to be upset that my child cant read and nobody cares?

[staydazzling]

had a heartbreaking conversation inthe bath earlier with youngest child 6 yrs old. Ive always known that he has significant reading difficulties and have spent 2 years trying to bring up with the teachers he could benefit from help but i get dismissive replies ranging from he'll get there eventually to hes not the most severe in the class. He was telling me he feels self conscious because he can hardly read at all and is embarrassed to tell anyone, children already whisper when he asks other kids to read a word for him , i empathised and said that must be so frustrating for you. and that people in our family have dyslexia hes not alone. he also gets sounds confuses, another symptom of dyslexia. another complaint he had was they just tell him to sound the word out, but he cant because he gets sounds wrong that broke my heart hes being so badly failed. hes on a low book band at least 5 behind where he should be. i know austerity has desimated our education but, it cannot be right to just abandon a child like that can it? its making me quite teary now, AIBU to be annoyed noone seems to care that my son can barely read?

Hi, my DS got to about eight with the teacher telling me he could read when I knew he couldn't. In the end I taught him myself using the Ruth Miskin books. DS has ASD and shows some dyslexic traits.

I know dyslexia can slow the process but I do think the answer is for you as a parent to keep plugging away at home. Do a bit every night and it will come. Teachers just don't have enough time and resources to do one to one with every child that needs it.

Is he in year 1 or 2 OP? At my school they don’t bother investigating formal diagnoses for dyslexia until ks2 but the teacher should at the very least be sensitive to his anxieties and worries about this. Have you been able to speak with them? There are interventions that can and should be run, despite austerity, if the school is worth its salt. However, they might be waiting for a bit to get them started. But the teacher would be able to explain how it all works in their setting. You should have parents evening coming up so you could discuss it then? Hope it gets better for him and he gets proper support soon.

Oh OP that’s so sad, your poor little boy. Hope you can get some help

Nobody will ever care about your child as much as you do. Plus teachers aren’t trained in dyslexia. So I’m afraid you’ll need to teach him.

I highly recommend Dyslexia Gold (dyslexiagold.co.uk/)

I think children with dyslexia can struggle with phonics. It might be worth looking in to memorising whole words certainly the 1st 100 high frequency words and then the next hundred. Lots and lots of repetition and lots small blasts of teaching these words.

I agree you will need to teach him.
That’s how things are these days unfortunately.

Oh my goodness! I could have actually posted this myself this evening. I have a seven year old in exactly the same position, I've started to really worry that he will leave school unable to read/write. It's such a slog, we spend about 45 mins a day doing extra work, to no avail, I cannot see progress. School have taken a 'wait and see' approach. I completely feel your worry, just wanted you to know that you're not the only one :(

If I were you, I’d post in the special needs section of this board, where you are likely to get good advice.

I could cry for you and shed many tears when my now adult son needed peripatetic teaching . The trouble was my son could read, despite being die as both dyslexic and dyspraxic.

Demand a meeting with head teacher and ask for him to be assessed and see senco .
It is his right. I did a few desperate things years ago to fight for help. Things are easier now . But I do remember sitting in headmasters office for hours until he co operated. Wishing you both well

Poor boy. What’s it like when you read with him each evening? Is there anything else you can do like have you done lots of work consolidating the basic sounds if he struggles with that? Have you requested assessment for additional needs?

I hear you. This is my 7 year old DS. It breaks my heart daily.

its just a very dismissive response all round almost as if im. exaggerating and well he knows some words, woop de doo!!! so how will he cope with y3 work next year then pray tell?? the thing is, i wouldn't know of any of those resources some brill ppl on here have posted, wouldn't have a clue no one has told me, just dismissal theres an issue.

It's not that school wont bother before KS2 ut the tests they have for it wont be accurate before KS2. However the teacher should be aware and be supporting him. If you go back to the teacher and get nothing escalate above them to find out what is being done to support him. Poor boy. I would not want a child to feel like that in my class. Also the word reading would really help him. Play lots of games like pairs or kkms game with the 1st 100 words plus I'm sure there are apps.

I understand, my DD couldn’t until she was 7, she’s at Durham Uni now, don’t give in to despair, honestly.

Make sure he knows it’s not his fault, that you’re on his side, that you’re going to help him. Make it fun, don’t labour over it when he’s tired or fed up. Build his confidence by finding things he likes doing , puzzles, wordsearch, make lists, read signs, make treasure maps, have the subtitles on when he’s watching tv. Encourage him to learn to type using the online resources for children.
Read him stories, above all.
Use all the practical dyslexia support you can find.
Come down like a ton of bricks on anyone who threatens his confidence, be his champion.

As others have said, I find school don't really look at it until year 3 onwards as there are so many who do grownout of it by then.

Problem is that by then, the damage is done, they are behind and confidence/enjoyment is destroyed so it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

Having had years of battles ourselves but no dyslexia diagnosis I will ensure that the teacher knows of the struggles and that confidence needs building and also that you expect regular dialogue over what can be worked on at home and what's going on and identify the strengths to big up regularly.

