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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
Elodie2019 · 06/10/2019 22:28

What a faff. You've done the right thing OP!
No way would I share a journey that long with a couple and their baby never mind all the palaver re.cost.

Original poster
stickeritup · 06/10/2019 22:32

One bank account, but two salaries maybe?

Oh yes.

OP posts:
fedup21 · 06/10/2019 22:36

Oh yes

I hope you said that!

Original poster
stickeritup · 06/10/2019 22:39

I didn't, because I would still think it should be thirds even if their household only had one salary going in.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 06/10/2019 22:40

If he is still going on about it bet his wife is annoyed at the extra £100 they now have to find .
Still thing he was stuffing you on the petrol as well, as hire cars are new and do over 50 to the gallon on long runs.

daffydowndilys · 06/10/2019 22:51

It will be a horrendous journey.

Why don't you drive and maybe even offer to take one or two bits of luggage for them?

I wouldn't drive that with my own child let alone someone else's.

emilyzbx · 06/10/2019 22:53

Petrol will be split 50/50 too.. from what I imagine, they see themselves as "1" which I can see their point..

But I think you're going to get very annoyed sitting in the back most likely with their kid who you will end up entertaining while mummy and daddy in the front have nice chats..

I would go by myself and then they can take their own car lol?

Original poster
stickeritup · 06/10/2019 22:55

Why don't you drive and maybe even offer to take one or two bits of luggage for them?

Yes, this is exactly what I have done.

OP posts:
TheFatberg · 06/10/2019 22:56

29 pages and some posters unable to comprehend that things may have moved on since page 1.

Original poster
stickeritup · 06/10/2019 22:59

they see themselves as "1" which I can see their point..

Just out of interest, in what way can you see their point? Two married people are still two people.

OP posts:
NitrousOxide · 06/10/2019 23:13

I’d love to know if your cousin and his wife would be happy receiving one birthday present between them. And not a present that’s the equivalent of two separate gifts. One box of chocolates, or one DVD, or one gig ticket. Between them. Because couples are one unit.

I haven’t read every single non-OP comment, but I haven’t seen any poster who thinks a couple equals one unit actually address this point.

jackstini · 06/10/2019 23:18

Think you have handled brilliantly with cousin

But - you are going to be utterly knackered at this wedding with all that driving!

Flights are only about £60. Hire a car from the airport when you arrive to drive to the venue? Faster, cheaper, not tiring...

Original poster
stickeritup · 06/10/2019 23:26

Flights are only about £60.

It's a 2 hour drive to Exeter Airport then it would be another 2 hour drive from Inverness Airport to the wedding venue.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 06/10/2019 23:30

I still think yore mad leaving the cottage option open for them-but then you know himbetter than we do

Freyanna · 07/10/2019 02:27

Glad to hear you have stood your ground with your Cousin, he really is quite ridiculous.

OhioOhioOhio · 07/10/2019 03:04

Omg. I'm so pleased you are not paying for their share.

Apolloanddaphne · 07/10/2019 03:51

I wonder at which point they will decide they don't want to drive all the way in one go and decide to stop over as you already planned? When is the wedding OP?

Butterymuffin · 07/10/2019 03:56

NitrousOxide - yes, how many of these posters would argue that couples should only pay for the cost of one meal in a restaurant? Or one train / bus / cinema ticket between them, because they're a unit?

prettybird · 07/10/2019 09:31

I'm sure if they'd flown, the airline would totally have accepted his argument that the two of them should only pay for one ticket and get two on the basis that they only have one bank account HmmConfused

CraftyYankee · 07/10/2019 12:28

Having just read the full thread in one go, I was vaguely amused to find myself on the bus for ten minutes with a toddler singing the wheels on the bus. After ten minutes I was ready to jump out several stops early. You have definitely dodged a bullet, putting aside the CF maths! 😁

RainyG · 07/10/2019 12:43

I can understand wanting to stay on the holiday. Feeling shit in the sun might be better than feeling shit in the cold and rain.

But I can't understand wanting to stay in the same apartment as him and making things harder on yourself.

I believe OP said money wasn't the issue with going to another hotel so it's choice to stay with him and agonise herself further.

AnotherEmma · 07/10/2019 17:27

A toddler singing the wheels on the bus on a bus (where they can move around and have a cuddle or a snack if they want one) is infinitely preferable to a toddler crying, stuck in their car seat in a car on the motorway with no exit in sight.

Just saying.

alwaysmovingforwards · 07/10/2019 17:39

Just make your own way there.
Problem solved.

Mephisto · 07/10/2019 19:06

@alwaysmovingforwards

Just make your own way there.
Problem solved

Wow! Why didn't anyone think of that?! You're a genius @always

spoonyJoe · 07/10/2019 19:52

I can't believe it took 723 posts before someone thought of driving there by themselves. What a great idea! Confused