to be upset that my child cant read and nobody cares?

[staydazzling]

had a heartbreaking conversation inthe bath earlier with youngest child 6 yrs old. Ive always known that he has significant reading difficulties and have spent 2 years trying to bring up with the teachers he could benefit from help but i get dismissive replies ranging from he'll get there eventually to hes not the most severe in the class. He was telling me he feels self conscious because he can hardly read at all and is embarrassed to tell anyone, children already whisper when he asks other kids to read a word for him , i empathised and said that must be so frustrating for you. and that people in our family have dyslexia hes not alone. he also gets sounds confuses, another symptom of dyslexia. another complaint he had was they just tell him to sound the word out, but he cant because he gets sounds wrong that broke my heart hes being so badly failed. hes on a low book band at least 5 behind where he should be. i know austerity has desimated our education but, it cannot be right to just abandon a child like that can it? its making me quite teary now, AIBU to be annoyed noone seems to care that my son can barely read?

OP if you feel your ds is presenting with ASD traits, can you push your GP for referral for assessment on that? I expect you are aware if there are any family members who have either been diagnosed or perhaps have difficulties which may lead to diagnosis if sought. Dyslexia is often a co-morbid condition with ASD, like dyspraxia and dyscalculia.

It's frustrating that the usual comment on school's lack of action where children clearly need it is put down to budget cuts and austerity. Obviously that has a big impact but schools are awarded SEN pots of money precisely for this purpose, although many choose to spend it elsewhere and actually buy very little supportive equipment at all and if it is directed to providing a TA, that TA is used to support the teacher and whole class rather than one or two specific pupils. Support should be given to children based purely on need rather than diagnosis; regardless of there being other children struggling more than OP's son, he and they should be receiving extra support and that done sympathetically so that the children don't feel ashamed and embarrassed by their struggles.

Didn't read the full thread, apologies if it's been said before. Have a go with Reading Eggs and teach your monster to read learning games. My DD couldn't read, sound out words or identify letters properly at 6. After 6 months of using reading eggs she could read basic words and identify all letters, now she's 7 we've used it a full year and she's caught up and is identifying words and reading them freely everywhere she sees them. She has PDA and its quite severe too with her crumpling at any praise. I've had to sit next to her every day to get it done but she's come leaps and hounds and so has her confidence.

**Bounds

Tired mum lol

I would wonder if it is true "PDA" or more frustration and feeling "stupid" because he knows others get something he can't - as well as exhaustion.
My dyslexic son made a lot of fuss about doing work at home - and at secondary I have signed work off after 2 hrs of fuss, wok that should have taken 1/2 hr. BUT otherwise he has little symptoms of PDA - he is/was pretty compliant with other demands.
In contrast one of his sisters was a nightmare, and I ended up having to come at lots of things "sideways". For example if she had to get ready for an event. I would tell her and then ignore all her protests (biting my tongue a lot). But would act as if she was going to get ready - and usually it worked.

One more vote for daily Dancing Bears. It’s really excellent and very easy for a parent to do. Good luck.

Molly
Good point
DS2 does not have PDA but when he was younger if the only time you had seen him was when he had schoolwork to do, you might have considered it.
I have had everything from books pushed off the table, running away, shouting, “falling asleep”, negotiating, blackmailing, 8 million pencil sharpening, glass of water, need a wee, dropped my pencil, dropped my pencil again, fell off chair picking up dropped pencil, wrong pencil, wrong rubber...

It was quite usual to get double the time avoiding the work than the work actually took. What I realised was that transitioning from relaxed to work is hard for them (Monday mornings are a real challenge in our house) and also the task felt overwhelming and that it would last for ever. I got some big sand timers and used to give a warning that work would start in 5 mins and set the timer. However, I also limited the time of the task. I would start a 10 min timer and as long as they were working I would let it run but if the mucked around I would lay it flat so the sand stopped and just wait.
Visual timers are good for children with dyslexia as they don’t seem to have a good sense of time passing.

"Obviously that has a big impact but schools are awarded SEN pots of money precisely for this purpose"

You have no idea. The child in my class who has a life limiting condition that requires full time support - academic, toileting, you name it, is working five years behind his peers, is violent and aggressive to staff and children - receives funding of £6k pa. That's a quarter of what his fabulous full-time TA costs, not to mention specialist equipment, room adaptations and lunchtime support. It is very, very hard.

Of course struggling children should be supported, no right-minded person thinks that they shouldn't, but schools have to support within the parameters of what they can afford, target it where it is most needed and, in many cases, mop up with the support of parent volunteers for things like reading support.

I've got so much sympathy for worried parents but I hate the implication that schools enjoy watching children struggle while they waste SEN money on staffroom cakes.

FWIW - and Scotland's expectations are different in the infant years - but ds was very slow to read. All through P1 (age 5) I said "He's not blending" (even though he was in the top group for language: worked out he was learning the books off by heart ) but they said not to worry, as some kids are just not developmentally ready until they're 6.

I was ok with that - as I also knew he'd been very late to talk (as had I).

