To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

That’s gross and inappropriate, just because he’s reached the magical “adult” age of 18 doesn’t make it ok. It’s not equal and he is not an adult compared to her. Will she be aiming for a 17 year old next time? There’s something wrong with a 37 year old who would do this.

Imagine this

'Hi, my dd is 18. Me and dh are good friends with my Male neighbour, who is 37. We have been good friends for years. He watched my child grow up. He had a ad marriage and since then he has been sleeping with a seris of women in their 20s. I have just found out he had sex with my daughter. He is blaming her saying she came on to him And he couldnt resist. I am so upset. He was round here all the time when she was child, we were all so close. I know she is a consenting adult. But am I unreasonable to be really upset?'

There would be people saying they bet he has wanted to have sex with her for years and all sorts.

On mn men who only date and sleep with women in their 20s are called all sorts. Including pathetic (they cant handle a woman their own age with a but more confidence and world experience), ridiculous, creepy etc.

Women who only sleep with men in their 20s are celebrated by quite a few mners. Even to the point they start saying sex with men in their 40s is shit because they struggle with erections and stamina and that if everyone else tried it, they would see why it's so amazing. Younger men are, apparantly, more likely to try out new things.

Can you imagine a man saying sex with women in their 40s was shit because they did get wet enough and less willing to try out all their fetishes?

But for some reason its empowering when it's a woman. It's very very odd.

Grim

The fact she knew him from when she was little makes her sound like a predator. I’d be keeping my distance and warning friends with teenage sons.

This reminds me of a story of DH's where he laughingly recounts having sex with a 37yo friend of his when he was 18yo he still cracks up when recalling his mother's fury at the whole thing being 'sleazy'. He recalls it as very nice, thank you.... so, IDK. Your friend shouldn't have lied though.

I work with young people that age and am a similar age to your friend. I find it really disturbing she would be attracted to an 18 year old. They aren’t really men. It is even more gross if she has known him as a child’s I would suspect the mum and your friends friendship is over

^This. I find it creepy. Imagine if the gender was reversed and this was a young girl sleeping with her dads mate. Both wrong

All those saying 'no big deal' and 'they're consenting adults, so what...'
I doubt very much you would be saying the same if it were your son, just turned 18, and your friend same age as you who had been there as he was growing up... next minute you hear she's been shagging him. I don't think you'd be saying 'no big deal' then...

I think it is beyond the pale. I know all my friends' sons well from when they were born, and I could not begin to imagine fancying them and sleeping with them.

YANBU to be annoyed and I'd think the same were it two men, two women or if the man was 37.

It's wrong for all the reasons listed so in one way yanbu and it would be equally as bad if the female was 18. But I also find it a bit ick to describe him as a 'boy' for additional effect. He may be very young to a woman of 37, it may be wrong/ exploitative he may look young but he is not a boy he is a man, albeit it a very young/ possibly immature one.

It would make me uncomfortable but technically nothing 'wrong' about it. They are both adults. However I see a young man and an older woman next door and sounds like some kind of teenage fantasy that has backfired.
Hope you can past it, and keep your friendship. We all have different morals and beliefs, but doesn't necessarily make someone with different ideas and opinions a bad persons. I can understand how you feel, as well as his parents, but he is 18 so unless he says he was pressured or said no, it's perfectly legal although rather cringy

I am amazed that anyone thinks this is ok, it's not necessarily about the age gap (although I do think that's grim) it's the fact that this is her friend's teenage son who she has seen grow up. Sorry that's just weird and it sounds like she needs help. I think you need to be honest with her.

I have an 18 year old daughter, in reverse I would be angry. It's taking advantage

Imagine if the gender was reversed and this was a young girl sleeping with her dads mate. Both wrong

There was a thread recently where the OP’s DD was having an affair with her cousin’s husband and the tone changed from outrage to concern when it emerged that she was just 19 and he was late 30s and had known her since she was 9.

That’s exactly the same here - the age gap is questionable, the length of time they’ve known each other makes it very wrong.

I find it strange enough my 18 year old has a 24 year old girlfriend. If one of my friends who’d watched him grow up went there I’d be beyond furious.

This reminds me of my lovely auntie taking my cousin a coffee one morning after he'd been out. Turned out he had company. She opened the door, rolled over and looked at his companion.
'Fucking hell mum she's older than you!!'

She was very sweet my aunt and went to make the visitor a tea for when she woke up.
Anyway, regarding the op, who cares, they had sex and it's not really anyone's business 🤷🏻‍♀️

If some 37yo slept with one of my 18yo DC I'd be devastated! Completely taking advantage.

'Just because someone is an adult and consenting doesn't make it ok'

Erm...yes it does that's the definition of ok lol

Well he is an adult male so not really a boy. He's a man. Not sure why you are fussed tbh.

Would you say the same if it was a 37 year old male sleeping with his friend/neighbour’s 18 year old daughter?

Well, she's really pissed in her own patch, hasn't she? I would loathe the self-centred, stupid, nasty woman if I were her "friend" and neighbour and she did that. She's known the boy since he was little - it was totally inappropriate behaviour. Also the excuse that he came onto her - the typical excuse of paedophiles, frankly (ie no excuse). Normal people would stop and think before having sex with someone half their age that they had known since that person was a little child, who they lived next door to and whose parent was a "friend" of theirs.

She should know better.

I love the fact that we send young men to die in other countries is being used as a justification for this predatory woman's behaviour.

MN at its finest.

Anyway, regarding the op, who cares, they had sex and it's not really anyone's business 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think if you shag your sons friend, it is your friends business.

Anyway, regarding the op, who cares, they had sex and it's not really anyone's business

So if your friend who'd known your son all his life, was like a second mother to him, watched him grow up, and she then had sex with him when he was just 18... you'd be OK with that then? And say 'good on you' and give her a high five?

Sometimes there are boundaries that really should not be crossed. If it were my friend, I would have nothing to do with her from that moment on.

Sounds to me like she's hurtling towards 40 and is having a massive identity crisis/early mid life crisis.

Or she likes to be the one in control and an 18 year old hasn't got the life experience to be confident...............

Either way, it's pretty grim like PPs have said.

she sounds like one of those desperate women who perv over young boys and love having the title of cougar. off course it's wrong especially as it's her friends son.

Feels like there's been an element of grooming. YANBU.