To think DH should have just made the fucking dinner?

[IncrediblyHangry]

Username may have some bearing on my feelings on this matter.

DH works until 2 today. I work until 4. We have a baby who is a year old. I have a half hour commute from work and do all childcare drop offs. DH has a five minute walk. I work four days a week, DH five. Usually he gets home later than me, so I do most bedtimes, make dinner five days out of seven.

On Fridays my mum very kindly takes the baby,and I'll often stay for a chat when I call in after work, which DH knows. I am never home later than half five.

Often I will meal plan, or leave eg marinaded chicken breasts in the fridge for dinner on Friday, which DH cooks, but not always. Today I came home at quarter past five, and DH was grumpy- he had tried to call me to see what I wanted to eat,I had not replied. I checked my phone, he called when I was driving. Bear in mind he has been home for three hours. I said I didn't mind and as it was his night he could choose what he wanted. He said "but you didn't leave any meat out, I didn't know what you'd want"

I told him that i didn't care what I ate, I just wanted, for one night of the week, not to think about it. I wanted to come home to a hot dinner which required zero effort or input on my part, as he does every other night of the week. Neither of us are fussy eaters, both are good cooks. I refuse to do his thinking for him. We live three minutes away from a well stocked shop. He marched out to said shop in a huff, and has just returned with fucking ready meal lasagne and waffles. I manage to cook from scratch. Baby can't really eat salty crap like that and really needs to be in bed for half six, she is hungry so he'll have to make her porridge. Aibu to think this is a fucking joke?

I, however, am saying nothing. I absolutely refuse to take this on, it's his job

But OP won't just eat things cooked from scratch - she ate a takeaway.

It's what you won't eat that makes you fussy not what you do eat. And a takeaway is made from scratch - just by someone else.

Why don't you just cook your normal meals next week but freeze your husbands portions and keep for you and baby. That way you have home cooked ready meals and don't have to think about what to cook every day. Let your husband plan and cook his own meals. Might make him think twice about being so pathetic.

'I read the OPs posts and it’s clear to me she is the one who prefers to cook from scratch. She wasn’t doing it because “poor me my husband demands it”. She does it because that is what she prefers to eat, being a fussy eater.'

A lot of processed food is made for profit, not for its nutritional value, and probably labelling it as food at all is sailing pretty close to the wind (I concede there are ready meals out there that are cooked from fresh ingredients, additive free and frozen when all but fresh).

I don't believe there is anything fussy about wanting to ensure that the food you and your family eat provides nutritional value and doesn't result in malnutrition, the various medical conditions associated with excess sugar, salt, fat, lack of fibre etc.
I would call that being educated and concerned about your health.
And yes, there have been times when I've been pretty skint and have fallen back on cheap convenience food. But that isn't the point of the post, which makes it clear that neither the OP or DH are in that position.

Sounds to me as though DH has taken it for granted that there would be something left for him to prepare, so he gave it no thought until it was time for him to start cooking, at which point he panicked. When it became clear it was too late to salvage the situation, he felt shame, and in order to shut down this uncomfortable feeling, he tried to shift the blame (deflection). His thinking brain may have gone offline (high emotional stress can disable the neo cortex which is required for rational thinking and organisation) and he just grabbed anything he saw in the shop without thinking.
Yes, I can understand this would be infuriating. It's just worth remembering that 'Sometimes people do things THAT annoy us, not TO annoy us.'

This is all described nicely in Emma's cartoon about Emotional Load - how women seem to be the ones who have to think about everything
www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic

Well as a dutiful wife you should actually cook for your DH- it’s what you signed up for.

@BrieandBougelet 😂