To think that we shouldn’t have to pay MIL back

[Alohabelle]

DH and I have a dog (let’s call him Hector) which MIL looks after for two days in the week when I’m at work (I’m part time). This arrangement came about because MIL offered. She had recently retired at 55 and had intended to get a dog of her own, so said this would work perfectly. She’s just down the road, so we take Hector to her in the mornings and pick up after work in the afternoon. Technically he’s still a puppy (just over 1yo) so there has been the odd issue over the last year at MIL’s with shoes and other possessions which have been left within reach being chewed. Initially we compensated MIL for the damaged items as we felt responsible, but as time went on it was starting to become costly and we discussed the importance of puppy proofing, which has worked for us as we have never any damage at our home. Items continued to be damaged as a result of MIL leaving cupboards open, boxes of things on the floor etc. and we've felt more reluctant to continue paying for replacements despite MIL’s hints. We’ve asked MIL whether she’s finding the dog too much as we can revert to doggy day care, but MIL claims that she absolutely loves having the Hector and would be upset if those plans changed.

The other day MIL had forgotten that she’d left a kitchen cupboard open and had gone out in the garden. She came inside and realised that Hector had eaten the food in the cupboard and needed emergency attention at the vets. The bill was in the hundreds which MIL is asking us to pay for. Our insurance excess doesn’t warrant claiming and we are very reluctant to pay, as in our view this caused as a result of MILs error and she doesn’t seem to be learning from previous mistakes.

DH has pointed out how much money we save on day care by MIL having Hector, but MIL offered, we didn’t ask. AIBU in thinking we still shouldn’t have to financially compensate MIL for damage and vets bills when she has failed to ‘dog proof’ her home?

If it were me, I wouldn't pay.
I'd explain to her that despite it being your dog, this occurred as a result of her actions & she should be covering the vet bills.

I'd also tell her that since she has ignored your request for her to puppy proof the house, you can't leave the dog with her anymore. You can't risk another episode of this - what if it was something worse & she didn't realise he'd eaten something he shouldn't?

Deffo look at doggy day care. Ps, if you're in York I'd have him 😁😂

I actually think your mil should pay half the vet bill, and I definitely would not be leaving him in her care anymore. What did Hector eat to make him that poorly out of interest?

I think you should pay the bill and then not leave your dog there anymore , it could have eaten something that killed it .

I too don’t understand how, if the vet bill is in the hundreds, your excess makes it not worth claiming. The excess for a young dog is usually quite low. Certainly not in the hundreds.

Pay the vet bill and don't let her look after the dog again. She obviously isn't coping and aside from all the money it's costing you I would be quite worried about the well being of your dog in her care. You've tried to talk to her about it before and she hasn't listened. What more can you do?

For your dogs safety, it would probably be best reverting to doggy day care, as your Mil can't cope.

The thing is, though she looks after Hector a couple of days a week, it's not the same as when you actually own the dog and live with the dog and you get into the habit of fully doggy proofing the space and constantly being on the lookout for things that could go wrong. She's still not got into the habit of always shutting the cupboards, always making sure he's somewhere safe, always being on the lookout... because most of the week she hasn't actually got a dog.

Think it's just one to put down to experience and I'm sure she's mortified and now will have the sorrow of not getting to look after Hector any more. No need to make her pay the vet bill too.

I also think Hector is an excellent name for a dog, btw.

Your dog your vets bill.

There wouldn't even be a vet bill if the MIL had done what she was asked to do.

There wouldn't even be a vet bill if the MIL had done what she was asked to do.

They know the MIL is negligent and choose to leave the dog in her care anyway. OP and her DH need to take some responsibility for where they choose to leave their dog.

MIL has sat by and watch the dog become destructive - either the house isn't safe for a young dog, or MIL is being negligent by not supervising the dog properly. At 1yo the dog is very much a naughty puppy and needs pretty much constant supervision or to be in a safe environment.

OP knows this isn't happening but still lets MIL sit her dog. It was only a matter of time before a vet bill was the result.

If the bill is hundreds but not worth claiming on the insurance then I would be looking at why the excess is so high and if it can be reduced.

Your dog, your choice to keep sending him to her when you knew she hadn’t puppy proofed properly, your choice not to claim through your insurance/to have such a high excess that it’s not worth claiming. You need to pay the vet bill.

