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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should pay 1/3?

744 replies

stickeritup · 01/10/2019 19:37

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

OP posts:
runoutofnamechanges · 03/10/2019 17:54

@OrchidInTheSun I have taken that into account.

Journey in hire car split by 3
Cost to OP: £124 saving her £130
Cost to CFs: £249 saving them £5 hmm

Surely that is also cheeky fuckery for OP to expect to take 97% of the savings made, and reduce her driving time by 50% when they only reduce their driving time by a third? Even though it now seems they can't fit all their stuff in their car, it's only a suitcase and a suit, which will cost the OP nothing in money or inconvenience to take so hardly justification to take all the savings from car sharing for herself.

The OP said it's just a case and a suit that the CFs can't fit in but she could probably take them. It would be pretty mean of her not to do that small favour for them. It's not like they need to hire a car because they don't have enough seats. Is it really fair to justify OP saving £130 when they save only £5 because she theoretically saved them £120 to hire a car when she could save them that same £120 by taking one bag in her car at no cost to her?

Although I can't imagine how much stuff they must be taking that they can't fit it all in. We used to do long weekends away when the DC were little in a 2 + 2 sports car with a tiny boot and managed to fit in a buggy, toys and luggage for 4, including suits and hats for weddings. You just need to use soft luggage and suit carriers for things that will crease.

Molly2017 · 03/10/2019 17:54

Just catching up on the thread from yesterday. I would have replied ‘why am I paying for half the cost of the car and petrol when there are 4 of us going?’.
You’ve made the right decision OP. Our PFB was always sick in the car seat on long journeys. Always. Swerved a bullet there.

FatimaLovesBread · 03/10/2019 17:54

What the hell kind of car is he driving to get those fuel costs? I've just done Bristol to Inverness estimate in my car with a lower mpg that I'd probably get and that comes out at £73 one way

OrchidInTheSun · 03/10/2019 17:57

Yes of course it's cheaper for the OP @Gogreen. But it's not fair that she should pay half. And because they insisted she pay half, she's now going to drive herself so CF cousin and his family will be squashed into their tiny car with a screaming baby, nursery rhymes on repeat and bags and stuff crammed into every available space. While the OP will be speeding up the motorway in her glorious two seater singing along with her favourite songs.

Whereas if the CF cousin had said they'd split the cost 3 ways, she'd have gone along with it.

So their meanness has made their journey a bit more miserable and hers more joyous. And they're all losing out financially.

Treesthemovie · 03/10/2019 18:07

Why are you assuming its a sports car gogreen, doesn't sound like it is. There is no such thing as two people travelling as one, ops cousin wants op to entertain their toddler and pay half for taking up 1/4 of the space.

OrchidInTheSun · 03/10/2019 18:12

I'd be pretty mean to people who tried to split the costs of 3 people's meal 50:50 because two of them happen to be married

runoutofnamechanges · 03/10/2019 18:16

Treesthemovie OP has said her car is a 2 seater. The only 2 seater that is not a sports car is a Smart car so on balance of probability it is probably a sports car.

Original poster
stickeritup · 03/10/2019 18:30

I'm bemused at the RAC saying fuel is £127 each way. Bristol to Inverness is 527 miles; presumably there are extra miles either end as we don't have precise destinations but still, my old Zafira gets nearly 500 miles on one tankful which costs under £60

According to Google maps it's exactly 701 miles (and 12 hour 2 minute journey. I have no idea where the 9 hour idea came from. I've read through my own posts a couple of times to see if I've typed it accidentally, but I haven't.) I'm going to do 6.5 hours on day 1, 3 on day 2, and 2hr40 on day 3. That's the theory before traffic and stops, anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
stickeritup · 03/10/2019 18:32

And whoever asked about the accommodation (I can't find the comment any more), we're sharing a cottage at the Lakes & Loch Lomond. We are halving that cost, but I felt that more reasonable because it's 2 bedrooms and I'm having half of the rooms in this case and the en suite since I'll be there first.

