to be upset that my child cant read and nobody cares?

[staydazzling]

had a heartbreaking conversation inthe bath earlier with youngest child 6 yrs old. Ive always known that he has significant reading difficulties and have spent 2 years trying to bring up with the teachers he could benefit from help but i get dismissive replies ranging from he'll get there eventually to hes not the most severe in the class. He was telling me he feels self conscious because he can hardly read at all and is embarrassed to tell anyone, children already whisper when he asks other kids to read a word for him , i empathised and said that must be so frustrating for you. and that people in our family have dyslexia hes not alone. he also gets sounds confuses, another symptom of dyslexia. another complaint he had was they just tell him to sound the word out, but he cant because he gets sounds wrong that broke my heart hes being so badly failed. hes on a low book band at least 5 behind where he should be. i know austerity has desimated our education but, it cannot be right to just abandon a child like that can it? its making me quite teary now, AIBU to be annoyed noone seems to care that my son can barely read?

Reading, not creasing!!!!

Make an appointment to talk to the school SENCO as soon as possible, and ask if they have any facilities to test for dyslexia in school - some schools do: it won't be definitive but it's a starting point. Also ask about whether he is officially on SEN Support at school and if not, whether they will put him on that. That should mean that they put more resources into supporting and monitoring him, and if he still doesn't make adequate progress they should start considering an application for an EHCP.

Also contact your local branch of the Dyslexia Association - they may be able to refer you to local teachers etc who can do an assessment. If you can possibly afford to get him help outside school from a specialist teacher, that would be worth exploring: it made a great difference to my dyslexic son.

And dyslexia testing is notoriously unreliable at this age. It is almost pointless, and schools are reluctant to direct funds to it for that reason. Even with a diagnosis, very little would change in the classroom - coloured overlays, toe by toe if there is a TA available to do it.

It isn't true that testing is unreliable at age 6. Schools are reluctant to direct funds purely because they haven't got the funds, but if children are properly assessed and go on the SEN register that attracts some funding; if they get an EHC Plan it becomes the local authority's responsibility to ensure that all the required support is delivered, providing extra funding if necessary.

Just another thought but what were the results of his Year 1 phonics screening test? I assumed this was a national test but perhaps it isn't. Our school had a clear pathway in place for any child that was below the national average in that test. I'm surprised the school haven't raised it and would think that could be a good starting point for a conversation with the head teacher.

ill definitely look into toe by toe read that a lot on here.

Honestly, I think your ds is too young for Toe by Toe. It is a great scheme but really only suitable for 8+. Dancing Bears is better for younger ones.
They use Toe by Toe with adults to improve literacy in prisons.

oh that's interesting ok. thank you ill look at dancing bears,

My DD isn't dyslexic .She loved books,recognising words etc then she started year 1 and phonics.She became scared if books and reading.
In year 3 she came home with a picture book to read.Thats when I list it a bit.
The school put her on some online program which she whizzed through as she could see the patterns so could accurately guess the right answer.Her teacher didn't know why she was on the program and no one else seemed to know.
So I bought phonics books and discovered that this was where her problem was.So we read books and she had cards and when the word came up she held out the card and said it.
It took a while but she enjoyed me reading to her again,gained confidence and chose books to buy and read .
In secondary school we ignored the reading program as they gave her books that we owned and she had read out loud to me the year before.

She still won't read for pleasure but got a 6 in her GCSE English language and a 7 English lit.this year.
I felt a lot like that parent all the time but Iit still rankles that school was so poor and sadder that it is still happening.

I know it’s easy for me to say, but as ks1 teacher & a mum of a reluctant reader, it will come. Sometimes it is literally overnight & others it’s longer. Even if you ds was diagnosed with dyslexia, he would still be taught to read & write in the same way as others, albeit at a slower pace.
I recommend the app Reading Eggs. Have faith, he will get there.

It’s just hard graft..doing the phonics again and again Until they remember them, then doing them all again...just keep going. Toe to toe is good. I recommend doing it in the morning when they are fresh..everything is doubly hard for dyslexic kids. My son was exhausted after school at 6 and learnt little

Every time he complains about not being good at reading or writing, tell him he’s getting much better and remind him of something he’s really good at.

Worth paying for a formal dyslexia assessment if yoU can afford it.

Lots of great advice here. I just wanted to add...
Read to him. Lots. Make sure he can see the pictures and the words as you read. Occasionally point out a word that you think he can read, e.g. the or red, to build his confidence.
When he is reading to you, don't let him struggle too much. You read one page and he reads the next or alternate sentences even. If he's struggled with a word and managed to read it, reread the sentence from the beginning and stop so that he can insert the new word.
Reread books a lot, either school ones or familiar picture books. Don't worry about him "memorising' the book. This is a good thing and will improve his reading and his confidence. Just make sure that he is looking at the text as he reads.
Don't worry about writing at home too much. Instead do lots of drawing, colouring and sticking.
Confidence is the key and needs to be your main priority.

