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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be upset my kid got told they was a waste of space

274 replies

Yeetyaga · 26/09/2019 18:59

Trying to be less identifying as possible but yesterday my child (secondary school) got called a waste of space and oxygen and I’m not quite sure how to feel about it. It seems to have possibly had an effect on my kid

OP posts:
WhatTiggersDoBest · 26/09/2019 19:28

The amount of denial here is staggering. Can you not see the cause and effect here? Hmm
I think you need to give your head a wobble. The teacher's response wasn't great, but YABU to be upset about that. You should instead be upset that you've failed your child so badly that they're getting sent out of lessons. I bet the rest of the class was so happy to have a quiet lesson for once without the class having to grind to a halt over and over while your precious offspring wrecked this poor class's learning.

Passthecherrycoke · 26/09/2019 19:29

I agree @mauvaisereputation. I’m surprised how many people are defending it. Entirely unprofessional rude and disrespectful. Like something that would’ve happened in my own crappy 1990s schooling

MsTSwift · 26/09/2019 19:30

I would be furious but not with the school. How on earth was your son behaving to prompt a professional trying to teach him and others to that strength of feeling?. Mortifying.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 26/09/2019 19:30

Try parenting him once in a while, maybe to have a little respect for the teachers.
You are a big part of the problem.

Expressedways · 26/09/2019 19:30

You can’t whisper across a room. That would be talking, probably quite loudly, so your DS doesn’t seem particularly credible. I wouldn’t complain to the school unless he’s willing to tell you what actually happened. Given he’s lying about what prompted him to be sent out, can you even be sure that the teacher actually said it? If she did say it then that’s obviously awful and really inappropriate, I just don’t think your DS sounds like he’s telling you the whole truth.

BarbariansMum · 26/09/2019 19:31

Maybe tell your child to demonstrate, through their behaviour and effort, that the teacher was mistaken.

Petrichor11 · 26/09/2019 19:31

YABU for being so bloody vague

It was a poorly chosen comment. But if your child in the upper half of secondary school is so badly behaved they’re being sent out of class then perhaps it’s one they needed to hear! They are a waste of space in a classroom (not in life in general!) if they’re messing around and disrupting everyone from learning. If it’s affected your child then maybe they’ll learn to behave in the future so they won’t get any more comments like that.

Perunatop · 26/09/2019 19:31

Amazing though it seems to a minority of teenagers, school is for their benefit so they get the qualifications to give them choices about their futures, and the opportunity to have a decent standard of living. Sometimes they need to be reminded of this very assertively. A teacher who is trying to teach 29 pupils who do want to learn may get frustrated with one disruptive pupil who not only does not want to learn and is distracting others, but the bottom line is that the real problem is with that child's behaviour not the teacher.

pikapikachu · 26/09/2019 19:32

I bet he's said far worse to his sibling or people at school.

I'm surprised that a 14-16 year old who has the cheek to disrupt a lesson with talking would care that they were called a waste of space. I bet that this is a regular thing or a last straw reaction to your child's behaviour. Whispering is quiet but he would've been audible to everyone between him and friend as well as those around him. Too many kids don't realise that their low level annoying behaviour isn't as harmless as they think and teachers will have it in every class every day and rightly get annoyed.
Don't contact the school and be that parent. Tell your son to save his chat for break

LemonPrism · 26/09/2019 19:32

Learn the word 'were'. Also if your child is the kind of child who gets sent out of class then he has most certainly told you many lies. Even good kids lie to their parents. I don't believe a teacher would say that unless the kid has driven him to his last nerve and back tbh.

Talk to the school, seems like your son might be a little shit.

Ohbuggerlugs · 26/09/2019 19:33

I would HATE to be a teacher these days. It all depends. I would love to know what actually happened, I don’t think that the OP has been told the full story. At the end of the day, to have been sent out of a lesson you have to have been acting out quite a bit.

DameXanaduBramble · 26/09/2019 19:33

Have a word! The poor teacher had had enough.

AloeVeraLynn · 26/09/2019 19:34

If your child was disruptive to my childs learning and needed sending out of lessons I would think them a waste of space too. Why should everyone else put up with it? Hopefully it will have an effect and they'll wind their neck in and learn. That seems unlikely however with you backing them up.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 26/09/2019 19:35

The teacher wasn’t very nice. No. But what was your DS doing to get sent out? Whispering my arse.

StroppyWoman · 26/09/2019 19:37

YABU

If this early in term your child is being sent out of lessons, s/he's being disruptive and disrespectful of the teacher and fellow students.
We're not talking about a fidgety 5 year old, we're talking about a teen.
I douth your teen's world will collapse because a teacher was so fed up with the behaviour and said something in frustration.

This is all deflection from either your teen for the wrongdoing or from you to avoid facing up to your child's poor behaviour.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2019 19:37

If I had come home and told my mum I'd been sent out of class for disrupting it, she quite rightly would've pointed out that I would've been a waste of space in the bloody class.

The last thing she or I would've done, would be to come over all precious and offended by it.

Live, learn and move on.

DameXanaduBramble · 26/09/2019 19:37

This reply has been deleted

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vanillaicedtea · 26/09/2019 19:38

If my child was misbehaving then I wouldn't care if a teacher said this. He needs to behave. It's a life lesson- if you annoy people, they usually will say something about it. He's lucky he wasn't put in a detention, or similar.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2019 19:38

Oh FFS Dame is that really necessary? Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 26/09/2019 19:39

What has that got to do with anything dame? Do you feel all superior now?

DameXanaduBramble · 26/09/2019 19:40

It’s only what you all wanted to say.

misspiggy19 · 26/09/2019 19:40

I really don’t see the issue here at all.

Teddybear45 · 26/09/2019 19:40

Your child keeps acting out in school and has been pulled up for behaviour many times. To be honest I wouldn’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth against the teacher and neither should you. You need to start enforcing school punishments at home.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2019 19:42

It’s only what you all wanted to say.

Well I'd certainly like to say something but it's not to the OP...

DameXanaduBramble · 26/09/2019 19:44

Good answer, Worra