To not want to give more

[SummerTime12345]

So a friend is getting married very soon. They have asked for money for their honeymoon - which obviously doesn't bother me if that's what they want!
I just don't know what to give. We have only met this year but have become very close and see each other a couple of times a week. I'm going to the full wedding day and I went on the hen do. But I don't know what to give!
Help!

Why is everything American tacky and the British way the only way? Give a gift you can afford.

That's a tacky and very American way of doing things. Not the norm in the UK at all.

Not sure where you get that idea. How many American weddings have you attended? It’s not the norm in the US.

@SummerTime12345 Give what you can afford. I was grateful for people giving me anything for my wedding, as they had thought of me and my then husband. Cost if the wedding was because that’s what we wanted.

£50.

At our wedding the vast majority of guests gave £50 per couple.

£50 I think is the norm, more for close family. I couldn’t imagine putting £10-£20 in a card for a wedding present!

@ScotsinOz so your husband's 5 x siblings @ £1k each x 2 = £10,000 in wedding gift cash?! Mind blown.

OP, give what you can comfortably afford and enjoy the day. Do not feel guilty.

Obviously does depend on what you can afford. Agree that £50 sounds about right though.

I'd just base it on roughly what I'd spend on a gift, which is usually £40-50. Any more than that (to me) would be very over the top.

@SummerTime12345 ignore these people who seem to have a lot more money than sense!

Your friends want you there - they don't care about the money and would be grateful for anything.

£20 is absolutely enough if that's your limit. Don't feel guilty. Have a wonderful time!

I think £50 of you see each other a lot. Most people don't factor in money as gifts to off set tge cisr if their wedding. They just hope it will help with the honeymoon.

Also sorry to derail the thread. But @ScotsinOz it is hilarious that you manage to shoe horn another stealth boast into your 'defence' regarding owning several rental properties. It's really cringe.

£30-£50

My Chinese SiL explained that giving what your meal cost is the norm for Chinese weddings.
However in the UK you give what you choose and can afford. When we got married this year we were gifted anything between £20 to £250....and were extremely grateful for this. (Weddings can be expensive with travel and outfits...we would rather a friend saved their budget for a cab home and enjoyed the day than gave it to us).

It seems to be Australian custom to cover your cost at the wedding, so the guide is at least AUD150 per person. Different approaches... I never expected to recoup the cost of my UK wedding from the guests.

Playftseforme, definitely not the norm in Australia. I have never heard of covering the cost plus more. I agree with a PP- the idea that those who choose to throw lavish weddings deserve more than a couple who choose a simple backyard do is just tacky.

I’d just give what you’d have spent on a present, and at our wedding most single people gave about £30 and couples £50-100. Write something meaningful in a card too and all good, whatever you put. If they are that grabby, they are rubbish friends!

I usually give roughly AUD$100 each from hubby and I. So AUD$200

Just done the conversions. That’s £54 each

For a family wedding I tend towards £30-£50 per head of my family attending. We are a family of 5 so that means £150 to £250 depending on what we can afford at the time.

For a non family (eg work colleague) wedding invitation I send a polite decline and £50.

For a friend then you give what you can afford.

Nice bit of casual anti-Americanism there from a PP

OP, I find this idea that you're supposed to cover your plate, or whatever the expression is, unpleasant and a bit bizarre. A gift is a gift, given out of love and joy for the couple, not payment, and a wedding is hospitality, held to share joy, not a paid event. I would feel wretched if anyone gave me a gift they couldn't comfortably afford because of some airy declaration, from someone who won't suffer from the deprivation caused, that it was the done thing.

Should ad I am speaking very from my (UK/European) culture and not denigrating any others where this might be the norm, presumably for sound historical reasons.

@BuildBuildings. The reason I added my comment about property was to demonstrate further how anyone prosperous (or even ever so slightly better off than someone else) on MN is met with vitriol and your comment just proves it further. I was raised to be happy for others good fortune or success rather than bitter. Unfortunately a lot of MN posters suffer from tall poppy syndrome.

£20-50 for a friend / cousin and up to £250 for close family member.
I have never heard of covering the cost of your meal and find it a odd suggestion. The B&G choose what they want to spend on their celebration and are your hosts. As it is guests are often out of pocket with travel costs, babysitters, accommodation and sometimes a new outfit. You are giving them a present . Traditionally people would have given some towels or table mats or something.like that for a friend ; expensive presents are a bit embarrassing. No need whatsoever for squeezing your budget. Your hosts will just be pleased that you have made the effort to come to share their day.

OP I think @yikesanotherbooboo is exactly right. Some of the amounts on here are unfeasible unless you're on a large income. Weddings are expensive to attend and I'd hope that the bride and groom were happy with people's presence rather than seeing cash gifts as a way of recouping what they've spent on food for guests. Nobody has to have a big wedding, it's something they've chosen so don't feel guilty that they have chosen to spend their money inviting you.

You don't have to give anything at all.

Give what you can afford or what you’d have spent if you’d been buying a physical gift. Your friend will probably have a fairly good idea of what you can afford because they will know what job you do and your family circumstances.

Personally I’d be unlikely to afford more than £50 for a closer friend. Just depends on individual circumstances. People paying £500 plus are likely moving in circles where they are high earners!

£20-50 depending on what you can afford.