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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be upset my kid got told they was a waste of space

274 replies

Yeetyaga · 26/09/2019 18:59

Trying to be less identifying as possible but yesterday my child (secondary school) got called a waste of space and oxygen and I’m not quite sure how to feel about it. It seems to have possibly had an effect on my kid

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 26/09/2019 19:14

How old is your child?

Tilltheendoftheline · 26/09/2019 19:14

sometimes they will do the ‘it wasn’t me ect’ but never have they made something up

Really?

crispysausagerolls · 26/09/2019 19:16

Sometimes teachers have enough of the bullshit a specific student inflicts on them.

Original poster
Yeetyaga · 26/09/2019 19:16

Secondary school ks4 age , trying not to be too revealing sorry

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 26/09/2019 19:16

If it's as your DS tells it then the teacher should not have said that about your DS, that was unkind. However I feel that the teacher's reaction doesn't tally with your DS just whispering across the room.

Talk to the school and get their version of events.

TeenPlusTwenties · 26/09/2019 19:17

You can't 'whisper across a classroom'. A whisper would be to your next door neighbour. Across the classroom is talking. Presumably when they have been told to work silently?

Maybe the teacher shouldn't have said what they did. But maybe your child should follow instructions? Suggest you focus on your child rather than the teacher.

TeenPlusTwenties · 26/09/2019 19:18

KS4! Tell your DC to get on and behave and not to disrupt lessons for others. They are 14 and doing GCSE work.

C0untDucku1a · 26/09/2019 19:18

So his behaviour was so poor he had worked his way through the behaviour system to being sent out.

HostessTrolley · 26/09/2019 19:19

I don’t think there’s any excuse for a teacher to speak to a child that way. The teacher is the adult in the situation, I know teenagers can be frustrating but it’s the job of the teacher to be mature and professional.

DriftingLeaves · 26/09/2019 19:20

Sounds like the teacher got it about right. Deal with your son's disruptive behaviour.

cosytoaster · 26/09/2019 19:20

It's not right but you've definitely not had the full story from your DC.

MitziK · 26/09/2019 19:20

14/15 year old carrying on a conversation across the entire classroom during a lesson? Thereby wasting both the teacher's and the other kids' time?

Sounds like the teacher is already fed up to the back teeth with them. Which isn't good this early in the term - focusing on the exasperated comments of the teacher, rather than the child's unwillingness to engage in GCSE education when the amount of time to the exams is measured in weeks and there is no leeway for weeks lost to 'whispered' conversations, isn't going to help your child.

Original poster
Yeetyaga · 26/09/2019 19:21

If I understand correctly , in my child’s school you don’t necessarily have to work through a behaviour system before being sent out but I agree it’s unacceptable but calling them ‘a waste of oxygen’

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 26/09/2019 19:22

He obviously cares so little about what the teacher thinks of him that he ends up being sent out. So why on earth would the teacher telling him hes a waste of space affect him? Definitely playing the sympathy card with you and it appears to be working!

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2019 19:22

If this has had an effect on your 14-16 year old, that sounds like a positive thing.

If he chooses to be disruptive and ignore the effect on everyone else, perhaps he'll think again now.

I couldn't get too fussed about it as a parent and I certainly wouldn't have been fussed as a 14 - 16 year old child either.

mbosnz · 26/09/2019 19:22

I'd be triple checking that was actually what was said, first.

GoldenEvilHoor · 26/09/2019 19:24

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SpaghettiSharon · 26/09/2019 19:24

Don’t say anything to the school. Focus on your child and getting him to behave - that should be your priority. Not stressing about a throw away comment from a teacher probably at the end of their tether due to the behaviour of a badly behaved student.

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in their droves. Jesus. Hmm

CactusAndCacti · 26/09/2019 19:25

Goodness me there are thousands of children of the same age as your child in school, no one is going to identify them or you so no need for all the vagueness.

No I wouldn't complain, because I wouldn't fight a battle that my child was responsible for. I do wonder if it was said in context of that lesson, so he is wasting a desk space that could be used for someone wanting to learn

Workingisntworking · 26/09/2019 19:26

I would be more concerned about how my child is behaving if I was in your situation.
How bad his behaviour must be for the teacher to feel like that

happinessischocolate · 26/09/2019 19:26

My DS pissed the teacher off last week and got sent out for the rest of the lesson.

I told him to suck it up and behave himself in future despite him saying he hadn't done anything, this week he got a commendation from the same teacher so looks like he's learning the lesson.

Teach your kids to respect the teacher.

IronicalCallSign · 26/09/2019 19:27

I think you're focusing on the wrong thing, op.

Why is your child being so disruptive that they're asked to leave the room?
You can't "whisper" across a room, that's minimising being disruptive to the surrounding students.

You've said yourself that you don't have all the info.

But what you do know is that your child was told to leave, thereby interrupting their education. I suggest you focus on that as an "oh shit, what's going on" call to action...not getting so aggrieved over something that your potentially disruptive child has told you about their teacher. It sounds designed to get you riled up about the wrong thing (your child's behaviour), and it's working beautifully.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 26/09/2019 19:27

Interesting so many posters have made the assumption this was a boy, when the OP has not indicated her child’s sex.

If the teacher did say that, they were out of order. You can - or should be able to - discipline a whispering/talking child without insulting them.

mauvaisereputation · 26/09/2019 19:28

I don't think it matters what the child did. The teacher shouldn't say something like that. I'd complain.

Justmuddlingalong · 26/09/2019 19:28

The other pupils and their parents might disagree with you OP. They're there to learn and any class disruption affects their learning. Your child was one such disruption. I'd get the teacher's side of the story before blindly accepting your child's explanation.