And then find doggy daycare. Ignore her protests, shes repeatedly proven she can’t keep the dog safe.

You need to give your head a wobble, OP.

No-one made you send your dog to your MIL. If you went for doggy day care you'd still have to pay the vet's bills and good luck with chasing DDC for liability on cupboards being left open.

You should cover the vets bill obviously.

But, I don't think your MIL is up to the task of looking after an energetic young dog and her negligence has placed him in danger. Please sort out some decent doggy daycare for him, you are being an irresponsible dog owner leaving with someone who can't cope.

I would pay the vet bill as it is your dog getting medical attention. As long as the dog actually needed to go to the vet and she didn't overreact and take him for tests he didn't need because he ate some bread or something.
I wouldn't replace the things he chews. She decided to bring a puppy into her house. Puppies wreck things. We looked after a neighbour's pets for 2 weeks whilst they went on holiday. They destroyed the carpet and an armchair. We did not mention it to the neighbours. We let the pets into the living room. That was our responsibility. If one of them had needed the vets whilst staying with us the neighbours would have had to have paid.

@Lulualla

Let's say her excess is £300 and the vet bill is £450.
Claiming would only save her £150 And then premiums will go up. There is no point in claiming for something that's just a few hundred. You claim when your pet needs surgery or tests which take it into the thousands.

Insurance bill will likely go up whether she claims over this or not, it's also likely any further stomach/digestive tract illnesses will also be excluded now, so using your example, quoted above I'd claim,

Not claiming then signing on renewal that your animal hasn't seen a vet in the previous year is fraud and would be found out during any future claims, potentially invalidating any insurance

I can see why you don't want to pay as she keeps causing these problems by not being responsible.

What did the dog eat that needed emergency attention?. Sounds a bit drastic to be honest. Did she rush him off to the vet unnecessarily?.

I am surprised that she wants you to keep paying for all her cock ups.

I would stick him back in day care.

Agree with you that you need to look for doggy day care.

MIL could inadvertently leave something out that could kill your dog. She is not looking after him properly and keeping him safe. There are many things dogs shouldn't eat!

Thank god you’ve learnt the lesson with a dog and not a child! She seems very irresponsible

Maybe she can have him back in a couple of years when he is through the 'puppy' stage

Your dog your vet bills. You left him knowing where he was staying was not doggy proof.

Think you should put doggy in daycare.

If something happened at daycare and he needed vets attention would you want them to pay?

I used to work full time, my dog went to my mums each day, if she was ill because she ate something she should not have done I paid.

I get not replacing items of hers she left out, but your dog, your bills

If you are that unhappy about it just move him to doggy daycare and be done with it. Mil can then get her own dog

I'd mostly be concerned about Hector's welfare. If your MiL can't keep things out of his way, then he isn't safe with her.

Pay the bill, and find a proper doggy daycarer. Your MiL can see him at your house, where you can supervise them.

YABU. Your dog, your vet bill.
You are responsible for this dog and that also means finding appropriate dogsitters when they are needed - eg. when you are at work or on holiday.
Your MIL has shown that she is not capable of ensuring the dog is safe. You have given her advice on how to puppy proof her home which she hasn't done. Your dog ate food out of a cupboard but it could just have easily been something which could have poisoned the dog outright.
No way would my pets be going to someone who had proved themselves incapable of keeping them safe.
Dog goes to doggy daycare from now on and not to MIL. Yes it costs money but at least the dog will be safe and you won't be forking out for vet bills. There's no need to get into arguments about who pays for damaged items either.

You'll have to pay as its your dog. However I'd be concerned about the chewing that the dog isn't being walked enough or being given enough attention and is bored. Get lots of toys for the dog to chew on and check with MIL regarding walking/being played with. Otherwise get a dog walker midway through the day

Oh and OP I think you or your DH should try and talk your mil out of getting her own dog too. She is clearly not responsible enough to have one.

A few years ago a horse near us died after being repeatedly fed inappropriate food by the public. The owners have put up CCTV and numerous signs warning people not to feed the horses and threatening legal action to recover vets fees. Which I think is fair enough.

In this case, it was the MIL's fault the dog was ill so she should pay - or at least contribute - to the vets bill. And the OP should stop leaving her dog there. Hopefully the MIL will realise the responsibility of dog owbership is beyond her and won't just go and buy her own dog.