to be upset that my child cant read and nobody cares?

[staydazzling]

had a heartbreaking conversation inthe bath earlier with youngest child 6 yrs old. Ive always known that he has significant reading difficulties and have spent 2 years trying to bring up with the teachers he could benefit from help but i get dismissive replies ranging from he'll get there eventually to hes not the most severe in the class. He was telling me he feels self conscious because he can hardly read at all and is embarrassed to tell anyone, children already whisper when he asks other kids to read a word for him , i empathised and said that must be so frustrating for you. and that people in our family have dyslexia hes not alone. he also gets sounds confuses, another symptom of dyslexia. another complaint he had was they just tell him to sound the word out, but he cant because he gets sounds wrong that broke my heart hes being so badly failed. hes on a low book band at least 5 behind where he should be. i know austerity has desimated our education but, it cannot be right to just abandon a child like that can it? its making me quite teary now, AIBU to be annoyed noone seems to care that my son can barely read?

The Ed psych didn’t spot the eyesight problem in my sons case.

I'm a tutor who has worked with youngsters struggling with reading. Toe by Toe is a great book but probably too densely for a Year 2. I'd get the dancing bear books, start right from the beginning but don't worry about reading the story pages as they are rather bizarre!

I got a SN tutor for a child I foster and who could not read at 7. At 13 he can now read and still has his tutor for Maths and Science. It took about 4 months before he began to gain confidence. She played word games with him to begin with and started on 100 high frequency words. Once he could read all of those she started with reading books. Oxford Reading Tree. You can buy the whole series on the Book People for a fraction of full price or borrow from library. Our tutor gave him 5 different homework words to practice each week. He did not feel under pressure.

It could be that the method that the school uses to teach reading simply doesn't suit your son if he has dyslexia, OP (or even if he hasn't got dyslexia).

There are some suggestions upthread for other reading schemes that may suit him better and he may prefer to try them at home with you where he feels secure, rather than with the audience of classmates.

I saw a programme where a man taught adults to read who had always struggled - it was probably about 10 years ago but the triumph of the adults when they cracked it had me in tears. They so wanted to be able to do it. I hope you find something that works for your son.

Eyesight test and possibly a test for coloured overlays would be where I would start too.

School should definitely be acknowledging your worries at the very least. I am sure if you put something in writing the school are obliged to give you a response and keep it on file. Rather than an informal chat with a teacher perhaps a letter stating your concerns regarding lack of progress might be more effective.

Oh op it must be heart breaking as a parent. I have dyslexia ( 36 now) and I remember my dad love him sitting me down each night with a cup of tea and a bowl of sherbet ( to keep me awake ) trying to teach me how to read .... it really did click one day visualisation in my head worked for me . I am not sure how he helped me click because I was only little but it wasn’t until I was 8 or 9 I could read.
I was a year ahead once I could though literally couldn’t stop me.
I had to work harder then everyone at school but I loved reading to this day but I see pictures not words in my head now I relate island to 🌴 etc

Poor you and poor lo.

Hi OP,

Your DS's school sound like they are not doing enough to support yours DS.

I'm a teacher & while not specifically trained in Dyslexia, it shouldn't matter. Your DS is in that class & should be getting taught in a way that is right for him, that is our job & no amount of talk of austerity or cuts changes that.

And tbh even if your son gets a diagnosis of Dyslexia further down the line, it won't necessarily mean anything changes in terms of support given the squeeze on schools. And as previous posters have said the damage may well be done by then, particularly in terms of your DS's confidence & self esteem.

I would suggest you go back to DS's teacher & ask for a meeting regarding his progress in reading & the plan going forward, If you feel you are being fobbed off again go to the HT.

Hope your ok tonight x

Agree with others, you are the one who will have to build his confidence in sounding out words and getting a list of the first 100 hfw words to practise. The teacher should give you this list plus the sounds in phonics that he has been exposed to. If not, print off the phase 2,3,4,5 sounds grids with accompanying thumbnail pictures and the list of high frequency words from Twinkl and start there. He might start to recognise the shape of the hfw words even if he can't use his phonics very well.

The teacher will be putting in as much support as is possible but if she has no other adults to call on this will be minimal. For every child that can't read, there will be another one who can't hold a pencil or mark make and another one who is incontinent, another with SEN etc. if you get my drift. Every child is important to a teacher (they all have to show progress) but without keeping a child in at break or lunch or during free play realistically there is not a lot they can do unless there are support staff in the classroom? If he is severely behind he will have triggered some sort of learning map and the SENCO will be aware so don't despair completely! If help is available he will get some. As the teacher said he is not alone so she is probably trying to support a whole group at various times of the week.

Even if he does eventually get a dyslexic diagnosis I'm not sure that there will be much more support. LSAs are thin on the ground! Good luck

Honestly if you can start teaching him phonics at home it will help. Toe by Toe is great. It's a phonics programme you can do at home. You need to commit to doing it consistently but I have seen it help quite a few dyslexic children. I have also used a mix of Jolly Phonics and Ruth Miskin with struggling readers. Also Word Shark and Starfall. The thing is have a phonics session every day in short bursts - make it a special, positive experience. You can sing songs, make the phonemes with playdough, etc. He will make progress!

My (very bright, now at uni) son could not get to grips with reading, couldn’t “hear” the phonics and the advice from the school wasn’t doing anything. Another mum recommended the Peter and Jane books we had grown up with - it was a game changer and he flew through them. They use repeated word recognition instead of sounding out - every word in book 1a is used in book 1b to make a different story, every word from 1a and 1b is in book 2a with some extra new words and so on. Definitely worth a try.

