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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp says we're sexually incompatible because I can't climax from penetrative sex

420 replies

JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:25

He has implied if we split he 'd meet a woman who does.

I think that's delusional - because most women (who don't fake) can 't climax from penetrating sex. I read 75% or higher of the female population.

Aibu?

OP posts:
VictoriaBun · 28/09/2019 17:40

I think I'd be tempted to next time ( if you ever allow a next time ) to do an oscar winning massive scream and writhe around fake orgasm . Tell him to expect that from the fakers !

Butchyrestingface · 28/09/2019 17:40

we were discussing our sex life, I complained that he does nothing to make (or help) me climax, and that I get the impression he thinks I should climax from penetrative sex;

You are really selling this prince among men here, OP. What's his pick up of the household chores like?

I do hope you're going to show him this thread.

littlepeas · 28/09/2019 17:41

He’s utterly deluded.

Krisskrosskiss · 28/09/2019 17:41

Is your dp my ex? He was convinced that most women could climax through penetrative sex alone. Tried to spin me the line that all of the women he had been with had... I just laughed at him of course. Absolute madness.
Long a short of it was that he was just a pretty selfish lazy lover.

I have managed to climax through penetrative sex about 3 times in my entire life... and it was probably more because of pressure on my clitoris anyway... I couldn't be sure.... have had internal orgasms but not through penetrative sex iyswim without going into graphic detail!!! I think the internal female g spot is not located anywhere a penis could usually reach for some reason. Could only be reached by fingers in most cases. And often women get nothing from that anyway.

I have a high sex drive and I'm not repressed or anything... it's just not the anatomy most women have!! I'm sure there may be some lucky women out there who orgasm through sex alone....
I dont actually personally know a single one though... I do know women who cannot orgasm at all during any type of sex...
I do also know women who have faked orgasms... and I honestly think that what these men who bang on about women coming just from penetrative sex are actually talking about.... they just cant be arsed to put the effort in but want you to make them feel good by performing loudly for them...

I'd leave him to it tbh the lazy twat... bin him and find a man who knows how to really pleasure a woman.

WanderingMind · 28/09/2019 17:42

He disagreed and cited two of his exes who do/can

Crikey he's a prince among men, isn't he! No-one, just no-one ever compares sexual partners with a previous partner. I'd save him the angst of thinking about it and let him have his freedom to knob around without worrying if his partner is climaxing! Shock Tell him to get a blowup doll. It may suit him better.

Original poster
JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:43

Sorry I should make it really clear that he didn't say or imply her split up with me if he flu d a woman who could .. I posed the scenario that if we split he wouldn't easily find a woman who does and he disagreed. I was prompted by him.say ing were sexually incompatible (which I though was a flawed statement because most women would be, I'm more normal than not ( I think?).

OP posts:
minesapinkgin · 28/09/2019 17:43

I'd dump him first for being such a prick

Fraggling · 28/09/2019 17:43

He's a complete plonker.

Did it occur to him his friends may not be honest with their mates about their sex lives and/ or the women could have been faking.

He sounds shit in bed.

Original poster
JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:43

*found
*thought

OP posts:
Mrscaindingle · 28/09/2019 17:44

I can't believe 8% think YABU...Confused. Does he have any redeeming qualities OP?

Fraggling · 28/09/2019 17:44

So you said, let's do more in bed to make me come
He said, you should come from what i do, you're not normal
You said yes i am
He said, i can leave you and find women who do

He's not very nice is he.

minou123 · 28/09/2019 17:44

He disagreed and cited two of his exes who do/can.

Ah bless him. He believed them Smile
I'm sure there are maybe 1 or 2 women who can, but I very much doubt he found them.

YDraig · 28/09/2019 17:45

Sounds like he’s shit in bed tbh. No wonder if his response to “You don’t make effort to please me” is “well I wouldn’t have to with another woman.” 😂😂😂

Krisskrosskiss · 28/09/2019 17:45

Mate seriously. Leave him. You will never have a fulfilling sex life with this man. He doesnt care about or get off on your pleasure.. if he did hed be actively trying to make you come not just banging away at you and telling you it's your fault if you didnt.

katseyes7 · 28/09/2019 17:46

He disagreed and cited two of his exes who do/can.

l'd be asking him why, in that case, they were exes if he's so damn good in bed.....

HugTrees · 28/09/2019 17:47

Seriously leave him.

we were discussing our sex life, I complained that he does nothing to make (or help) me climax, and that I get the impression he thinks I should climax from penetrative sex

That isn’t a mutually enjoyable sex life, sounds like he’s using you as a blow up doll! Leave him.

64sNewName · 28/09/2019 17:48

You’re so normal OP, and he’s utterly deluded if he thinks you’re in a minority.

Original poster
JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:49

Bet they faked it.

I suggested that - because some women do (in fact I've seen some mn ers say they do, or have) but he said he knew they didn't. When we discussed it previously he mentioned one of them in particular ma king it very clear (being very hacked off) if she didn't do he knew she didn't fake.
The other we haven't discussed but he was adamant she did and he knew.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:50

l'd be asking him why, in that case, they were exes if he's so damn good in bed.....

I don't know about one but I know the other was a bit unstable and nasty ... Confirmed by other people.

OP posts:
Roozy123 · 28/09/2019 17:51

This is why you shouldn't fake orgasms.. because you create deluded men that walk around saying this stupid shit 😂

In all seriousness if my OH had said this to me I would have just told him to concentrate more on the fact he doesn't make ME climax that way.. regardless of who could.

He sounds like he wants to give a couple thrusts and make 0 effort in any other way- he's kind of acting like because you don't climax through just penatrive sex that that's it now... nothing more he can do lol.

He needs to learn some new things, male some effort.. stop being such a lazy arse.

Maybe show him/tell him what you enjoy!? Maybe he just has 0 clue

lyralalala · 28/09/2019 17:51

He responded that it wasn't and maybe we're not sexually compatible. My response was that that's bollocks because most women can't climax from penetrative sex and that would make him incompatible with the majority of women .. if we were to split, I doubted he'd easily find a woman who climaxes from penetrating sex. He disagreed and cited two of his exes who do/can.

I'd put my house on it being easier for you to find a man who gave a shit enough to make sure you climax than him finding a woman who climaces from PIV.

You're not sexually compatible because he's a selfish knob, not because you are somehow unusual (because you are not).

QueenofPain · 28/09/2019 17:52

Your partner is an absolute man baby and has probably only had sex with people who fake it 😂

StateOfMind · 28/09/2019 17:53

He sounds a absolutely crap in bed OP. He doesn’t make any effort to help you climax? Because he thinks it should just happen when he’s pounding away getting his own rocks off. What a prince among men.

I’m a bit Hmm at the posters going ‘oh I bet his ex’s were faking it’ though. Maybe they were but there’s no way of telling is there? And some women can climax through penetrative sex. I can - and frequently do.

User10fuckingmillion · 28/09/2019 17:53

m.youtube.com/watch?v=lNEX0fbGePg

Straycatstrut · 28/09/2019 17:54

I can but only if there's a lot of foreplay first. I thought that was the norm to be honest.

It's mad to think how many guys think sticking it in and out a bit equals pure sexual bliss for a woman.

Direct him to google and tell him to educate himself on the subject (and subject of fake orgasms).