OP posts:
Original poster
stickeritup · 03/10/2019 18:39

Treesthemovie OP has said her car is a 2 seater. The only 2 seater that is not a sports car is a Smart car so on balance of probability it is probably a sports car.

It is a sports car!

For those who asked, I don't know what kind of car my cousin has, I'm not good with car models, but it doesn't look small from the outside but the boot door doesn't diagonal down, it's just flat and the boot is tiny.

OP posts:
mumofwildthings · 03/10/2019 19:14

50:50 - you are 2 different family groups (albeit you are a family of 1)

Vulpine · 03/10/2019 19:17

So you'd split the bill in a restaurant 50 50 for the same number of people?

MRex · 03/10/2019 19:23

Say you get only 40 miles per gallon and your trip is 800 miles. That's 20 gallons of petrol, £5.45/gallon = £109. His rate does look a bit high.

runoutofnamechanges · 03/10/2019 19:40

So it is a sports car and your cousin has a small saloon type car. Your fuel costs are going to be more than his.

HundredMilesAnHour · 03/10/2019 19:49

So it is a sports car and your cousin has a small saloon type car. Your fuel costs are going to be more than his.

Her fuel costs may be more but she doesn't have to pay for a hire car, she doesn't get stuck in a car with a young child, she gets to stop when she wants (or not stop as the case may be) and she has her own choice of music and temperature. By far she has the better deal!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 03/10/2019 20:12

How can you justify splitting restaurant bills 50:50 amongst 3 adults? That's absolutely ludicrous! Equally, if two of the three adults involved are the parents of children eating children's meals, they, and nobody else, should also bear the cost of the their own children's food, as well as their own meals individually, so again, there is no way it should be split 50:50 "by family". How ridiculous to even consider that.
I'm fuming and this is nothing to do with me. How entitled are these people arguing it's 50:50 for 3 adults!

monkeymonkey2010 · 03/10/2019 20:15

I'm having half of the rooms in this case and the en suite since I'll be there first
Thank God for small mercies! Grin

I wonder if they'll try to complain about paying 50% for a room that has no en suite.....

WhataLovelyPear · 03/10/2019 20:21

For those doubting the capacity of cousin's car, I have a Toyota Aygo. The boot will just about take two carry on size suitcases, or one large one. When I do the weekly shop I have use the back seat as well so I can easily believe a trip like that with toddler paraphernalia would be too much for one car.

Original poster
stickeritup · 03/10/2019 20:26

So it is a sports car and your cousin has a small saloon type car. Your fuel costs are going to be more than his. Perhaps, but so what?

I'm fuming and this is nothing to do with me. Grin I'm pleased to have your support though!

Cousin had thrown a huff. 'Hi Sticker, just been talking this over with DW and we may just drive straight through to [the venue] and get all the driving over in one go. Can you still cancel the bookings without charge?'

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 03/10/2019 20:29

Hahahaha

AnotherEmma · 03/10/2019 20:30

Good luck to him driving all the way there in one go with a 1yo Grin

reginafelangee · 03/10/2019 20:33

Cousin had thrown a huff.*

Ah so what. You've saved £20. Totally worth falling out with your cousin over. Bargain. Eh.

PerkingFaintly · 03/10/2019 20:44

Ooh, is this huff an attempt to get out of paying for the stopovers?

Then they'll change their minds and turn up at the last minute? "Because you've paid for them anyway so it makes no difference?"

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 03/10/2019 20:53

reginafelangee - rather, cousin and wife have been hoist by their own petard and are cutting off their noses to spite their faces as a result. They are going to have a horrendous journey travelling that distance all in one day, unless they use illegal means to knock out their child. They are at fault, not the OP.

category12 · 03/10/2019 20:53

All that way in one with a baby? Christ.

Are you sure they're parents?