To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

I doubt she groomed him. I imagine it was drug or drink fueled

No-one would jump to that so quick if it was a male friend and an 18yo DD. Teenagers are vulnerable to predatory adults. Even if they are boys

Dying at 18 year old boys being men, give over! I work in a college with boys this age, they are not remotely manly. They look like older children which is what they are. The magic clock doesn't turn midnight from 17 to 18 and they turn into a man 😂 the government just decided one day 18 should be the age a human is considered an adult. Would not touch an 18 year old with a barge pole as a 32 year old as I'm only attracted to adults.

That’s gross and inappropriate, just because he’s reached the magical “adult” age of 18

Well we have to draw this line somewhere?

Perhaps put it back up to 21 then?.

Or have a maturiy test?, sounds like fun!, set the man to be some life tasks in front of a "judgement" panel and if he's up to scratch he gets his Man cert and can then do all manner of "manly" things:)

Whilst on the matter haveing a few younger DD's now in their early 20's the number of times i hear "I wish he / she would bloody just grow the fuck up!"

Also heard from theri friends whilst here it does seem this coment is directed a lot at males around their later teens early 20's FWIW.

As well as a few females too.

As you were then..

There is no law against a 37 year old having consensual sex with an 18 year old. They are both adults.
If you find it repulsive that's your issue. It's no one's business, not even his parents.

Limensoda
That's true and I think most people would put a hookup between an 18/37 year old who've recently met in the "uncomfortable and a bit ick but it's a free world and it's not illegal" box.

The knowing someone from childhood, being close to the family through their teens and then sleeping with them on turning 18 is weird and I can see why some posters have used the word repulsive.

I watch my students grow up from 11-18/19. Even at 18/19, they are to me still very much slightly older versions of the people I knew as kids aged 11. I put a family friend in a similar category.

My best friend is 27. My ds is 8. Damn right I will have an opinion of she shags him in 10 years

You can have an opinion. Wouldn't make any difference. It would be their choice.
You have no right to choose who your 18 year old has sex with whether you like it or not.

Is that not what happening. Having opinions?

Or did you believe this thread or his mothers opinion would automatically enforce a law?

I don’t think any number is a magic number and no one here is arguing for her being locked up or anything so that’s a moot point. People are allowed to make their own moral judgements though.

Some countries have even lower consent laws than here. I don’t think it’s a good idea to prosecute two 15 years old getting on but sensibly some have an age gap clause so that it’s not legal for a 40 year old man to sleep with a 15 year old.

To the question in hand I think it’s pervy. Not illegal. It’s even worse if it’s her friends kid. No advocation of prosecuting her. Am entitled to say you want nothing to do with them though

It's no wonder groomers get away with it a lot of the time with some of the attitudes on here.

This is an 18yo who has vulnerabilities with drug issues and an adult who has known him and been in his life since he was a child.

It would be utterly remiss of his mother not to have an issue with someone her age having sex with her son (who looks several years younger than his age) and to not bother asking any questions about how it happened and when it started to make sure it's just icky and weird rather than anything more.

And the difference between this thread and the one where the OP's 19yo DSD was having an affair with her cousin's older husband who'd known her since she was 9 is quite stark in terms of how the older party was seen

I don’t know why some on here are reciting the law and saying it’s legal so nothing to do with you. People can choose their own friendships though. You can actually be really nasty and choose not to be a friend with someone for anything. Like being a racist. I think you’d be doing the person a favour anyway. Why would they want a be in such a friendship. Forcing it wouldn’t help.

Cheating isn’t illegal. Cheating with loads of prostitutes and then sleeping with your spouse after isn’t illegal. Just being a general cunt isn’t itself illegal. I don’t have to be friends with these people though and am not calling for any police involvement either

I've just come across this thread and just wanted to say that when I was 17 to 19 , a 36 year old man groomed me then had sex with me when I was drunk which then led to a 2 year long onslaught of emotional and sexual abuse and he blackmailed me if I was to try leave him. I have struggled to report it because of the age of consent being 16 I have believed for all these years that It was my doing and i should have done more to stop it. At the time i believed i had no way out and accepted that it was my life to be with this man because I had been abandoned by everyone else when it all came out. My mind at the time I know wasnt mature enough to contemplate that it was abuse. This is why I dont agree with these age gap relationships if they begin when the younger one is around 18 years old. The law I believe should be changed to reflect that at that age they are easily groomed an manipulated. To this day I still feel like it was my fault to an extent and I'm terrified of reporting it incase my views are twisted as I an terrible at explaining myself.

One word...

It's absolutely awful. What sort of asshole shags her neighbour's 18yo and thinks it's OK? Particularly as she's known him since he was small - just grim. She's awful. Why on earth are you friends with her?

They might be legally (only just) adults at 18 but in reality they are boys. Frequently still in school, for gods sake.

I agree with those posters who've opined that it is reductive to refrain from examining this issue simply because the two individuals are legally 'adults'. This is an ethical issue as well as a legal one. Of course, there are legal acts that are also unethical, e.g. cheating.

'Childhood' is a social construction; and the age one becomes an adult is currently quite arbitrary. More recent scientific data suggests that brain 'maturity' might happen significantly later than 18 - more likely mid twenties, and I think many parents would agree with this later marker.

I, personally, am repulsed by the thought of having sex with an 18 year old. They certainly feel like children/comparatively vulnerable to me.

That's disgusting. What's wrong with her?

It's no wonder groomers get away with it a lot of the time with some of the attitudes on here

Agreed. And how different it would be if it were some of the posters on here... their 18yo.

@Dumbledorker
So sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing what must be very painful memories.