Aibu to wonder if everybody life is like this?

[Laraaussie]

So today I got up at 6am, coffee, breakfast, then rushed around getting ready sorting kids eldest just sits around and does nothing unless told, no common sense, youngest 4yo spends all morning moaning and having tantrums because he can't get his socks on.

Left house, dropped dc at childcare, struggled through bad traffic to get to work. Left work, got stuck in unexpectedly bad traffic, was going to be late to collect dc so had to ring my mother who thankfully was able to collect them but I was super stressed.

Got home, youngest heads straight to the toilet for his usual after school poo, calls me to wipe his bottom. I then leave him to wash his hands while I have a tidy up, can hear water, he's left the tap running with the plug in and had flooded the bathroom, water pissing through the ceiling so I'm trying to dry it all up with towels while youngest is crying because he's flooded the bathroom

I nag eldest to pick up after himself as he leaves a trail of mess in his path.

I cook dinner, then go out to swimming lessons, more traffic, no parking spaces at busy leisure centre despite leaving in plenty of time we only make it in in the nick of time. After swimming queue for showers, people pushing in gives me the rage.

Head to shops for milk/bread top up, forget the bread.

Home, eat the dinner I've cooked, dh home by then, by the time we've cleared up, got kids to bed, sorted bags/uniforms for tomorrow, stuck a washing load on, we've just sat down.

I'm knackered and tomorrow I do it all again.

Yeah this sounds like my day, it's tiring isn't it, I get maybe 1 hour to have some down time before I got to bed :( and Iv not even done any housework either

Yep.
I’m just sitting down through exhaustion but know that I need to get back up to make lunches and put on washing.
It does feel like we should live better lives than this. I’m never sure that we have progressed forwards, more sideways.

Yeah it's hard. Always running on the treadmill- in fact the days race by because they are filled with all you mention. So I feel I can't even just stop and enjoy time. Enjoy the age the kids are.

Only thing that stood out for me - is dh around in the mornings?

Sounds like a normal day with young children to me. This is why it's bliss when your cherished, lovely children become young adults and move out. My life is a dream now.

Yep. Same here. Except I get up at 5.45 and if you’ve had time to go to swimming lessons then you definitely finish work before me! DCs 2 and 5, I love them to bits but I never thought it would be this stressful and exhausting.

Same here. I don't know how old your children are but I get the added bonus of a 15 year old daughter talking to me with sheer hatred and disgust. Other child at Uni moaning about how they don't like their modern, clean, paid for one bedroom flat. Where have I gone wrong.

It does feel like we should live better lives than this

I know what you mean. I'm ill at the moment, partly because of the busyness and not being able to rest and have proper down time.

Yup.
Groundhog Day here too.

It's just a relief to know that I'm not the only one, because some days it feels like I definitely must be doing something wrong.

Dh is around until 7am and to be fair, he does the sandwiches most mornings god love him.

Yep, my kids are a bit older but still have challenges every day.

Sounds about right
We have DS swimming lesson Wednesday and DD swimming lesson Thursday though.

Oh god! It's all coming back to me now. I remember when life was like that!

It's so stressful and exhausting, but be reassured that it won't be like that for ever, OP.

Hang in there, OP. The DCs will eventually become more self sufficient and one day they will leave home altogether. It probably seems a long way off but, believe me, life is short - and childhood is vanishingly short!

Of course, a few short years after your nest empties, theirs will start to fill and you'll be back on duty again, this time as a grandmother (but at least then you can hand them back when you've had enough!)

This was my day without kids and with an awful 4 hour a day motorway commute.
I said fuck this a few months ago applied for a new NHS job in a very rural county. Bought a new house 6k cheaper as it's not so expensive as the south east. Am buying a lovely rural home 10 minutes drive from work. Sold my house and am now looking forward to a lovely relaxed financially viable new life away from the madding crowd.
It was terrifying but I had to make it happen.
Sometimes you just need to change or you go crazy.

You’re not alone. I have three year old twins, a nine month old and I work three days per week. My husband has been away for almost two weeks. I’ve had some degree of illness since the start August: tonsillitis, then lost my voice, then various coughs and colds. I’m convinced it’s because I’m just permanently exhausted and never get a chance to properly recuperate. I’m sitting here now with a cup of tea, but in a minute I’ll have to get up and tidy the living room.

Exactly like my life. Dp works away and thinks ive got it easy because i finish at 2pm. I then rush 30 miles back to school, deal with kids, clubs, dinner, bedtime, washing etc... hes no bloody idea.
Then i get an hour or so downtime. Tonight however im sorting out a remortgage and trying to download/upload a gazilion documents that dont want to send, so im mumsnetting.

My days aren’t exactly the same as I’m a SAHM to a toddler. Dh out at work all week so no support until he comes home at the weekend. I’m so stressed most of the time I feel like my shoulders are up by my ears constantly.

@Laraaussie thanks for starting this thread as it's made my day I thought I was alone in the daily grind!!

All the other mothers at school drop off are calm and collected. I'm faffing with leaking water bottles, forgotten PE shorts and tantrums about having to go after school club. It is relentless and exhausting 🤪

Yup. Kids are much younger but it does just feel like a treadmill most days, and by the time you get to sit down you're just knackered. And that's just the basics. God knows when people have time to do the extras - deep cleaning, baking, DIY.

You try to do 'something nice' at weekends too, so they're not much better!

Hang in there. It does get better, especially if you can become self employed. It’s bliss

I understand where everyone is coming from but...

Maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves. If we need a break, that living room doesn’t have to be tidy all the time, just chill!

When my DS naps or is in bed for the night, yes there’s housework I could be doing but I need that time to just chill out for me. I try to potter round when he’s awake and playing with his toys.

Yep, pretty much my day too.

I’ve just sat down after helping with homework tonight and sorting laundry from the weekend that dh dyed grey 🙄
I’ve ended up bagging a load of toys as rubbish tonight ad a) I can’t be bothered to tidy them and b) they haven’t actually played with them, they’ve dumped them on the floor.

Brownies on a Monday, guides on a Tuesday. One horse riding on a Saturday the other tennis, dh takes dd riding.

I have next to zero downtime as dd1 doesn’t sleep until 11pm.

Yep - that’s my life too
But then they’ll grow up, leave home and we’ll give anything to have that life back ....

^*
You try to do 'something nice' at weekends too, so they're not much better!*^

This made me laugh out loud. Yes that's us, let's do 'something nice' at the weekend.

It's all just part and parcel of having dc isn't it, everyone else makes it look so easy though.

How old are your dc? Can the eldest help more? Do you do after school clubs every day or can you cut down?

When your dc are older they will be more independent and will do fewer after school clubs - or will be able to get themselves there.

Do online shopping and some easy meals to give you a break.

It sounds really tough OP. Is there anything you can do practically to make your life a bit easier? For example no showers after swimming (just have a bath/shower at home), a big loaf of bread in the freezer/UHT milk in the cupboard for emergencies, online grocery shop, easier meals of things like egg and chips one or more times a week? Apologies if it's all obvious/you're doing it already but sometimes with these things it's hard to see when you're in the middle of it.