Look at the book toe by toe (can't remember the exact name so may have that wrong) - i know of many people who have found it invaluable
Buy the Nessy app (think it's about £10) - brill for doing stuff on their own with no pressure around them.
Speak with your local library - ours have a dyslexia friendly section which has opened up the library to my eldest.
Read up on techniques and guide school on
whatbworks for your child.

Finally, don't stress, easier said than done but child will pick up on it, lots of reward for trying, eventually aiming to get to the laughing about it stage. My eldest did sats and didn't meet the requirements to pass, he didn't ever expect to and would laugh at the whole system (helps he got above for maths so he had a success) and his inability to spell etc.

Depending upon your finances you can get a private dyslexia diagnosis and support. But I would also suggest trying to help him as much at home as possible. Do your school offer phonics workshops for parents to aid you to support him? If the class teacher isn’t supportive have you tried to arrange a meeting with the head or SEN coordinator?

Oh this made me tear up a little bit. Hugs to you both. I'm in the same boat with DD. I'm ramping up her learning at home because in all honesty I think they are too stretched at school. So on buses, in cars, during walks, in shops, I'm pointing out words to her and luckily she's now pointing them out to me and saying them back (helps her speech delay too). I'm sure you're doing the same and I'd say keep doing what extra you can for your boy.

Poor boy. What’s it like when you read with him each evening? Is there anything else you can do like have you done lots of work consolidating the basic sounds if he struggles with that? Have you requested assessment for additional needs? its slow and obviously a struggle, even on biff and kipper books every single word he has to break down and sound out, there's no flow at all, its painful and sad tbh yeah thats something ive been trying for 3 years he displays ASD and PDA aswell. I

This happened with my son . We went all round the houses with hearing tests, speech and language referral etc . Turned out by year 3 someone finally piped up - has he had an eye sight test recently? He was massively longsighted. School was embarrassed and shocked as was I . Hyperopia can be easily missed if no screening in school . I had no idea as in the early days he could see the large print in biff and chip , follow phonics on the board, point out planes in the sky . It was soo obvious when we looked back . Get eyesight tested . He reads fine now !

Start researching Ed Psychs or clinical psychologists (specialism in SpLDs, ASD, ADD, ADHD etc...) in your area.

As soon as your DS turns 7 (the min age for dyslexia testing), get him tested.

Do not be fobbed off with either a program of help from class teacher or learning support.
What they offer may not be enough or suitable. Until you have a diagnosis (or not) whatever help they offer is not guaranteed.

Do not accept an online test. These are not diagnostic and are not recommended by the British Dyslexia Assoc.

If school offer a test, ask if the person administering the test is qualified to administer, score and diagnose & what diagnostic tests they are using.

I agree with pp re the 100 high frequency words. Some DC have very poor phonic awareness (like my DS). Phonics didn’t work for him but the ‘old fashioned’ learn the word/beginnings/endings did.

Come over to the SEND boards. Lots of friendly, knowledgable parents who can help.

I hear you too, OP

Toe by Toe saved our DD's confidence, a formal diagnosis boosted it and now very specific help is making her flourish. But it's sadly been years of nagging and looking and sounding like 'that' parent and constantly questioning yourself.

Do not let your son be fobbed off with the 'he'll get there comments'. If it bothers him, it's an issue. Is he receiving any interventions??

I second the Nessy suggestion. I could have written your post 6months ago, but DS has come on so so much since he’s been using the Nessy app every day. His school has said they’d done “the dyslexia tests” but DS wasn’t. Only after I pushed and pushed, did they grudgingly suggest that they “usually recommend Nessy for children with dyslexia, but it wouldn’t do any harm for DS, even though he’s not dyslexic” I’ve subsequently found out that the tests they did aren’t accurate for the under 7s and DS was only just 6 so there’s no way they could be so definitive.

I have no connection to Nessy other than as a subscriber, but DS really really enjoys it, it seems very effective and I like the fact it’s a structured system so takes away the fear for me that I’m teaching him “wrong” and potentially making matters worse.

I was about to post the same as florintina
My son is severely dyslexic and has dyspraxia and I paid for a private report that the school couldn’t ignore
Once I had that my son had support from age 5 right the way through to sixth form
He also went once a week to specialist tutor /school that specialised in Dyslexia which I paid for privately
if you can get the money somewhere then getting a private report is the way to go
I think it was an educational psychologist that my son had to see .But once we had the report he as getting support from his school within weeks

Oh OP, he's so lucky to have a mum like you who really notices what is going on with him and cares about him. I know it feels depressing but that is the most important thing -- you know what's going on and you are going to champion him.

I think you might need specialist dyslexia advice; can you push for a referral for assessment from the school SENCO or educational psychologist? If you mention that you have dyslexia in the family and that his traits seem very familiar they should take it seriously.

I'm not sure it will help but my DD was also very behind with her reading and we have been doing an app/website called Reading Eggs. It is very gentle and enjoyable and has helped her a lot -- it makes it feel like a game and helps them to get comfortable with the building blocks of language and go at their own pace. We found it extremely helpful in building her confidence and giving her positive reinforcement around what she could do rather than anxious about what she couldn't.

Oh, the thing above (Nessy) sounds brilliant and dyslexia-specific too!