Teen advice makes me worried

[ChipOnMyOvary]

I was reading this advice page for teenagers. AIBU to think it is a bit ott?
I find it a bit like girls are expected to put up with male mores. Am I a modern day Mary Whitehouse, or is this like actual grooming of pre-16 girls?

Datun I think you are fully aware of the context in which I made that statement. Neither of those things you mentioned involve consent let alone enthusiastic consent do they?

^Normalising fisting to children' this is what I mean about moral judgement and emotive language.
It's not doing that is it.^

Yes, that's exactly what it's doing. In the nauseating "down with the kids" way I mentioned with grim childish language.

“A genuine attempt to inform in a matter of fact unthreatening way about things teens might hear “
Whereas I hear the “down with kids” tone and I think of Jack, the so friendly Dad who raped my friend for over a decade and tried to groom me.

If a child hears the word fisting and wants to look it up, the urban dictionary is a good place to start. It shouldn't be taught in school because it makes it seem fun and entirely normal sexual practice. It isn't.

This is straight up grooming. The writer knows that a 13 year old girl would find the idea of felching uncomfortable and would probably be pretty disgusted by it, so the way they get around that is to say that sex generally is disgusting - everyone has sex, sex is normal, therefore everyone is doing something disgusting, therefore you are the strange one for being uncomfortable.

Sex is not 'icky and disgusting' and kids shouldn't be being told that it is. I mean, 'icky' FFS.

And on the one hand the assertion is that 13 year olds are perfectly well equipped to be able to deal with learning about fisting and eating shit during sex, but apparently not equipped to be able to deal with the words 'penis and vagina' so the words 'bits and willy' are used instead - again Paedo Alert!

I do not agree that providing brief info about something in the context of a website about the topic, is 'normalising' it.
It's hardly a promotional campaign suggesting everyone 'try fisting' is it?
It's a list of terms teens might have heard with a brief 'down with the kids' (yes that irritates me too but that's how most of these types of things are written) description

The urban dictionary is completely unreliable if you are sending your teen to the urban dictionary for facts you've got a big problem there

I didn't notice any safety advice.

I noticed the 'more lube' comment.

I noticed the odd lack of safety information and risks so that youngsters know whats involved properly.

Its the whole gross tone. Just awful.

It does absolutely make moral judgements, it does promote and normalise perverse risky behaviours without highlighting the risks.

Agree PeterRouse the whole thing is so deeply creepy . It should have its own paedo claxon.

Datun I think you are fully aware of the context in which I made that statement. Neither of those things you mentioned involve consent let alone enthusiastic consent do they?

So you're saying that my moral judgement works in the case of the 12-year-old who is watching pornography all the live long night, but not in the case of a 13-year-old being fisted?

Is it that magic number, kriss ? 13?

Krisskrosskiss - so you tried anal at 16.. " but also because i was interested which i guess come under the bracket of 'people do it so it must be enjoyable'...."

So with your kind of thinking, young teens will hear about fisting, anal, shit, and all those other extreme practices mentioned on the website aimed at age 13+, and try them because 'people do it so it must be enjoyable'. They might think if this sex education site says that teens do it, well i will too, it must be ok.
It's nasty insidious grooming.

As I said before I've had a lifetime of great sex doing none of those things. Because thankfully my sexual boundaries weren't eroded by adults while I was young, that was actually the one part of my life where I was able just to be me, and explore more or less in my own time.

It's not just a list of terms kriss. It tells girls they might want to have a bit of a think about why they want a woman HCP and that objecting to porn is a bit silly and small minded (after all we watch films to make us laugh so why not watch porn?).

These are techniques designed to erode boundaries. To make girls question the boundaries they have as reasonable and a bit uptight.

It's grooming. If you can't see that, you're rather naive

Because thankfully my sexual boundaries weren’t eroded by adults when I was young, and that was actually the one part of my life where I was able to just be me, and explore more or less in my own time

This is what I want for my daughters. Not some creepy adult man who has watched porn his whole life suggesting stuff to them.

If a child hears the word fisting and wants to look it up, the urban dictionary is a good place to start. It shouldn't be taught in school because it makes it seem fun and entirely normal sexual practice. It isn't.

This.

Charley50 yes... but I also went on to say that I felt that idve been less likely to agree to it if I'd had more information about it. I also think that if I'd had that info and I had agreed to it I would not have had as bad of an experience as I did with it.

Shouldn't we be all for promoting that kids find out for themselves, and feel confident to avoid anything and everything they're not ready for?

Its a massive leap to go from your first kiss at maybe 13 or 14, to be aware of shitting, vomitting, being fisted etc. How terrifying!

The way its talked of is as if all normal, without any risks!

Thats wrong, really wrong.

How do some feel ok about the language and tone of that.

These are techniques designed to erode boundaries. To make girls question the boundaries they have as reasonable and a bit uptight.

It's grooming. If you can't see that, you're rather naive

This.

Porn is empowering, don't ask for a female doctor, because it could be a waste of resources (even though a male doctor will require two people, not one, so that's completely wrong), listen to this 12-year-old girl who has been masturbating to porn all night (this is completely illegal, by the way), fisting, felching, Arabian goggles, anal, scat, The list is endless.

And by the way, I'm also going into schools and giving six year old children compulsory lessons about self stimulation. Compulsory. You can't take your child out.

But nothing to see here.

OrchidinTheSun I didnt see the bit about the HCP?

The porn stuff... i think is more about not wanting to be judgemental or make any teens who have watched porn ashamed or worried about talking about it... it's a difficult line to tread... they cant be too judgemental or political about anything in this type of info because you risk alienating large groups of teens you are trying to reach. So it's simply describing why people might watch porn.
I do agree there should be more info included on why some people might have an issue with pornography and dislike it.

Its compulsory, lessons in school on self-stimulation!

I feel fucking violated hearing that

I do agree there should be more info included on why some people might have an issue with pornography and dislike it

It's not the place of educators to sexualise children. Pornography is harmful.

At 6!

Leave children alone. They don't need strangers talking to them about their private and most intimate of moments experiencing their own sensations for themselves.

Its personal, it's intimate, and its no other fuckers business.

I am also imagining the utter ghastliness of nice Mrs Keeler, the school nurse, having to have a lovely chat with us all about fisting..

Nor do 13 year olds need to be forced to learn about fisting and sex play with shit.

The page on porn:

"To date there has not been a signal piece of recognised research to show conclusively that porn is in any way addictive or causes any sort of psychological harm to people who watch it."

"surprisingly porn these days is actually quite diverse as it caters for every taste imaginable."

"in fact female porn stars have higher self-esteem and job satisfaction than the average population."

"There is this idea that people who work in the sex industry do it because they are forced or have no other choice and there are people that this is true for, but the vast majority do it by choice."

"places where porn was once banned or highly restricted that have now allowed pornography to be more easily and widely accessed have seen a dramatic drop in their sex crimes."

But neglecting to conclude that it has led to talking to 13-year-olds about fisting and playing with faeces, and is roundly endorsed by a 12-year-old girl who masturbates all night and fancies their female teacher.

Excellent.

It's sooooo blatant! How can people be this blind?