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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp says we're sexually incompatible because I can't climax from penetrative sex

420 replies

JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:25

He has implied if we split he 'd meet a woman who does.

I think that's delusional - because most women (who don't fake) can 't climax from penetrating sex. I read 75% or higher of the female population.

Aibu?

OP posts:
SignedUpJust4This · 28/09/2019 18:27

It wouldnt hurt to lie a little 'youre right darling. I dont know whats happened. I always came instantly with all my exes huge dicks'

SignedUpJust4This · 28/09/2019 18:28

And dont let him in til youve come at least once!

boringisasboringdoes · 28/09/2019 18:29

Too much porn watching?
Exes faking?
Regardless it doesn't actually matter whether 20% of women can, what matters is you can't and you're the person he should be curious about rather than projecting his feelings of being inadequate onto you. Anyway it's not about him "giving" you an orgasm. You need to find something that works - your hand/his/a toy - if you want an orgasm (which isn't compulsory btw)

fifig87 · 28/09/2019 18:29

Jesus he wouldn't exactly make you want to jump his bones. Imagine no foreplay, just sounds shite. But sure at least he gets to cum.... 🙄🙄

Peakypolly · 28/09/2019 18:30

This is why you shouldn't fake orgasms.. because you create deluded men that walk around saying this stupid shit
TBH saying those who can climax from purely piv are faking is pretty offensive. I have just asked the two women with me if they can and both of them, and me, can - so 75%, really?
But that is an aside, of course you are sexually incompatible. He cannot be arsed to satisfy you so move on to someone who can.

Roozy123 · 28/09/2019 18:34

Oh fgs @Peakypolly after that comment because it was a light hearted JOKE that I should learn by now most can't take on MN.. I said "in all seriousness"

I even stated myself how I can climax that way so!??? 🙄

Roozy123 · 28/09/2019 18:35

@SignedUpJust4This hahaha amazing

Drabarni · 28/09/2019 18:35

So what's he going to do go round asking them all.
"Excuse me love" could you imagine it.

Can't he use his imagination, he must be shit in bed.

timshelthechoice · 28/09/2019 18:37

Another immature, selfish lazy arse who can't be bothered with foreplay then tries to blame it on you that he's a shite shag. He just wants to pump away. Does he use porn?

He's full of shit, of course, and I say that as someone who can climax from penetration and clitorally at the same time, multiple times.

Why are you looking for justification that in fact, your boyfriend is crap in the sack?

He's never going to change because he's not interested in women's pleasure.

Life is too short for shite sex.

CaMePlaitPas · 28/09/2019 18:38

I can and have but it's rare and takes bloody ages.

Just get rid of him OP, if he's not interested in your satisfaction he's not worth having sex with.

Musicforsnorks · 28/09/2019 18:38

he’d have to fuck off if he spoke to me like that.

But I must be in the minority then as I can’t stand foreplay and generally only ‘get there’ with penetration.

Can’t stand these ‘most women’ statements.

Derbee · 28/09/2019 18:38

Show him this thread.

And then dump him and go and find a partner who makes you cum, and is interested in what you want sexually.

I’d say a selfish little prick like him, who needs it pointed out that he does NOTHING to make you cum, or to help you cum is sexually incompatible with the vast majority of women

UnimpressorOfCocks · 28/09/2019 18:39

A substantial minority of women can orgasm through piv sex so it is entirely probable two of his ex's could.

That is not the issue though is it? The issue is that he is deflecting the conversation away from his need to learn how to help you to climax.

You are sexually incompatible for the simple reason that he couldn't give the furry crack of a rats arse about your sexual pleasure.

Butchyrestingface · 28/09/2019 18:46

Can’t stand these ‘most women’ statements.

Why? Those statements are factually correct, they’re not saying all women.

leomama81 · 28/09/2019 18:46

He has implied if we split he 'd meet a woman who does.

This is disgusting. And as PPs have said, how is he going to find this out? Is he saying he's testing other women out??

I would leave anyone who said this to me to be honest.

leomama81 · 28/09/2019 18:48

Oh sorry I misunderstood that. Still, it hardly paints him in glory. It is a bit emotionally abusive really, making you feel bad/ somehow lacking for something you can't do anything about, presumably because he feels inadequate..

PickAChew · 28/09/2019 18:50

Well you are sexually incompatible but only because he's too damned lazy and selfish to make sure you climax.

Peakypolly · 28/09/2019 18:52

Well @Roozy123 my survey of 3 was pretty lighthearted as well.

SavetheMinden6 · 28/09/2019 18:55

DW is like you OP so we found another way (no, I am not going into details) but it does not make us incompatible. What makes you and your DP incompatible is that he is a dickhead.

HTH

PrincessCarolyn · 28/09/2019 19:01

As discussed on other threads, it's not only porn which gives the impression that it's normal for women to orgasm with a few thrusts and no other stimulation, it's how sex is usually portrayed on tv and in movies, which doesn't help.

That said, he sounds very selfish OP, so I suggest ditching him unless you want a lifetime of catering to his needs while he ignores yours.

2girlsandagap · 28/09/2019 19:05

Sorry OP, it sounds like your partner is a shit shag and he’s trying to place the blame on you before you notice and leave him for someone who actually cares about his partners satisfaction.

By blaming you and making out you’re abnormal he’s making you question yourself rather than looking too closely at his performance.

I can orgasm during penetrative sex very occasionally but I prefer the orgasms from foreplay- surely the point is to take your time, have fun and enjoy each other rather than you feeling like you’re being compared to his ex’s and worrying about being inadequate whilst he’s banging away without any regard for you?

Btw I’d compare his ex’s telling him they came during sex with him to the lies you tell your partner if they ask that of course he’s got the biggest cock you’ve seen and none of your exes compare, that no you’ve never done anal with anyone else and you’ve never came so easily as you do with him.

It’s not always true but it’s a kind lie to boost their confidence. More fool him for believing them.

Whitejasmine · 28/09/2019 19:07

I’m surprised how many women are saying it’s a myth that women come from straight sex alone - I pretty much always climax through penetrative sex - maybe I’m just weird!!

jewel1968 · 28/09/2019 19:08

Before having children I couldn't but since giving birth I can and quite easily - too easily. I wonder what giving birth did to my anatomy.

dworky · 28/09/2019 19:09

So, he's a shit, lazy lover and he's blaming you?

Shodan · 28/09/2019 19:10

I can, and do, more or less every time, climax from penetration alone.

BUT. That's ONLY with DP. Every bloke before him, I couldn't- I needed a lot of foreplay first. DP has (ahem) the exact right attributes that suit me.

However, I do believe it is unusual (based solely on my own experience, if nothing else!) and he's talking horseshit. I think you'd be best off telling him that he doesn't meet your sexual needs, and 'most' men would be able to, so...