But the OP has made it clear that her DH has spending money too. It's just that he spends his and she saves some or all of hers.
In the last 10 years both DP and I have had the same amount of spending money. He has spent every single penny of his, whereas I just naturally spend less so have saved the excess and have accumulated £20k in premium bonds over and above joint savings that I consider to be mine and mine alone.
We also have 3 or 4 foreign holidays each year, eat out a couple of times a month, run nice cars, don't worry about what we spend day to day, just fill the cars up when they are empty etc etc and it's like this more or less because our bills our low, we don't have DCs and I make sure we don't spend every penny we have - our household income is about £60k so above average but not typical Mumsnet megamoney.
Are people really saying that I should hand my savings over to him and say 'go buy another bike love'?
Why is it controlling to save the money and let it amass into a large sum, but perfectly acceptable to just spend it bit by bit? Eg by buying lunch and coffee every working day, hence frittering about £50 per week, £200 per month, £2k per year, £20k in 10 years, which is basically what DP has done, and probably what the OPs DH has done, plus other larger purchases combined with not actively spending in a 'moneysaving' way.