To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

@Tilltheendoftheline I understand your opinion, but I'm also stating mine. He might be in recovery, he may be an addict. She may have taken advantage, but there's a possibility that he did. Maybe both of them wanted to fulfil their own needs. The point it, none of us know because we weren't there.
Both of them need help. No one turns to drugs or sleeping with younger men (presumably) if they are happy/in a good place

So far this week on mn we've had DV minimised and now we're asked to consider the emotional fragility of someone that fucks their mates kid

If it was my son I would go absolutely postal. Yes, it's legal. But god help me both of them would be getting it with both barrels.

No one turns to drugs or sleeping with younger men (presumably) if they are happy/in a good place

Well, I'd agree on the drugs but, at the risk of repeating myself, I like younger men. I'm in an exceptionally good place.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace sorry I didn't mean to imply otherwise, I just meant in this situation given the info from the OP

@Neron and I am disagreeing with your opinion.

She is a grown mature woman
We know now that the brain isnt mature by 18. Not by a long way.

A 37 year old making poor decision, including shagging her mates kids who she watches grow up, is very different to an 18 year old making poor decisions.

Have self esteem issues doesnt excuse it.

No I wont consider the emotional well being of a mature adult, who shags and 18 year old who she watched grow up and is friends with his mum.

I had an abusive childhood, abusive marriage, have been rapaed and all sorts of problems. I am 37. I am responsible for my own actions and consquences. I dont do dodgy shit them place the blame at the feet of an 18 year old.

now we're asked to consider the emotional fragility of someone that fucks their mates kid

It beggars belief. Bet we wouldnt be asked to consider the fragility if it was the man next door that shagged a vulnerable 18 year old girl, the daughter of his friends. Cause the poor puppet has had a bad time of it.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace as someone who has also slept with a younger man, I agree that there isn’t anything wrong in principle about sleeping with someone younger than us.

However I think we need to take responsibility and be aware that even if something is legal, it isn’t always a good thing. A child who has only just become an adult is still very emotionally and physically immature. There are ‘grey areas’, and I do think being in over 30 and sleeping with someone 22 or younger is a grey area and we should be careful.

In my early 20s I slept with a couple of men in their early 30s, I married one!

I doubt she groomed him. I imagine it was drug or drink fueled

“It beggars belief. Bet we wouldnt be asked to consider the fragility if it was the man next door that shagged a vulnerable 18 year old girl, the daughter of his friends. ”

@MarshmallowHeat

Great post. I could not agree with you more. I did refer to my 'moral compass' in a previous post.

I'm just trying to dispel the myth that those of us who like younger men stand around the college gates trying to entice young men into our mid-life crisis cars

I'm sure this is just my opinion, but being a 20 year old, I couldn't bring myself sleeping with a 18year old, as most of them are literally children still mentally. Each to their own I guess...

I doubt she groomed him. I imagine it was drug or drink fueled

That's even better. A 37 year old getting drunk or high with an 18 year old and then shagging him.

What a night of fun that is.

There are ‘grey areas’, and I do think being in over 30 and sleeping with someone 22 or younger is a grey area and we should be careful.

Absolutely. Especially as I'm older than 30. An awful lot older

It's inappropriate. The rule is: Over 18, plus seven years.

18 year old man.

NOT 18 year old boy.

And it's none of your business.

It's inappropriate. The rule is: Over 18, plus seven years.

Is it really? And where can I find the official version of that rule?
Or does it exist merely on your say so?

Of course I’ve tried helping her but at the end of the day she has to be willing to help herself. I can’t go out every weekend with her to stop her making bad decisions and I am tired of repeating myself and listening to her making the same mistakes. She’s clearly unhappy and depressed, not sure if shes got a sex addiction or whether she’s trying to make herself feel better. I am annoyed shes crossed a line with a friend and lied about it because it makes me question her morals it could have been me. Im angry because shes in self destruct mode and involving others too and not totally realising her the impact of her actions.

And it's none of your business.

It is when the woman has brought her into it looking for sympathy.

She doesn understand the impact.

She just doesnt care.

Its frustrating giving the same advice and watching someone make the same mistakes over and over and over.

I assure you I'm not on a windup the man does have a sex life. And it's his business.

This man may have a sex life. But he chose to have it with his mums friends.

Therefore, she has a right to an opinion.

My best friend is 27. My ds is 8. Damn right I will have an opinion of she shags him in 10 years.

I would be disturbed by this just as I would if sexes were reversed. I wouldn’t be friends with this person.