think the going rate is £100 if you know someone quite well and £50 if you are an acquaintance is fine. But people’s financial circumstances should also be considered and, in their case, £20 is perfectly acceptable. You cannot buy a nice card under £3 now either so that will be more to pay out.

When my DD got married this year I was shocked at the expenditure for both hosts and guests. Had we not put some money by we would have, as a retired couple, been sorely pushed to pay our bit. I think the whole wedding thing has got a bit out of hand.

“I certainly wouldn’t match the gift to the cost of the reception. It would be desperately unpleasant to give an expensive gift to those who can afford or wish to prioritise an expensive wedding and a cheap gift to those who cannot.

We give in the realm of £100 for everyone. If we could not afford that we would give less. If £20 is what you can afford, give that. Decent people will be grateful.”

This except we give £50. How horrible to think we might have been judged for that. You’re not buying a ticket to an event.

I think most of my friends would be offended if I gave them £1k....

When I was younger, I would give a small gift to the value of about £20....or what I could afford at the time. This included my eldest bro as I was a student when he married.

As a couple in our 30s, we tend go to a lot fewer weddings now and tend to give £100 to friends/colleagues (everyone just wants cash now....). We’ve given much more to younger siblings and close relatives.

Don’t give more than you can afford, I would expect a close friend to know that a gift of £10 or £20 is generous given your circumstances.

I think £50 is fine.Its about the price of a present.But if you can only give £2o,do that.And when you are in a better financial place bring the bride for a meal out.

To the person giving a grand, if they wanted gifts what gift would you buy them for a grand? Best toaster ever?

£10-20 but i have a limited budget. My food budget pper week is £30 so £10-20 alot to me.

I give £25 for a reception, £30 for the whole day. That's whether one or the whole family attends. Unless it's close family. Then I give nothing. It would seem so silly and embarrassing to get or give money to a sibling. I'd rather go out for lunch together or something.
I've always felt awkward receiving money. Gifts can be thoughtful, time is precious. But handing over money feels weird.

You're going to get ridiculous people who think giving £1k is normal (and are the kind of bore who likes to casually throw in that they own multiple properties/are a landlord).

Op give what you can afford. If they're anyway half decent people, they'd be happy to have your company on the day, a nice card and a token amount like a tenner.

I’d say £50

The least I would give is £100 to a good friend. £20?? unless someone is skint, I wouldn’t suggest that.

What would you have spent on a gift?

I've paid £50-100 for close friends and family because in my world that's a good amount of money! But everyone else gets maybe £20/30. I've only ever heard the pay for your meal plus extra etc on here. It must be a class or social circles thing maybe. I'm working class and in my experiences with friends and family and we don't spend fortunes anywhere near £500/£1000 on gifts at any occasion. It's the thought that counts.

If she is a lovely friend she will have appreciated your company at the hen party and then the wedding too. Pay why you can afford, I know if I got married I'd rather have the people I love there without giving anything if it meant they wouldn't be stressed and worrying! -Attending weddings and hen parties can be expensive enough for those that are comfortable and live month to month. Have a lovely time OP

So less close friend/work colleague £300ish. Close friend/less close extended family (ie - cousin you see once a decade) -£500. Close family member (sibling) -£1000

Bollocks to that, £300 gift for a colleague??? A colleague gets between £10-20

Give what you can afford and don't worry about it at all.

Don't pay any attention to people who say they give a lot of money - you've said you're hard up so you obviously can't do that! Your friend would undoubtedly feel terrible if you skinted yourself because of her. She wants you at her wedding because you've become close, not to get a hundred quid out of you.

I’m with @stanski - you cover at least what meal cost plus extra. So less close friend/work colleague £300ish. Close friend/less close extended family (ie - cousin you see once a decade) -£500. Close family member (sibling) -£1000.

Oh bore off, you've read the OP can afford £20 but you're going to helpfully suggest £300-£1000, ignorant pretentious bullshit.

Sorry but people saying £10/20 what physical present that was in any way half decent could you buy for that? £50 minimum I'm afraid unless you want to look really cheap. £75-100 if you're taking a partner.

If you can only afford to give £10 how can you afford to attend the wedding?

Hahahaha £300 for a colleague??!!! No chance. OP I'd give £20 if that's what you can afford and think no more of it. DH and I tend to give £50 at weddings but that's from both of us and it was roughly what friends gave us at our wedding.

I’d probably give £30-£50.

£1000!,

£1k?! Will you come to my wedding please? 😂

I think anything between £20-50 is fine.