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Original poster

To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

243 replies

Dickorydockwhatthe · 21/09/2019 23:01

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

OP posts:
NotGreenNotKeen · 22/09/2019 08:03

That's horrific

MoonageDaydreamz · 22/09/2019 08:07

Yes it is gross, I am that age and can't imagine doing that with someone I'm old enough to havd given birth to and may still be at school (doing a levels). Also can't see any appeal from the boy's point of view other than being an easy lay (in your friend's case).

She's done something most people frown upon (whether the 18 year old is male or female, or hetero/homosexual) and even more she's broke the friendship code, no one should be sleeping with their friend's kids.

It would make me cool the friendship I think.

Scentsandsensible · 22/09/2019 08:08

Can’t believe people think this ok. It’s not about the age gap (though I’m 37 and can’t see why anyone would be interested in an 18 year old), it’s about the fact that it’s her friends son.

If she wants to shag 18 year olds - don’t do it with ones who you’ve seen grow up - it’s weird and of course will destroy the friendship.

That said - op is she a bit on the vulnerable side? From your updates it sounds like she may have some issues. Sane, together women just don’t do this.

lyralalala · 22/09/2019 08:25

It's also seriously off that she lied about it. I hope she didn't cause any rows between the lad and his mother.

Tellmetruth4 · 22/09/2019 08:27

If the sexes were reversed we’d be calling her what she is - a pervert. She knew him from when he was knee high. She probably groomed him. She isn’t vulnerable, the 18 year old is.

Sux2buthen · 22/09/2019 08:27

@Tilltheendoftheline it might feel like it is but in reality, her sons sex life really isn't her business. Fair enough, she doesn't like it and that's understandable. But, still not really her business.

Tellmetruth4 · 22/09/2019 08:34

Sux2buthen is on a wind up. The boy hasn’t got a sex life with this woman. She watched him grow then pounced when her shenanigans wouldn’t result in a custodial sentence.

thaegumathteth · 22/09/2019 08:38

I'm 38 and quite a few of ds's friends have older brothers who are 18. There is NO WAY I would see them all in a sexual light at all.

Very wrong and the fact she doesn't see that would have me feeling very very wary of her.

MollyButton · 22/09/2019 08:43

Personally, she would be an ex-friend - and I certainly wouldn't be there for her.
I also have issues with 37 year old men with 17 year old girls, and 37 year old men and 17 year old boys.

And yes my son has friends, and my friends have sons who are very good looking - but that is not somewhere I would ever dream of going. (And feel guilty even noticing they are good looking.)

katewhinesalot · 22/09/2019 08:43

I remember hearing about quite a few guys having sexual encounters with women in their 30's, whist at uni. It seemed to be a rite if passage.

But doing it so close to home. Yuck.

Ginger1982 · 22/09/2019 08:44

Grim. I can't think of any reason that I would be attracted to an 18 year old and I'm 36. Worse that she has known him since childhood.
Equally yuck when sexes are reversed.

Unknownanon · 22/09/2019 08:45

Yanbu it's grim, especially when adding that she's known him since little and he looks little (underage) too.

She's also a fucking idiot to shit on her doorstep and moan to you when your mutual friend is upset. Not to mention that you, also with a teen son, would be uncomfy with this and wary of her now.

Tilltheendoftheline · 22/09/2019 08:47

@Sux2buthen her sons sex life may not. She is fully entitled to make a judgement on a woman who was welcomed into her home, watched her son grow up, then had sex with him who incidentally is now saying it's his fault.

I would be very concerned if anyone said they regretted sleeping with my adult son and yard the excuse 'it's his fault, he came on to me'. What are implications of that? Why couldnt she say no?

The mother has every right to make a judgement.

Twinkles72 · 22/09/2019 08:51

Don't see how it affects you?

BenjaminH · 22/09/2019 08:53

I was 19 and she was 41, was I taken advantage off?

Tilltheendoftheline · 22/09/2019 08:54

BenjaminH possibly.

ASauvignonADay · 22/09/2019 08:55

Urgh, sounds disgusting. I can't imagine wanting to have sex with an 18 year old 🤢

lyralalala · 22/09/2019 08:59

I was 19 and she was 41, was I taken advantage off?

Did she know you when you were a young child? Watch you grow up?

If not the circumstances are totally different.

MegaClutterSlut · 22/09/2019 08:59

I'm 37 and if any of my friends slept with my Stb 18 year old I would lose my shit. They'd be cut straight out of my life! Its wrong on so many levels

lyralalala · 22/09/2019 09:01

There's a huge difference between two adults who meet in a bar and have one off sex and two adults with a massive age gap, and potential power dynamic, where one has watched the other grow up having sex.

Especially when the older one isn't even mature enough to admit it when asked, but opts to lie to her friend.

BarbariansMum · 22/09/2019 09:03

Just because something is not illegal that doesn't make it morally right, or socially acceptable. Or less revolting. The idea that your friends children become fair game once they hit 18 is just appalling.

Schoolchoicesucks · 22/09/2019 09:03

Ugh, a friend's best man had a relationship with the friend's dsd. She was 17, he was 35 and had known her since she was 5 and he was 23.

It destroyed the friendship and contributed to the breakup of friend's marriage.

The age gap couple are now married with 2dc. Friend is godfather to the DC and has maintained a relationship with his former dsd. He tolerates his former friend. The dsd and her mother have a strained relationship.

It's beyond grim to me. Even if it was a wholesome love story to them.

Original poster
Dickorydockwhatthe · 22/09/2019 09:11

It doesn’t have anything to do with me but I was annoyed with her because I’ve warned her about sleeping around especially with younger men and then moaning about them using her. Its tiring repeating myself she definitely needs help. Shes not always careful either so it worries me. But i feel annoyed on behalf of the mother and the fact shes trying to justify it saying he came on to her etc so whys her friend annoyed at her. If it was my son id kill her, also as the mother and being her friend I bet shes worried about whether they’ve been careful etc i know that would be my first thought!! Legally its fine but morally so wrong, he’s got issues himself with drugs and he looks like a young boy.

OP posts:
WanderingMind · 22/09/2019 09:13

18 year old is an adult.
Age of consent is 16.

It's no one else’s business who anyone over the age of consent chooses to have sex with. That's between the couple involved.

Fyngal123 · 22/09/2019 09:16

Personally I think the issue here is that she had known him since he was a child and was a neighbor and friend. This lady might have babysat him, changed his nappy as a baby. Was she grooming him all this while? And just waited to ensure she won’t have to sign a register. Who knows what happened before he turned 18? I find it worrying.

Two random strangers that happen to have a 19 year age gap fine if that’s what they want but a child you helped raise and watched grow gross!