Beginning of P2, the depute head spent 6 weeks doing 1:1 with him on his reading before we mutually agreed he should move to the middle group.

He did finally "get" reading by about Easter, when he was nearly 6 and 3/4. But it took until the end of P4 (I think, possibly P5) for him to move back to the top group.

He was in the top set for English throughout secondary and is now in the 2nd year of a reading heavy course (Politics and International Relations) at Aberdeen Uni

School's advice was not to make a big deal about and put him off reading. To encourage him in whatever he was interested in. Two things were the catalyst for him: one was wanting to read for himself the scores of his favourite football team (this was before he became a rugby geek ) and the other was the "Captain Underpants" and "Super Daiper Baby" books

the sad fact is a lot of these children, belong in SEN schools there isn't enough of them.

all the accommodations inthe world are not adequate in mainstream for some children, my sibling. would never have managed. inclusion is brilliant in HF SEN but for more severe its become essentially shoe horning them in.

i made a comment yesterday about the fact my DS was taken for individual reading, for very first time, i realised that ofsted were in and wondered if the 2 were connected. no individual reading was done today

So you make an appointment with the school, they assume you want to talk about his reading so they do a quick assessment on his current ability. Nothing to do with men in suits.

I don't think it's anything to do with Ofsted. There wouldn't be any benefit or reason whatsoever. As pp says, probably in response to your query.

it was before i made it.

Anybody with any experience of Ofsted will tell you that there would be no benefit or reason whatsoever for an impromptu one-off 1:1 reading session.

If they wanted Ofsted to see 1:1 reading interventions, they'd just do them with those children who usually have them.

In fact, Ofsted talk to the children and it would be embarrassing if they asked your son how often he has help and he said it was the first time.

It might have been before you made your appointment but you've been raising concerns, yes? Either they're listening, or they've finally realised how much he's struggling, or they had an unexpectedly free TA, or a pupil was absent and your boy took his place, or they've done some sort of assessment and he's performed badly. It really won't be Ofsted.

We're only four weeks into the school year. It might have taken that long to assess the children, set up interventions and organise TA timetables.

When you go in for your meeting, say how pleased you are that he's getting extra support. Ask how often it'll be happening, and what programme they're following (if any). Ask what you can do to support them, ask what you can do at home. Don't mention Ofsted, don't ask what took them so long.

The schools don't have the funding to support this type of difficulty. I'm dyslexic was very lucky to have very supportive parent's, who pushed for a diagnosis. Then paid for private tuition all though my high school years for maths and English.

I always said if either of my children had a problem a would fight to get them help. Now DD didn't learn to read really fluently until year 2. I'm sure that she is mildly dyslexic, but she's bright and achieving well at high school. This can often be the case with girls. I'm keeping a close eye on her as it's more stress about her work that worries me.

But we expect children in the UK to have formal education very early. Often other countries don't start till 7years. But many hear have said they can't pick dyslexia up until KS2 that's not actually true. The screening tests the school use won't pick it up, but that isn't a formal diagnosis. Only an educational physiologic can give one and they can pick it up in younger children. Often schools don't have the funding for the refurals and will only refure those in real need. Hence waiting until children are that bit older. The only problem with this is by then they could be quite behind and still end up waiting a couple of years via school for a formal diagnosis.

I would have paid privately for an assessment if my daughter hadn't caught up in year 2. It was the longest I was willing to wait. Also she was able to sound out words at that point, so phonics was working.

I'd consider seeking additional help from outside of school. Or be that really annoying parent who pesters them all the time, ask for meeting with his teacher. It is true that the ones who shout the loudest get the most attention.

Totally agree with other posters.

First look at the SEN boards to get advice and information
Definitely practise the first hundred frequency words. I did this with my ds when he was young.
Buy phonics books and practise everyday for short amounts of time. When you go out to places, ask him to point out signs .
It really is down to parents

In most countries, children don't start learning to read until they are seven. Yet, by the time they are nine, they are further ahead than those that started earlier. Ime, the biggest issue here is not the problem he has reading, it is how he feels about that.

Very wise words there, CarBui.

A child with two years of reading instruction behind them is not the same as a child of a similar age who hasn’t had any instruction because they haven’t been taught yet. School starting age has nothing to do with reading attainment at the age of 9.

In fact the myth about school starting age is probably part of the reason the school haven’t done much in the way of intervention. In the meantime, the gap the gap between the OP’s DS and his classmates has been growing for two years which has likely had a huge impact on the way he feels about reading and himself as a reader.

thanks RafalsTheKingOfClay,, you articulated that well. its a growing gap and one hes aware of, sadly.

US children are not untaught until age 5/6. They are exposed to phonics but without the necessity of showing an end result during the PK4 or Kdg school year.

I don’t think that’s been true for a while. Obviously there are differences between different states and school districts but failure to progress against K reading standard study will end up with a K level tiered intervention and sometimes retention in kindergarten.

Either way, the outcome is probably the same. If everyone else in your K class is reading grade level texts and you aren’t the damage is done regardless of whether there’s a necessity to show an end result.