To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

Wow im
With you op. Was there grooming involved do you think, since she has watched him
Grow up?

Yanbu, that age gap and the actual age of the guy is pretty off.

And she's ruined a friendship for a quick shag.

18 yos are most definitely not 'men'. I know very few at that age that really look like men!

He's an adult, she's an adult.
From a moral point of view, shagging your friend's son in what presumably was a casual encounter is pretty reprehensible. From a legal point of view it's none of anybody's business.

@PurpleDaisies
“You’re making a lot of assumptions about her wanting him since he was a child.”

It’s really more of a presumption than an assumption because no normal person can watch a child grow up and then think, yeah I’ll have a piece of that.

FWIW I have always gone out with older me, I would have thought nothing of going out with a 40 yo when I was 18. It is only now am getting on for 40 I realise how grim it is.

It does take two, but I would lose respect for them

It is my business when she calls me to come over because she is upset only to find out its because the mum found out about what she had done. Shes also blaming the boy for coming on to her.

He’s above the age of consent and a legal adult, but I would feel a bit icky about it too

I see

The other thing to add is shes been sleeping around with alot younger men early 20’s so now shes gone for a even younger boy it makes me feel eww somethings not right.

How did the mum find out?

Utterly grim

Can't believe anyone thinks this is ok

I might be reading too much into this (and not excusing her) but does she have a history of bad relationships.

I have known 2 women that started sleeping with much younger men. One had an abusive marriage (both abusive to eachother) then when that ended she went from one younger man to the other. Eventually marrying one. That didnt turn out well either. Awful marriage.

The other had a history of dating dick head her own age, started sleeping with younger men because she knew it woildnr go anywhere in the long run.

If this, situation of her sleeping with much younger men and men it's not appropriate to have sex with (it's really not ok to have sex with your friends 18 year old son), something must have happened to have prompted them.

I teach students of this age - some lads are really mature, but a lot are just boys. While it’s obviously legal, the age gap seems really significant. If both parties were ten years older, it would seem far less.

Grim is the word.

Whoever said 18 isn’t a boy, he’s a grown man. Just. Be. Quiet.

I have a son about to turn 18. He’s nothing like a grown man. He’s a daft lad. I’d be completely minged out if someone 20 years his senior who had known him as a tot, was shagging him. Good fucking grief!

Yes she did have a bad marriage older guy, but shes since been sleeping around every weekend with much younger guys and gets upset when they don’t want anything more or just use her for sex. She’s lonely and depressed I feel and seeking the wrong attention from the wrong people. But this is just too close to home and makes me feel uneasy about my own son.

Legally it’s fine, ‘morally it’s questionable, practically 18 year olds were shit in bed when I was 18 why are grown women going back there??

My ndn ds is 18, I'm 38, he's a boy fgs! I can't understand how people my age can see someone that age in a sexual way. To me it's very wrong, legal or not.

Whoever said 18 isn’t a boy, he’s a grown man. Just. Be. Quiet.

More than a little bit patronising.

Yeah she sounds like she is having some sort of emotional problems.

But to me that makes it worse. She has dragged her friends son into her coping mechanisms.

She obviously needs some support dealing with her issues. But to involve an 18 year old who is the son of a friend, thats just shit.

Sounds to me like her self esteem is at rock bottom and she'll take any scrap of attention she is given. Can you find it in yourself to be a proper friend and try and help her through this? Something has obviously damaged her and she needs help.

FWIW, I don't doubt for one minute that the man (for that is what he is in the eyes of the law) came on to her, 18 year old males are not exactly known for their low libidos, but a friends son is morally a 'no go' area. I really don't think there's a sinister background to this, it's just a case of he offered, she accepted. I feel sure your own son is safe.

Yep I would be keeping her away from my own kids. Imagine if this was the other way around! An 18 year old who you have known since their childhood, who had trusted you as an adult... Ew.

So no 37 year old men ever have sex with 18 year old girls? What’s the big deal - both are condemning adults, just because one of them is your friends son does not change that. Your friend obviously has self esteem issues, but she’s done nothing wrong here.