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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp says we're sexually incompatible because I can't climax from penetrative sex

420 replies

JustWonderful · 28/09/2019 17:25

He has implied if we split he 'd meet a woman who does.

I think that's delusional - because most women (who don't fake) can 't climax from penetrating sex. I read 75% or higher of the female population.

Aibu?

OP posts:
AgentJohnson · 29/09/2019 18:12

It takes two to tango and given his general sexual selfishness he needs to be doing more if he wants you to climax from penetration alone. However, I wouldn’t waste my breath on this selfish idiot.

Tessabelle74 · 29/09/2019 18:15

He disagreed and cited two of his exes who do/can

And the Oscar goes to......
Seriously, I'm 45 and have NEVER climaxed from penetrative sex alone. If he thinks you can get most women off by sticking it in and wiggling around a bit then he's met some Sally level actresses! If he can't /won't help you reach climax first in some other way, don't let him have penetration until he ups his game

ElizaPancakes · 29/09/2019 18:17

He sounds like he has a lot of experience with women who fake it if I’m honest.

I’ve climaxed once that way. And I was on my own!

Phoebesgift · 29/09/2019 18:20

Well I can. Maybe I'm the freak!

PillowLid · 29/09/2019 18:33

Maybe you're not sexually compatible 🤷‍♀️

Vivianebrookskoviak · 29/09/2019 18:38

Wow, he's got ego problems hasn't he!

What a catch,not!!!!!

I'll bet he's one of these guys who claims to be able to satisfy every women he's ever been with yet I'll bet it couldn't be further from the truth. Angry

LostWithOutAMap · 29/09/2019 18:41

This is what is so wrong with women faking orgasms. We’re just making things worse for ourselves and all of women kind!!!

“My ex used to cum several times in 10 minutes” 🙄 yeah, course she did love. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Binforky · 29/09/2019 18:41

I thought it was well known most women couldn't. I've never climaxed any way so I'm a bit odd but have heard most women don't that way.

He also sounds like an asshole talking about previous partners.

GladAllOver · 29/09/2019 18:42

Haven't RTFT but I'd tell him that my previous partners had all given me an orgasm or two and he needs to up his game.

Tonnerre · 29/09/2019 18:49

I remember once reading something by a man who claimed that, whenever he had sex, he wouldn't climax until his partner had had at least ten orgasms. I could just imagine the unfortunate woman lying there thinking "FFS, just get on with it".

CantstandmLMs · 29/09/2019 18:49

You deserve better! Someone who actually wants to pleasure you.

TheFastandCurious · 29/09/2019 18:52

This is the reason so many women DO fake orgasms. The never ending pounding that makes you sore while they stare at you expectantly. The insecure questioning about ‘what’s wrong’. Tales of exes who had multiple orgasms. (You know the poor woman was doing the same thing as you just to get left alone)

You either have to be in it for the long run or be with a man who’s very secure in himself and isn’t just trying to make you come for his own fragile ego to bother putting in all the effort to have a real orgasm sometimes.

666onmyhead · 29/09/2019 18:54

Lmao . Just tell him you can only do that on a bigger penis . His fault obvs !

DistanceCall · 29/09/2019 18:54

He does realise that you can do both things as the same time, yes? (i.e. penetrate vaginally and stimulate the clitoris).

Christ what a pillock.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 29/09/2019 18:55

So he's been with a lot of women in the past who've faked it, then? Poor dear, having his illusions shattered.

You're not BU, OP, he is.

Twinkled · 29/09/2019 18:57

Make your mind up that he is not for you. He would find someone else! what a selfish man he is. He also sounds sexually inexperienced with a fragile ego. Get rid. Ugh

Original poster
JustWonderful · 29/09/2019 18:58

I'd put my house on it being easier for you to find a man who gave a shit enough to make sure you climax than him finding a woman who climaces from PIV.

Unless my experience now were different than my experiences to date, you'd lose your house.

I have had 3 serious relationships and various casual 'things' and out if them all 1 fwb type guy was the only one to show any real concern that I wasnt climaxing and try to do anything about it - unfortunately he decided to rub my clitoris like it was made of steel (!) so I just asked him to stop and didn't persevere for various reasons.i do think my first short term bf thought I may have been climaxing if I made any real sounds of enjoyment during sex of fingering but never clarified with me whether I was or had. Other bfs have presumably thought that I seemed to enjoy the sex regardless of not climaxing ( which I did to some extent) and when what relatively little they did to try to bring me off didn't work quickly, were v happy not to persevere.

OP posts:
OccidentalPurist · 29/09/2019 18:59

I haven't RTFT yet but he's obviously only been with women who've faked it!

His ego may be so fragile huge that he'd unfortunately be happy continuing this delusion that he's a sex monster, while his partners slope politely off to finish the job themselves afterwards each time!

Original poster
JustWonderful · 29/09/2019 19:01

I remember once reading something by a man who claimed that, whenever he had sex, he wouldn't climax until his partner had had at least ten orgasms. I could just imagine the unfortunate woman lying there thinking "FFS, just get on with it".

Was it Sting?

It's such bollocks because you'd be asleep after one or two - so does he essentially rape sleeping women in this scenario?

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 29/09/2019 19:10

Oh, and I do climax from PIV (after foreplay). But that's not the point. The point is that everyone is different, and people should care about their partner's pleasure, whatever form it takes.

I would get rid, TBH.

Rachelover60 · 29/09/2019 19:15

This thread has become so amusing, especially this bit:

I remember once reading something by a man who claimed that, whenever he had sex, he wouldn't climax until his partner had had at least ten orgasms. I could just imagine the unfortunate woman lying there thinking "FFS, just get on with it".

What an idiot that man was.

Men only know what we tell them so I s'pose we should always be truthful. Who gives a fuck about orgasm anyway, that's not what it's about for most women. I've orgasmed in the past during intercourse but when I think of my most exciting, memorable sex, orgasm has nothing to with it.

FelicisNox · 29/09/2019 19:15

I'm with everyone else... he needs a wake up call!

And how does he know his ex's weren't faking it?

He either thinks WAY too much of himself or not enough of you, either way, he's a no from me.

StarB3 · 29/09/2019 19:16

I've had this trouble all my adult life. I don't orgasm easily - if at all either way. It's not because you aren't compatible, and he is being totally unreasonable about it. He shouldn't compare you to his ex's either. Some women just can't, no matter how much they or the man try, and it hurts the mans egos when they can't manage it. Never a thought to how the woman is feeling about it

TheoneandObi · 29/09/2019 19:22

I can, but less and less so as I get older (I blame the menopause). As a young un it was virtually a 100% hit rate. Now tho I appreciate my earlier luck far more, and I think It’s slowly dawning on OH that he may have to work a bit harder!

Geppili · 29/09/2019 19:27

He is so ignorant and ignoring of your body! See how quickly he reads this and whether he can apply his learning:

Women's Anatomy of Arousal:... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/057803395X?ref=ppxpoppmobappshare

Great book.

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