If you're going to be a CF, at least own it without making silly excuses and pretending that CFery is what everyone does
Or, if you want to have your own hang ups about money, that’s fine but don’t put that on everyone else. It is utter snobbery to put people down for having a different attitude to money. People shouldn’t hide behind words like crass and vulgar. Own your snobbery and at least accept your judgement for what it is.
I don’t get this silly little dance people are expected do do around this sort of stuff. “I know you are going to buy something, you know you are going to buy something, but we must pretend that’s not the case and both end up in a situation where we’d probably rather not be instead of being honest about it.”
It’s not grabby to invite a load of kids you barely know and accept gifts from them but it’s grabby to suggest money instead of plastic tat?
Then we have the ridiculous notion that it appears to be some sort of right for your child to have a gazillion gifts and how dare you suggest taking that away from them? So we are raising the next generation to be as wasteful and consumerist as we are, just because it’s so vulgar to talk about money.
When DD was five, we did a charity thing, I suggested it, she loved it, she does it every party she has. People have said it’s virtue signalling or some other such crap, I couldn’t care less. I would rather someone else benefitted from this ridiculous convention of “everyone must bring a gift” than have a playroom full of toys DD never looked at or touched, or that went straight to charity (as if doing that or re-gifting behind someone’s back is any less rude🙄)
If I was asked for cash, I’d stick it in an envelope and not give it a second thought. We asked for vouchers for our honeymoon if people insisted on giving us a gift, and I couldn’t give a crap how crass or vulgar people thought it was. If they want a wedding full of gifts they neither want nor need, that’s up to them.