AIBU - insecure about pregnancy and being unmarried

[meccacos2]

I’m 6 months pregnant and it’s become very noticeable.

Strangers look at me when I’m walking about and sometimes stare.

What has also become noticeable is people looking for my wedding/engagement ring and colleagues/family asking when I’m getting married.

The thing is, he hadn’t asked. He has brought it up himself and said the reason is because he hasn’t found a ring. Except he’s not looking for a ring. He hasn’t even asked what rings I would like.

He hasn’t proposed.

He said that he didn’t think I would want to do it “as you are now”. And that is so true. I just look huge.

I haven’t nagged or dropped any hints.

I feel entirely unimportant and inconsequential to his life.

I’m walking around getting fatter and fatter and feeling really insecure.

My boyfriend has even pointed out people staring at me.

I hate this scrutiny. I hate being so obviously pregnant and unmarried and constantly sick and he gets to walk around, still drinking, still completely unaffected by the entire thing.

He wants to go on holidays before the baby is here and all I can think about is the cost for a maternity wardrobe plus the time off work which I can’t afford.

I feel so resentful and sad.

I’ve told him I don’t feel secure and I feel very vulnerable.

AIBU to feel this way?

1. Also he joked continuously about abortion. ‘You can keep the baby- haha only joking. You went to counselling many times and he would backtrack.
2. That he planned holidays with his mates, drank excessively and was thoughtless to the point where for your birthday he gave you a voucher to a place you had specifically asked him not to. And then you paid for your own drinks on your birthday.

You do this on all your threads. You portray a horrific man. We all say, ‘oh my god, poor you.’ And then you backtrack and say ‘he’s wonderful, why are you asking me to leave him?’

You really do seem fixated on this. Much like my salary
Only because I know you haven't been truthful. Everything you say is either to justify your actions or garner sympathy. Even on your other threads you've misrepresented or lied about many of our services/welfare etc. You say something and then say you didn't. It's all right there OP. As far as your salary goes, I have no idea why you think I care about that.

I have no intention of brow beating anyone
BS. Again, read your own threads. You blackmailed him into staying with you. You acknowledged that yourself. If he wouldn't be with you, you'd adopt out the baby. That didn't work so you told him you'd be terminating even though you admitted you'd never be able to do that.

6 months ago you're posting about how your bf was pretty shit. Wouldn't prioritise you, wasn't over his wife etc etc. Then, surprise, you're pregnant. Then he STILL wasn't acting how you wanted him to so you kicked it up a notch.

Out of interest though,@CherryIceCreamSmile-how healthy is your relationship?You seem to be quite aggressive with your opinion of a perfect stranger, could such a behaviour extend into your private life so that you yourself has either kept someone in a state of abject misery or pushed them away?
You tend to accuse posters who call you out as being 'aggressive' or 'nasty' but just to reassure you, my relationship is stellar. No blackmail, no manipulation. All good.

The only reason I ask is, you seem to be getting a great deal of enjoyment in tearing apart my comments and looking for cracks in any statements I’ve made
I can assure you that there is no enjoyment. I find it quite sad. This thread alone is full of contradictions and manipulation. I doubt anyone is actually staring at you because you are unmarried but it's a good stick to beat him with. "he won't commit, I won't go on holiday" and any other variation thereafter. Rereading your threads has made me realise how unwell you actually are and I think it's best not to engage anymore. I'll keep your baby in my thoughts as that is who I feel and fear for. All the best

HuloBeraal
I thought I was right that they were rocky and the relationship was on the verge of breaking up! Your memory is better than mine.

Cherry
I'm glad you remember the messy divorce and the subsequent drama.

From the rewriting of history I've just had I started to wonder if I'd got some threads mixed up after months, but we all seem to be on the same page.

Sadly, we'll probably have another thread in a few months when an unplanned pregnancy in a rocky relationship means the relationship isn't working and then everyone will give advice, only for 10 pages later to be told the relationship is great, he's a fabulous dad etc.

I hope the OP gets some support and help for the sake of her and her child. This doesn't sound healthy.

What Lola and Bells said. You come across as needing some serious professional help. It's very sad for the child being brought into this. Personally, it sounds like you got pregnant accidentally on purpose to keep this man in your life.

Now you’re catholic? Blimey OP you’re not a very good one are you? 😭

I found towards the end of my pregnancies my fingers would get a bit swollen so often I wouldn't wear my rings. People sometimes just like bumps but don't think anyone would be looking to see if your wearing a wedding ring ?

Your life is unravelling, each of your posts is progressively more and more manic with extra anxiety and challenges each time you write. Being a little overwhelmed in pregnancy is entirely normal but you are falling apart. I've no professional medical training so I can't say why. I suspect it's complicated. I suggest you talk to your gp today.