to be upset that my child cant read and nobody cares?

[staydazzling]

had a heartbreaking conversation inthe bath earlier with youngest child 6 yrs old. Ive always known that he has significant reading difficulties and have spent 2 years trying to bring up with the teachers he could benefit from help but i get dismissive replies ranging from he'll get there eventually to hes not the most severe in the class. He was telling me he feels self conscious because he can hardly read at all and is embarrassed to tell anyone, children already whisper when he asks other kids to read a word for him , i empathised and said that must be so frustrating for you. and that people in our family have dyslexia hes not alone. he also gets sounds confuses, another symptom of dyslexia. another complaint he had was they just tell him to sound the word out, but he cant because he gets sounds wrong that broke my heart hes being so badly failed. hes on a low book band at least 5 behind where he should be. i know austerity has desimated our education but, it cannot be right to just abandon a child like that can it? its making me quite teary now, AIBU to be annoyed noone seems to care that my son can barely read?

Things like.lined and squared paper.

Stupid phone

yanbu, i was the same op i couldn’t read until i was 8 and came up just below like the level for dyslexia. he will pick it up in time but obviously he should be getting help, i got no help either and had to teach myself basically, but when it finally clicked i was flying and ended up with a reading level way above my age. i’ve no real advice but if he can read at all you should try taking him to the library regularly, if he has older siblings who can read make it a competition who can read the most books by the end of the month etc (even if the books are at completely different levels), my mum signed me up for a competition like that in our library over the summer one year and it really helped me.

Agree with @Blueshadow.
Sadly teachers dont have enough time is there a Sens coach at school that you could talk to?or even an organisation called volunteer reading help not sure if they're in your area but specialise in coming into school in their free time (all crb checked of course)to help youngsters read for about an hour or so a week.

Insist on an urgent meeting with SENCO, head teacher and class teacher. Tell them everything you have told us here and don’t leave the meeting until the next steps have been agreed. In the meantime get hearing and eyesight checked as this will be used as a delaying tactic by staff. If a meeting is refused or not forthcoming write to the chair of govs and inform them. Start your letter to HT with the following: Dear xxxxx As a result of information disclosed to me by my child it is imperative that I see you and x and x as a matter of urgency.

OP two quick things.

1. My mother told my teacher I was backward at 6-3/4 and understood I was slow. About two weeks later I failed my school eye test and got glasses and an eye patch that scarred me for life nut I was reading proper books within six weeks.

1. Write the HT a note "I appreciate mini op boy is struggling but can you please confirm that dyslexia, other learning difficulties or neuro developmental difficulties have been ruled out. If not I shall be grateful if you will please identify what the school has done to deal with why my son is facing what eem to be insurmountable difficulties.

Obviously I am happy to meet with you and his class teacher and the SEN lead to discuss this further to ensure my ds's opportunities to learn are optimised. If you do not believe there is an underlying issue I shall be grateful if you will be kind enough to confirm this in writing.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely
OP

My mum read to me all the time as a kid and it helped me so much. At least two/three books a night.

I didn’t read until I was 8.
I went to uni and I’m now a teacher.

As said up thread, no one cares about your child as much as you do, it’s not that the teacher doesn’t care but that they care about the other 29 children in the class as much.
Read at home, but don’t turn it into a ‘thing’.

My daughter did toe-by-toe. It was brilliant.

She did it aged about 13-14, made a huge difference.

Make sure you keep them interested in verbal stories and pictures even if they can't read or write well. Being enthusiastic about stories keeps their brains developing even if reading and writing comes more slowly.

I want to give you some hope..
My ds now 18, struggled from day 1 of school. We knew he was dyslexic and asd. We had to fight all the way not just with school but with the educational physcologist as he didnt want to statement him so my boy got furthur and further behind losing confidence and school refusal. I took him myself to get tested privately (unfortunatly that company no longer exisits or i would forward link) it wasnt till we moved school that we got the statement got a diagnosis. I kicked and screamed (still do now) like i said hes 18 now in college (very slow progress) but his echp means he can stay in education till 25 (not sure he will bit he has the option) he can read he can write but not to a level where he can past gcse (but he can read 100 x times better then at 6. Your boy will get there it may take longer then the rest but he will. Ask the head teacher to speak to your schools senco ask for an assement and ask about an iep. These are meeting where small individual targets are set out for your child to achive in a given time. learn 4 words by heart in a months time etc... then it can be assesed how/when he achived it or if he didnt why not how can we get him there what can we put in place to help. It is evidence building to possibly echp if thats needed in the future.

Most importantly dont sit back, dont assume the teacher knows how badly he is struggling as he might be covering up how difficult he finds it. Arrange to have a meeting with the teacher and explain your concerns in great detial.

Sadly i was thAt child..didnt read anything till 8 but simple books at that. At 13 they discovered it was dyslexia and suddendly different teaching and world opened for me....i got gcses a levels degree... I love reading now and read a lot. Yes still got problems with words ive not seen and mix up words eg country and county. I cant learn foreign words. Still dont know left and right. Sometimes those that take time reach higher... tortoise and hare. Op...talk to your sons teachers. You sound like you amazing mum x

The dr. Seuss books are very good too.