Just coming back on to say that one of the best things I did was to get a huge pack of stickers on various themes and use them as rewards, not just for achievement but for sitting down and eg working on ten words. The scented ones were particularly popular!

I’d second the suggestion of Dancing bears over Toe by Toe. They’re very similar in terms of principles but DB is a bit more child friendly.

The reality is for some kids it does take longer.

My elder DD was almost 8 before she was reading with any confidence and ability.

I would always do home reading programs, but it got to a point where DD was just getting a chip on her shoulder about not being able to read. Every night was a battle so I made the decision to stop forcing it for a while, I waited for her to grow up a bit.

Once she was nearly 8 the summer before yr 3 I set a challenge and said ok now we need to start reading everyday, it was hard but we stuck to it and she began to progress.

By 8 she started reading books for pleasure, discovering a series she loved, after that I would always get her books from the library, anything I thought she might like or graphic novels just to keep the momentum going (I still do this now).

She is now 11 and reading is a favourite pastime she loves adventure/fantasy, so lots of Percy Jackson, Keeper of the Lost Cities, Fable Haven etc

So my advice is relax about it for now, gentle encouragement try to find books they enjoy. 6 is very young, practice sight words.

The first books my DD really enjoyed reading were One Fish Two Fish and Hop on Pop by Dr Suess, they are fun and a great place to start building confidence. Also the Elephant and Piggie books are hilarious and good for sight words.

Eyesight and hearing tests first, to rule out anything else. Seconding Nessy for a gentle way in. It may be he is just a late bloomer - (I’ve known a few of children for whom it didn’t click until they were 8). But I’ve also known a few who were very dyslexic and found things hard. Whatever scheme you pick, use it regularly.

What sort of Biff and Chip books are they? Most don't bear any relation to the decoding the children have been learning in phonics unfortunately. Stick with Floppy's Phonics or Songbirds books to build his confidence.

So, some dyslexic children do initially learn more quickly using whole word recognition and I do sometimes do some work on high frequency words this way for some quick wins. However I think a solid phonics approach needs to go along side this so they have a strategy for tackling unfamiliar words. It is not that dyslexic students cannot learn phonics but they need it broken down into micro steps which is what both Dancing Bears and Toe by Toe do. I'd only recommend Toe by Toe for age 8/9 plus unless you have a particularly motivated and mature child.

You are not alone OP. Bloody biff and kipper. There’s one with someone called Pam. In the background there is a picture with a sofa in it.
This is me.
P A M.
P AM.
PAM.
What’s the word?
My child: Sofa
I could honestly scream with frustration. She just doesn’t understand sounding it out.
I’ll be reading the advice you get with interest.
💐

Hi I have dyslexia (I’m a English teacher now young kids) have you tried different colour Laminented over lays? Black and white can be so difficult to read also visual representation connections can help.

My mum spent extra time with me doing phonics I had a reward chart etc, also reading every night to your kid make sure they interact with the story.

My two daughters have dyslexia. When my first daughter was just gone into 4th class aged 10 she was diagnosed. Up until that point the teachers would come out with rubbish such as 'It's because of the Irish, she just needs to practise English reading more etc.'. She got on much better in the English medium school and with extra help outside and in school. She is now in her third year of university studying Social Care Practice. With dd2 I knew she had dyslexia too and she was tested at nearly 10 despite her teacher saying if she did have it it was very mild! Even though they were tested 5 years apart by different Psychologists one privately and one by the Dyslexia Association of Ireland they literally scored the same from their IQ to their phonics. Their dad has Dyslexia, so does his mother and most of his first cousins. In fact one of his cousins wasn't diagnosed until her first year in college. 7 or 8 is the earliest anyone would be diagnosed with it anyway. The Toe by Toe book I wouldn't recommend.

Teachers just don't have enough time and resources to do one to one with every child that needs it.

If a child is dyslexic p, they should be getting help. If a teacher can’t give it, it needs to come from somewhere else in the school. Anything less is failing that child

OP, make a nuisance of yourself, let them know you won’t let it go until they do something. Let your LO know this won’t be forever and you will help him as much as possible.

Our challenges with DD are different but we find that focusing on the stuff she is really good at, when she is down in herself for the things she can’t do, really helps her feel better.

Get the DS a private dyslexia diagnosis and, if he needs it, some supportive tuition. My sister did this with one of her girls and she caught up. I had maths and French tutors for mine. You can’t just leave it to the school as have neither the time nor the resources for individual tuition.

My son was 7 and a half before he could read but then he just got it and loved reading. So much so that he now has an English literature degree. He just wasn't ready to read early. I do thlnk children are generally pushed too much too soon these days and it puts them off learning.

Aw bless you.

I also suspect my dd has dyslexia we are waiting on an ed psyche to visit her at school.

She seemed to take forever to get the phonics even remotely close.

She basically just memorized books. The biff and chip ones were useless for helping her to learn to read. Not only did the pictures give away far too much, she memorized them.realky quickly and they often didnt relate to the phonics shed learnt that day/week .

We find the barrington Stokes books really good . They are written for dyslexics and reluctant readers.

And check.out the dyslexia shop for tbongs like limes and squares paper, pens,.pencils, and other bits that are really good. I also recently bought some " editing cards" off the website which as dds spelling is so poor they come.in handy to use to check how to spell stuff.