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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?

248 replies

SierraHotelIndiaTangoHappens · 01/10/2019 10:57

I genuinely don't know whether I am being unreasonable or not. Nearly every day a man has taken to sitting directly on my garden wall whilst he seemingly waits for someone to pick him up.

He did it this morning again, I banged on the window, but he didn't even flinch! Only got up when I was taking my son outside to put him in his taxi with escort to school.

Should I tell him off next time he does it? Or just leave him be? I feel really weird about it (but I do have anxiety disorder so it might just be me)

OP posts:
Winesalot · 01/10/2019 14:59

No, I don't think that you are unreasonable to not want people to sit on your wall. Nor do I understand why anyone would think that it would be ok. As a once landscape gardener, I know how dangerous some of these walls are as they get older (and how many shonky ones there are still standing). I would not be taking the risk that I could damage it. I also know that to get someone to come and rebuild it is an expense that I would not like to have to outlay.

If it was bothering me, I would go and ask him nicely to not do it anymore.

BarbariansMum · 01/10/2019 15:04

Winesalot if a wall is in such shocking condition that someone sitting on it for a few minutes could make it tumble, then it needs rebuilding or replacing.

On a separate note, I really wish we could have two types of community - one where people could "keep themselves to themselves" and never have to give another human being the steam from their shit, and one where doing ordinary small kindnesses for others was considered normal and natural. Think how happy everyone would be.

Mummyshark2019 · 01/10/2019 15:08

We get this. Tends to be elderly but its not every day. If yiu dont like it just go out and tell him to not do it.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/10/2019 15:10

Honey! Genius idea. (But golden syrup is cheaper!!)

Either would result in a wall covered with irate drunken wasps.

Which would stop him sitting on it! - Good thinking, that woman!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 01/10/2019 15:12

if a wall is in such shocking condition that someone sitting on it for a few minutes could make it tumble, then it needs rebuilding or replacing.

I don't disagree at all; but in my situation (which is hopefully not usual!), the wall belongs to the freeholder, who is not interested in rebuilding it. We got a quote to do so but they refused to give us permission to have it rebuilt.

We're moving so it won't be our problem soon, but the wall will still be there. They like it because it looks old and in keeping with the Victorian look on the street, but they could have that and a safe wall! I suspect they just don't want to put any money into the house. Their view is very much that if it falls, insurance will cover it.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/10/2019 15:13

What about children walking along the top of the wall?

I actually don't mind this at all.

'Tis one of the great joys of childhood.

PlasticPatty · 01/10/2019 15:15

Accidentally spill something there - powder paint, the stuff they make cement with... anything that will be obvious (so he'll see and avoid it) and not easy to brush off (so if he ignores it once, he won't do that again).

You're not unreasonable to want your wall to be free of randoms.

TheBrockmans · 01/10/2019 15:20

Children used to walk along our wall, they got on at the neighbours wall which was about 3ft, but being on a hill it was nearer 4ft outside ours. They were unsupervised and I was concerned that they could hurt themselves when they jumped down or across to the next wall. The wall was also showing signs of damage and older teenagers would sit and drink on it. We and the neighbours grew a hedge over it and problem solved. I don't think you even need spikey plants, just a tall climber with training string on the wall. You can then ask him to stop sitting there because he might damage the plants.

saltysally · 01/10/2019 15:25

Before you know it he'll be asking to use your loo

Must stop this at once
Biscuit

zingally · 01/10/2019 15:42

Is he hurting, or damaging the wall in any way?

I can totally understand, it's a bit annoying, but really, there are better things to get annoyed about.

If the wall isn't as sturdy as it looks, you could just about get away with a polite notice, on the spot he parks his arse. "This wall is not as sturdy as it looks! Please do not sit on, or lean against. Thanks!"

And if it really bothers you all that much, either go out and speak to him, or take the wall down and replace it with a bit of low fencing.

saltysally · 01/10/2019 15:59

Oh OP said on page 3 she was being unreasonable. Missed that. Sorry op

QuimJongUn · 01/10/2019 18:34

I quite like the ideas of trellises and plants but I'm not sure they'd be enough of a deterrent. Maybe something along the lines of a row of mediaeval pikes, OP? A bit like this?

To ask this man to stop sitting on my garden wall?
StinkyBumFace · 01/10/2019 19:28

Oh for fuck's sake! To those calling me weird or saying my suggestion is weird... it is a piss take. It's called sarcasm. You are all right - don't do it. In fact, you lot have made me feel so stupid that if MNHQ read this, please delete all my comments on this thread. Thanks 🙄

MerryBerryCheesecake · 01/10/2019 19:32

Yeah, like so many posters have suggested, put something nasty on top to wreck his clothes or something sharp like prickly shrubs to injure his flesh too.

Only problem with that is, if someone equally as uptight and indignant as yourself comes along who brushes against said booby trapped wall and gets the brunt of your special measures, you would likely get sued.

Don't sit on MY wall.
Don't stand outside MY house.
Don't park your car near MY house.
Don't do noises near MY house.
Don't look in the general direction of MY house.
Sheesh, people these days.

Or are there just an unusual number of selfish up themselves buggers on Mumsnet.

museumum · 01/10/2019 19:35

I honestly couldn’t care less. If someone needs a wee rest on my wall they are welcome to it. Must be pretty shit being ill/old/disabled and knowing most people are so mean to begrudge a wee bum perching for a moment.

KatherineJaneway · 01/10/2019 19:36

@JacquesHammer

Yes I was fine after they fucked off thanks very much

Aprillygirl · 01/10/2019 19:54

Maybe he has some condition where he can't stand for long periods, or maybe he hasn't. Either way how does him sitting on your wall hurt you exactly? Christ people are so fucking uptight and mean.

bunintheoven88 · 01/10/2019 19:58

Why don't you go outside and strike up a conversation with him? He might have just had a hip replacement/ have a condition/ have sore legs from the gym.
He isn't harming anybody unless his bum crack is visible
🤷🏻‍♀️

feliciabirthgiver · 01/10/2019 20:05

YABU - I just feel so sad this is the world we live in.

StroppyWoman · 01/10/2019 20:18

I'm glad you've accepted YABU, OP.

It's such a small thing to worry about.

Cherrysoup · 01/10/2019 20:24

I had a woman stroll up my drive engrossed in her phone conversation, she was sitting on my living room windowsill when I knocked on the window. She dismissed me with a flappy hand & went back to her conversation. I was hmmgrin.

Jesus, what?! I’d have gone out and started shouting. What a stupid cow!

cheesemumma · 01/10/2019 20:35

Just let the bloke sit there while he waits for a lift. Why on earth is this rude??? Is he damaging the wall? Pissing on your lawn?? God forbid anyone makes someone else's life easier.

BookwormMe2 · 01/10/2019 20:42

Thuglife She walked up your drive for a sit down???

ShirleyPhallus · 01/10/2019 20:46

She walked up your drive for a sit down???

Maybe she thought she’d been invited over for tea a la that thread another poster started ;)

WanderingBar · 01/10/2019 21:29

If the wall is safe, I don't think it would bother me, unless I was wanting to sit on the wall myself.

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