Also agree to arrange hearing and eye tests , school/senco will request this anyway to rule out any "easy" issues. (Son had grommits and glasses and was still dyslexic and asd )

Great suggestions on this thread. Also get in touch with British Dyslexia Association or Dyslexia Scotland (if in Scotland). Peer parental support can be very helpful in addition to threads like this and the SEN board.
Each organisation have information for parents available online including about interacting with schools.
I had my DD assessed privately aged 6 and it made no difference at school because unless a teacher has done specific additional education, they know very little about dyslexia. Shocking but that’s how it is.
The assessment gave me a lot to work with at home and helped understanding the wider impact of dyslexia such as poor short term memory and lack of organisation.
Good luck to you.

Enid blyton and time and the hidden people got me reading but its finding a book or reading scheme that interested to the child.

I removed my daughter from mainstream education because she was utterly failed by the system. There will always be other kids that teachers will identify as failing more. Most teachers are not SEN qualified. I was told my daughter had psychiatric problems requiring CAMHS, and I was a 'bad' mother for having a professional job and a disability. I responded by fighting to get my daughter the right diagnosis through the NHS and private sector. As it turns out, she has sensory processing disorder, auditory processing disorder and severe dyspraxia. The teachers scoffed my suggestion of SEN citing other kids in her class who were not performing as expected. You could start by requesting a speech and language therapy assessment as these professionals are gatekeepers to other services. In some areas, self-referral is permitted but in others, a GP can organise this.

I started there, and they referred my girl to occupational therapy. The wait for paediatric occupational therapy in my area is hideous (years) so we went private for a report of needs. Some local authorities will not accept private psychology/ occupational therapy assessment reports so check with your SENCO before paying. I home school my daughter now and we use matific and spelling shed quite a lot. She has trouble with phonics, letter reversal and visual-tracking. Your GP may help you access local child services so try there. The NHS diagnosed auditory processing disorder through a specialist hearing clinic in my daughter, for example. There are loads of resources and helping websites on the internet to support you in getting intervention for your child.

I doubt there's a school in the country that has the time to read 1:1 with your child every day. What do the other 29 children do while that is happening? TAs will be directed to the very poorest readers, and that isn't your child.

I doubt that your ds's poor reading has gone unnoticed. Its likely that he will be a particular focus of any whole class reading or phonics session for example.

And dyslexia testing is notoriously unreliable at this age. It is almost pointless, and schools are reluctant to direct funds to it for that reason. Even with a diagnosis, very little would change in the classroom - coloured overlays, toe by toe if there is a TA available to do it.

Honestly, there is no substitute for you reading with him every single day, as much as possible. If you have time, you could consider volunteering as a parent helper in order to do extra 1:1 reading with those that need it too.

Already lots of positive stories, and tips OP.
I can imagine he broke your heart.
There must be so much pressure to learn in the class if he is already feeling self conscious. Poor chap give him lots of hugs, we all need some extra help sometimes.

OP >>I'll whisper this

You need to speak to the SENCO. I would advise being polite but pushy until they arrange a meeting. Don't take no for an answer and spend the time between now and the meeting building up examples and evidence so that you can go into the meeting well armed.

I also agree with others that I would be looking into strategies for supporting him at home. There is another thread on here at theoment about how phonics only works for 95% but there are other ways to learn to read so please look into that for your Ds.

Id just like to say im grateful to all replies, im wading through all the brilliant info, i have been quite tearful tonight and i just feel so powerless, ive been unsuccessfully trying to get him assessed for other issues and i think this is why i feel so overwhelmed. i think first things first, hearing and eyesight checked, speak to headteacher, speak to senco ask for some coloured layovers. getting him to do regular writing at home with me will be tricky he gets embarrassed and refuses.

My dd couldn't read at 6, she's at a top university now, some are later in development

Another one suggesting Toe by Toe, which is available on Amazon. This made such a difference to my son. I had to buy it as his school insisted they didn’t have the budget, despite it being recommended by the LEA dyslexia specialist! So I kept it at home and we worked on it for 10 minutes every night and made it as fun as poss by letting him put stickers on the completed pages, and little surprise presents. I feel it might be particularly appropriate because you mentioned that your DS cannot sound out words, TbT deals with exactly that, and it puts the sounds into nonsense words, so they cannot guess and get it right (which my DS used to do). It uses lots of repetition and over-learning.

Don’t despair, my DS is off to Oxford to do his 3rd degree (from hating school to the point of school refusing he is now a perpetual student!)

You are very powerful - you are his mother and his best advocate. I also know of someone who gives free 1:1 lessons over Skype for dyslexic children. He is officially retired and has had a book about dyslexia published. Pm me if you need any more info.

Dancing Bears program is mainly creasing not writing. I'd do some kind of deal with him. He does 10 mins of dancing Bears each day and then you will read to him ( book/ story/ chapter of longer book- whatever he enjoys) If he is embarrassed, try giving him a small reward for hard work/effort each time rather than for getting things right.

Haven't read the thread and don't have personal experience with this. But it sounds like the school is failing your son.

In your position, I would be researching all of the resources the pps have provided. I would be looking into what the school should be providing in terms of education targets and their policy for SEN support.

Request a meeting with the head teacher and the SENCO to discuss your concerns. Do this in writing, email. Keep as much in writing as possible.

I understand that coloured overlays can help with dyslexia, though they're a bit pricey to buy a set, it may be worth investing to see if that could help. But I agree with others, I expect a lot of the teaching will be down to you judging by your schools position so far.

Good luck.