It's really rash to say "It will come" if a child is struggling to this extent. They kept saying that about my son at this age, but he was definitely dyslexic. He didn't learn to read and write in the same way as others: he learnt by virtue of a lot of patient work put in by a dyslexia specialist teacher combined with support from his state school who fully accepted that he needed it.

And then you get someone like my friend's child: she was also told that "it will come" but it never did. 20 years later he can still read only very badly, and he only managed to get through GCSEs, A levels and a degree with a lot of support and by virtue of having all texts read to him, the use of audiobooks and other technological aids, and the extensive use of readers and scribes in school, college and university.

My eldest son was the same. The head teacher gave me the best advice. She said I needed to boost his confidence. She said the best way to do that was for him to go into school and tell her he had read a whole book. She asked me to buy a couple of very short simple books. I bought The school, and The baby, both by John Burningham. He was able to read them with very little help the first time, and the next day without help. The praise and encouragement she gave him made all the difference. The School is about things a boy does at school, and the baby is about being a big brother.
My youngest son is severely dyslexic. When he was 10 I discovered that if you ask for an assessment by an Educational Psychologist, the school has to say yes, and you get the results, where you may not if the school has made the request. The psychologist assessed him in school and then came to discuss the results with me. As a result my son got the help he needed and I was told his IQ was 163. The headmaster had told me "Sometimes, Mrs 81, we just have to accept that our children are just not very bright."...He was a crap head of a crap school

Lots of kids even without dyslexia just don't get reading at age 6 and phonics is not for everyone.

Op "toe by toe" book is great if he does have dyslexia. But read to him and build up his confidence in other ways.

In the home ed world many kids cannot read at 6 and it's more like 7 and 8 to start formal education. As it is in many countries across the world. Learning can be done in so many different ways (videos, games, reasoning and talking about subjects can all be used.) Reading books to the child can help so much.

The problem is there are not the parent volunteers we used to get and we have half as many TAs as we used to, to make a difference you need time every day and we don't have the resources to do that, its not no one cares, its lack of resources

There are some great resources that have already been mentioned but if he is finding phonics hard then it might also be an idea to try reading to him following the words with your finger, use flash cards of common words (you get these free on twinkl) and lots of repetition, not every child can learn to read from phonics, some do learn from sight and memory. Especially if there are other issues.

My dd is now 17 but when she was 7 I paid for Ed Psych testing and a report which as other posters have said - the school couldn't ignore. I would certainly recommend that you try to do this - despite the cost. Having said that her primary school merely gave her a few one to one literacy sessions, I had to supplement her support myself by paying for a private tutor. However, It did immeasurably help her self esteem to be given evidence that she wasn't stupid or lazy but that her brain was wired differently. Plus her secondary school took it seriously from the get go

For secondary school I sent her to a small independent school with small class sizes - not an option available to many people I realise (and not one that will be available to anyone in future under a Corbyn government!), but it did help her immeasurably and she got good GCSE grades

I hope that the state sector supports your dc better than it supported mine, but the starting point is getting that Ed psych report at age 7 so that you are not casting around in the dark

(On a more encouraging note my dd has returned to the state sector for sixth form and they have been pretty switched on)

My DS has been identified with dyslexia and dyspraxia in y3 after years on standby.

He was slow to pick up reading and made classic dyslexic errors. At the start of y2, he was still on L3 books on ORT. His teacher did a dyslexia screening which indicated that he was showing strong signs of dyslexia. She also did a screening of coloured overlays, and when it was "his" colour, he instantly read fluently. He now has coloured overlays and exercise books (I buy the books myself and send them in each September) Within a week, he was on level 5 books (by contrast his sibling has just gone up to level 6 at the start of y2). He got Nessy intervention, which seemed to stall in y3 until he was 8, and it was the new financial year when he finally got assessed which we had to pay privately. He's back onto Nessy now.

He reads for pleasure but layout is critical. He likes little chunks of text, cartoon style or fact books. It is much harder when he's tired. I'll pretty much sign anything off as a read no matter how basic.

We share reading pages/ paragraphs/ lines. I read more challenging texts to him although times is more awkward as he gets older. I supervise Nessy in school. His class has no TA support and the TAs have become increasingly stretched in the last few years. It's a relief that I have time to support school, and I can fund some of the things that make life easier; the glasses, special dictionary, scissors, laptop. His teachers have been understanding all along, just no resourcing to spare.

My child is getting happier. Diagnosis has really helped as he now understands his difficulties, even if they don't make them easier.

Incidentally, he had slow speach development in his early years and I used the Peter and Jane books to help his sentence construction as the language is simple, repetitive and rearranges the word order.

