To think I should pay 1/3?

[stickeritup]

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

Ah so what. You've saved £20. Totally worth falling out with your cousin over. Bargain. Eh. How have I fallen out with them? And I haven't saved £20, I'm spending more now.

Told cousin that that was fine & did he still want me to take his suitcase & suit.

A twelve and a bit hour journey, with a one year old, who shouldn't be in the car seat for more than 2 hours at a time, so at least half a dozen stops of 15-20 mins each minimum equates to 14-15 hours driving in a single stretch?

Yeah, good luck to them with that.

Told cousin that that was fine & did he still want me to take his suitcase & suit.

@stickeritup 😁😁 You rock!!

None of my business, stickeritup, but are you still going to stop over in the same place in the Lakes by yourself, or will you change to somewhere for just a single person? Your cousin seems a bit demanding! I think you've made the right decision on all fronts!

Haha what CFs. Should be split 3 ways. They are in lala land if they think they can drive it in a day. We done a 7 hour drive down south which took 10 hours and 4 stops. That was with a 5 month old who slept a lot of the way and didn't require much entertainment/distractions.

A twelve and a bit hour journey, with a one year old, who shouldn't be in the car seat for more than 2 hours at a time, so at least half a dozen stops of 15-20 mins each minimum equates to 14-15 hours driving in a single stretch?

It won’t happen. This is a ‘people are not doing what I want so I’ll stamp my foot and threaten to deprive them of my company if they don’t change their mind. Sticker should put me and DD first and she’ll be so upset we’re not going to the Lakes & Lomond that she’ll change her mind.’ I won’t, he’ll realise that, and by the end of next week I’ll hear from him again saying ‘actually Sticker, I’ve hurt my big toe so the doctor says I can’t drive for more than 6 hours at a time so we will be coming to the Lakes after all! Can’t wait! PS. I’m outside yours now with my case.’

He does it frequently. He’s the baby of the family and I love him, but he is prone to tantrums that absolutely no one takes any notice of and they blow over in days.

Also breakfast/lunch/dinner for a one year old can take AGES. you made the right decision I think.

None of my business, stickeritup, but are you still going to stop over in the same place in the Lakes by yourself, or will you change to somewhere for just a single person?

I’ve got the accommodation booked on Booking.com on a ‘cancel for free till X date’, so I’ll keep the original booking live and also book another place with just one room, and cancel whichever isn’t needed in a couple of weeks.

Aha, a woman after my own heart! Isn't booking.com great for that!

sticker you rock. That is all.

So if the OP isn't in the car to entertain the 1yo, they'll do the journey in one straight hit? Now you know why they wanted you to travel with them!

Skipping a 12 hour ride with a baby is worth any price.

We had to do it with dd when we moved. She screamed constantly. We would finally get her to sleep and then we couldn’t risk stopping no matter how full our bladders got. At one point I was showing her age inappropriate music videos because that is all we had at the moment in terms of screens and we just needed to find something to distract her. (Turns out my 1yo favored Avril Lavigne played very loudly)

So it is a sports car and your cousin has a small saloon type car. Your fuel costs are going to be more than his. Perhaps, but so what?

Well, the RAC fuel cost calculator uses the make and model of the car to calculate fuel costs so if it said it would cost £127 to do 701 miles, that means you car has an mpg of about 30. His saloon car probably has an mpg of at least 60mpg, most likely even more. The hire car probably has a similar mpg.

Therefore:

Separate travel
Your cost in your car = £254
CF cost in their car = £127

Hire Car
Cost of hire car and petrol = £247

Split 50:50 that's £123.50
You save £130.50
They save £3.50

Split in 3 that's £82
You save £172
They pay £37 more than travelling in their own car

So it would cost them £37 for the privilege of taking one extra suitcase. Ryan Air don't charge that much! Yet you are getting 68% saving on what it would cost you travel alone. Is that fair?

Presumably now they aren't doing a 3 day journey with stop offs to sightsee they don't need so much luggage so they probably don't even need that extra suitcase.

I'm not sure I would fancy sharing a car with a toddler on that journey but, on the other hand, you said yourself you enjoy your cousin's company despite his cheeky fuckery and you've done yourself out of what could have been a fun short break. And depsite his track record, I don't think he was being that cheeky this time once you look at the numbers.

I bet they would have you in the back most of the way entertaining the toddler too 😂

you've done yourself out of what could have been a fun short break

She really hasn't! 😂

Perhaps runout you should send your extensive calculations on to the OP's cousin as he clearly thought he was onto a good thing with sharing a hire car with the OP given his continued outbursts....

She really hasn't.

Yep, I remember a long car journey with my baby dd very vividly.

runout just because splitting the costs of the hire car amongst the three adults means the couple don't really save much extra money does not mean the costs should be split 50/50 to make the savings bigger for the couple.

The couple just need to make a decision if the savings are enough for them. If it's not, then that's not OPs problem. She's not there to foot extra savings to give to the couple (though clearly you and CF are trying very hard to do this). They already save costs by having the advantage of being in a couple and being able to share the costs of one car. They are ahead of OP with cost savings before they even hire a car. OP has to pay the cost of her car entirely on her own.

sticker you rock. That is all. Thank you! I didn't expect such flattery when I started this thread.

I also didn't expect it to run into 600+ posts. I was out for a drink with my friends yesterday evening & I took great pride in telling them I had a Mumsnet thread running into the hundreds, they were utterly bemused and didn't give a toss really impressed!

I’ll keep the original booking live and also book another place with just one room, and cancel whichever isn’t needed in a couple of weeks

Why do you insist on pandering to this man-child?
Just cancel the booking and HE can book last minute accommodation if he changes his mind once he;'s stopped sulking.
It's no wonder he's like this if you all just humour him.

The couple have two incomes to OP's one. They would take up at least 3/4 of the car if they travelled in one car. I don't see how OP paying half could ever be fair. To probably end up wedged in the back with the baby when she wasn't driving.

FWIW I'd do one overnight stop at a halfway point and then just have a nice long midday stop during the second leg.

Wow sticker, what CFs and you’ve handled it with aplomb!! I would totally cancel the two room accommodation and then when he ‘changes his mind’ he can go ahead and find a separate booking for him and CF wife! I bet that’ll cost them more as well than shared accommodation!

Well done OP,

You appear to have the measure of your cousin and at least now you have clarification that most people would cycle rather than do hours in the back of the car with a young child.

My children would barely do a two hour for the first few years with getting extremely antsy!

Sticker your CF is pulling another fast one on you...
£254. For 1400 miles. At 130p a litre means he thinks the hire car does 32 miles a gallon .
If your car does 46mpg your fuel is £180 for the trip
If the hire car does 55mpg the the fuel is £150 for the trip.