To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?

[SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens]

I genuinely don't know whether I am being unreasonable or not. Nearly every day a man has taken to sitting directly on my garden wall whilst he seemingly waits for someone to pick him up.

He did it this morning again, I banged on the window, but he didn't even flinch! Only got up when I was taking my son outside to put him in his taxi with escort to school.

Should I tell him off next time he does it? Or just leave him be? I feel really weird about it (but I do have anxiety disorder so it might just be me)

I'd go out and sit on the wall before he gets there, just for the fun of it.🙂

I had a woman stroll up my drive engrossed in her phone conversation, she was sitting on my living room windowsill when I knocked on the window. She dismissed me with a flappy hand & went back to her conversation.

I think I'd have grabbed the kids' supersoakers and made good use of them.

I've had three broken limbs, two sets of stitches and one concussion in the children whose over entitled parents encourage to walk on my garden wall. They've damaged the mortar so bricks have come off at the end.

The piss heads sitting there during the day for a drink were equally unwelcome, as were the addicts trying a new pick up point for their dealer.

Just having a rest is fine when it's somebody in their eighties - but I've not seen one yet.

Watering the window boxes and accidentally covering the wall with water reduces the occurrences, though - as does any plant that attracts Bees or has prickles.

You don't say is he is an old man looking for somewhere to rest which might just tip the balance in his favour.

Your wall isn't a bench and if it falls over he's not going to fix it.

Tell him not to sit there.

There is a bus stop outside my house and we have a wooden fence that is waist high. Kids regularly sit on the fence and look affronted when I ask them to move, the little shits. So we put plastic non snagging spikes along the top to deter them.

Wouldn’t bother me but as iit does you (but you don’t want to speak to him, just put up a sign

You banged on the window and then hid? Okay. Maybe next time go out and say “Can I help you?”.

The hiding is why I suggested a (passive aggressive) sign ...

Why would the OP be 'unkind' and horrible to have her anxiety triggered by someone sitting on her wall when she is a) the one fully responsible for any damage or it having to be fixed and b) it is her property and it bothers her?

As a perimenopausal woman who has developed anxiety issues, I find I have quite a bit of sympathy for OP. It is her wall and NOT a public convenience. She is not complaining about someone sitting on a public bench out front of her house. Fair cop I'd say.

Sorry OP, I am the perimenopausal woman who has developed anxiety issues, not you....

Imagine having so few things to worry about that THIS would bother you.

Imagine thinking it’s impossible for someone to have plenty of things to worry about and still not to want someone to sit on their wall.

Is it really that big a deal to let another human sit for a few minutes?

I could not care less who or what is on my garden wall. Often there are cats sitting on there, sometimes children, sometimes my disabled neighbour etc. It has zero impact on me, my family or my house.

If her anxiety is triggered by it, then yes it might be. She might be being triggered because she feels unsafe for whatever reason.

Is it so hard to have some compassion for someone being triggered? More than someone who may or may not be just lazy?

Winalaot if anxiety is turning you (one) into a cow, it might be time to treat the anxiety. Unless the truth is that you've always been a bit of a cow and the anxiety is just a convenient cover.

I heard a story of a man, who was so angry about people sitting on his wall while they were waiting at the bus stop outside his house that he took the wall down. The people started sitting on his porch.

People sometimes sit on my wall. It doesn't bother me.

Thank you @BarbariansMum. You are obviously very kind and not judgemental at all.

I can't believe the amount of posters who think personally attacking me and my anxiety is okay.

Shame on you.

And fuck this guy, I have poured golden syrup on my wall, so if he does it again before the next time it rains, he'll get a sticky arse. He is a young fit man, who can sit somewhere fucking well else, he sat there before and my partner went back to check the door was locked and he didn't even move, he was like haha, did you forget something? WHAT THE FUCK get off my wall you loon.

I have poured golden syrup on my wall, so if he does it again before the next time it rains, he'll get a sticky arse

Course you did 🙄

I could not care less who or what is on my garden wall. Often there are cats sitting on there, sometimes children, sometimes my disabled neighbour etc. It has zero impact on me, my family or my house.
Sensible.
I have poured golden syrup on my wall
Not sensible.

You wall will now get covered in flies and will eventually be maggot ridden, with all that syrup.

That's karma 😎

The man may have a bad back- particularly if he has a manual job.

You poured golden syrup on your wall?! This is ridiculous. This kind of thing appears on programmes like 'Britains Worst Neighbours'. Just ask your husband to speak to the man. Or ask a friend to go out and speak to the man.

No I didn't really, but that got you all pearl clutching again didn't it.

This website is pathetic.

As long as he’s not damaging your wall, throwing litter or fag ends into your garden, flobbing on the pavement Or similar antisocial behaviour I don’t see the issue.

This website is pathetic.

Says the poster asking for advice on a man sitting on her wall.....

Or leave him to rest for his five minutes.