You do have to be persistent. That doesn't mean "that parent", but regular nudging to get the right ideas in place, follow up promises and push to the next stage.

he looks like loves having a book at night, i read it whilst having him join in and then i "let him read it" after which is him essentially picking out the words he understands, it makes him feel better. he enjoys harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs, and dr suess a lot. S/O to whoever mentioned subtitles 🙌 yeah we do that for the same reason, have done for a while. My Aunt has severe dyslexia, my DMs is milder, but yeah i told my son how she would kick off in school in English to get thrown out of class so no one would discover she couldnt read. this was the 60s and is still largely illiterate now such a shame.

"It isn't true that testing is unreliable at age 6. Schools are reluctant to direct funds purely because they haven't got the funds, but if children are properly assessed and go on the SEN register that attracts some funding; if they get an EHC Plan it becomes the local authority's responsibility to ensure that all the required support is delivered, providing extra funding if necessary."

I don't know about the other concerns you have about your son op, but I do know a lot about dyslexia. It is unreliable. If you pay for a private assessment, they will find dyslexic traits because they always do. It is vanishingly rare to pay for an assessment and have it come back negative. I know a great many students who were found to be dyslexic at ks1 but not dyslexic when retested at ks3.

There are enough posters on this thread alone to attest to the fact that a struggling reader at 6 is not necessarily dyslexic, and will not necessarily even always struggle.

Also, many schools don't add dyslexic children to the SEN register and it certainly wouldn't qualify for any extra funding or an EHCP.

I have a lot of sympathy for you and your son but am just trying to manage your expectations. Some of the advice here is not true, such as that the school must have him assessed by an Ed Psych if you ask, for example.

In your position, I would make an appointment with the teacher and SENDCO to outline your concerns and ask what you can do at home to help. Ask them to try him with overlays (they will have some and it takes minutes to check whether they help). Then push for testing when he is in Y4.

My DD was like this a few months ago. She is 7 and could barely read. I don’t know if this helps you, but she was put on the MiniLit programme. Literally a few months later and she’s reading 39 Storey Treehouse fluently.

multilit.com/programs/minilit-program/

Op I can’t recommend “teach your monster to read” enough. It’s a fabulous app where your ds will design his own “monster” and will take him on a journey of learning to read.

My dd wasn’t a strong reader until the end of year 1. It just didn’t click at all and I was so worried. She’s now in year 4 and one of the best readers and she helps other children who are finding it tough.

I think the app is free. Dd loved it and it works. As pp have said though, please push the school for some intervention. They are failing your ds

I would be paying for a private assessment to be done for him.

My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD and because if it she was behind in class, I have spent hours and hours working with her and she has come so far. Kids with learning difficulties benefit so much more from 1:1 learning than they do being in a classroom (in fact any child benefits so much from it but kids with LD really need it) and if you can afford to also get him assessed you will also know exactly what you are dealing with.

Unfortunately even if you do get a teacher who cares they generally do not have the extra time available to put in to your child that you know he needs. A formal diagnosis will also go a long way in getting the school to alter the way they teach him if necessary.

Let your heart break for your child and then piece it back together and get behind him in making sure you find out how to support him yourself in his learning.

I have an eight year old in year four. She was only picked out and put into a dyslexia group a year ago, having moved schools (from a very deprived area to a very conservative and posh area). She still doesn't have a diagnosis but at least they recognised she had some problems. She had no reading level a year ago. Now, thanks to the right help and support she will read on her own at well as to us sometimes. She doesn't get everything right by a longshot but the improvement is amazing.

Her phonics are still bad. She still can't sound out words properly or at all.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. She was treated as if she definitely has dyslexia, and had special time in this group, which has helped. I honestly think your sons school should do some dyslexia based work with him to give him the same boost. It will either work or it won't.

sightwords.com/pdfs/word_lists/dolch_group.pdf

Dolch word lists.

These are the American version of high frequency words or 'sight words'. There are 220 of them iirc.

Basically the words on this list comprise 75% to 80% of the words your child will see in any given book designed for children to age 8.

They include words like 'the', 'a', 'an' 'and', 'for', 'to', 'that' and many more.

If it's any consolation to you, kids in other English speaking countries are not expected to read until age 6, but with a good deal of groundwork done before then.

I had the same issuesOP..Im an avid reader(&read very early) so it was a revelation seeing my2struggle& not simply"get it".I quickly realised no-one was going to be as invested in my kids education as me&eventually took kids out of school after they learnt so little&struggled so long with how loud&busy the classes were& overstretched/under resourced teachers are..i used 'Key words with Peter and Jane' which is a set of 36 books in a hard display case i found in a bookstore here in Oz.Literally taught them to read fron scratch as they were so far behind..i still joke with them now theyre both teens &have a reading habit to rival mine&the bookset i recommend to anyone i hear struggling.They both read years ahead of their levels once they'd got their confidence back(aged 8&9)&had quiet space to relax with it so trust yourself&your instinct&do it..schools are such a noisy,harrassed environment for littlies that its only when you're forced down a path you never envisaged(homeschooling in my case) that it becomes a route with so many amazing facets&opportunities for kids to grow into the genuine person &individual that school cannot come close to..good luck.