To think DH should have just made the fucking dinner?

[IncrediblyHangry]

Username may have some bearing on my feelings on this matter.

DH works until 2 today. I work until 4. We have a baby who is a year old. I have a half hour commute from work and do all childcare drop offs. DH has a five minute walk. I work four days a week, DH five. Usually he gets home later than me, so I do most bedtimes, make dinner five days out of seven.

On Fridays my mum very kindly takes the baby,and I'll often stay for a chat when I call in after work, which DH knows. I am never home later than half five.

Often I will meal plan, or leave eg marinaded chicken breasts in the fridge for dinner on Friday, which DH cooks, but not always. Today I came home at quarter past five, and DH was grumpy- he had tried to call me to see what I wanted to eat,I had not replied. I checked my phone, he called when I was driving. Bear in mind he has been home for three hours. I said I didn't mind and as it was his night he could choose what he wanted. He said "but you didn't leave any meat out, I didn't know what you'd want"

I told him that i didn't care what I ate, I just wanted, for one night of the week, not to think about it. I wanted to come home to a hot dinner which required zero effort or input on my part, as he does every other night of the week. Neither of us are fussy eaters, both are good cooks. I refuse to do his thinking for him. We live three minutes away from a well stocked shop. He marched out to said shop in a huff, and has just returned with fucking ready meal lasagne and waffles. I manage to cook from scratch. Baby can't really eat salty crap like that and really needs to be in bed for half six, she is hungry so he'll have to make her porridge. Aibu to think this is a fucking joke?

I, however, am saying nothing. I absolutely refuse to take this on, it's his job

Nah I would be fucked off too

It's refusing to take responsibility. Making op do the thinking. Keeping his effort to bare minimum.

Not on.

I kicked mine out and now I'm planning my fillet steak...

He could hit on the bright idea of a takeaway without me suggest it but no

YANBU. Stop doing the mental load of meal planning and shopping, especially on Fridays.

And on the other nights when he gets in at 7 he should either settle the baby (better anyway if either of you can do this) or cook some nights.

Yes, the type of waffles he bought make the difference between patio burial and living to cook another day.
Potato waffles=patio. I mean pasta and potato!
Sweet waffles=another chance as it’s pudding and y’know, he’s a bastard but there is pudding.

I don’t know what to do about the baby.

Nice one neverender

The reason I do dinner and bedtime is also so baby can sit at the table and eat healthy homecooked food at a reasonable hour, she is a monster if she isn't asleep by 7 so it makes sense to do it that way, and actually I don't mind. Except when he pulls a stunt like this, it's taking the piss

Potato fucking waffles

This gets on my nerves too. If I'm in first, I just get dinner on the go. If DH is in first, he waits for me as he 'didn't know what I'd want'.

Fucking annoying. Exactly the sort of thing my DH does when he wants to get out of a job. You're doing the right thing not rising to it and just eating what arrives.

Go for a drive, get some fish and chips, maybe eat then in the car to get some peace. Pick up a bottle of wine, drive home and salvage your Friday evening.

Leave him to his waffles.

Why not do batch cooking for the week at the weekend so you have a fridge/freezer stocked with everything for the week? Good food that you reheat in microwave in a few mins. Gives you much more time in the evening during the week.
Just watch out as it becomes addictive!

I mean, ready meal lasagne. Alright. I’ll eat it. Ready meal lasagne... with potato waffles. Why?!? He could have picked up a salad... or garlic bread perhaps? It sounds like a dick move.

Oh he is ridiculous. My husband doesn't cook, I should have realised this before I married him but stupidly didn't. Yours does and can cook. He should have done this, one or two nights a week is not a big ask.

He should eat those ready-meal lasagnes now, the waffles too. As he has food, you should just get yourself something that you like to eat, just for yourself.

He said "but you didn't leave any meat out, I didn't know what you'd want"

This. This could be my DH. WTH happens to men once they get married? This is your night to cook DH, after X years of marriage and a baby and eating my cooked from sratch meals 5 out of 7 nights per week, surely you have some flaming idea what to cook me for dinner tonight?

It's the same with the housework and grocery shopping. I have to make him a detailed list or else nothing will get done. 'DH you were off work today, why didn't you clean the bathroom?' DH: 'You didn't tell me to clean the bathroom' Surely you can see for yourself that it needs to be cleaned, why not just clean it?
'DH you didn't pick up any milk at the shop?' DH: 'No it wasn't on your list.' 'But DH you are the one that told me ''we're out of milk'' and that's why I said ''Oh well, we need a few other things from the shop as well'' and then handed you the list. Surely you knew to mentally add milk to the list?' DH: 'No you always tell me to only buy what's on the list.'

Eat the ready made lasagne tonight OP but going forward think about changing the schedule to where he takes on more responsibilities. Make it clear that it's his choice what he cooks for Friday dinner and you're ok with anything he chooses (which means he needs to prep the meat or whatever he's wanting to make).

Well I would have left a note on worktop, chicken marinading in fridge. Otherwise would have been a takeout. Which we occasionally have on a Friday when both tired.

My God there's some shit men, honestly they're like kids.
Are these supposed to be modern men, they were more capable and did more in the 80's and 90's, we're going backwards. Whose raising such useless human beings.

Bluetrews why, for the love of Mary, should I spend my weekend batch cooking, when my husband was sitting on his arse for three hours today, within a few hundred yards of a well stocked small supermarket, a butcher, a fruit and veg shop, and a wanky artisan bakery?

I know I am missing the point, but I really want potato waffles with cheese and beans for tea now 😆

I'm thinking there may be some confused messages here. You 'don't care' what you eat but when he gets a ready meal you really do care. He should pull his weight of course but I wonder if you are perhaps not as easy going as you think, hence his desire to check his plans with you?

Potato fucking waffles

YANBU at all. You shouldn’t have to do all the thinking for both of you.

Regarding 'horse' lasagne...depending on where you buy it there are supermarkets that pay companies to DNA test their beef products and check tracability so it doesn't have to be horse.

I wouldn't like to guess on how many individuals animals or the quality of the cuts used though....

corporate.marksandspencer.com/media/press-releases/2018/m-and-s-raises-the-stakes-with-unrivalled-new-british-beef-traceability-campaign

Mixed messages my arse

"don't care" for the past eight years has been loosely translated as "no, DH my love, I have no preference between curry, fajitas, or salmon tonight, you choose"

Not a ready meal lasagne - a cheap shitty one too- I'd be less surprised if he'd gone out and brought Hannibal Lector in as sous chef and he bloody knows that.