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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

243 replies

Dickorydockwhatthe · 21/09/2019 23:01

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

OP posts:
zeezee3 · 21/09/2019 23:03

Reverse???

malificent7 · 21/09/2019 23:03

Well he is an adult male so not really a boy. He's a man. Not sure why you are fussed tbh.

Wildorchidz · 21/09/2019 23:03

Just yuck

malificent7 · 21/09/2019 23:04

The friends sin bit is more the issue here.

malificent7 · 21/09/2019 23:04

Son ...

DoctorAllcome · 21/09/2019 23:05

Ugh. I know technically it is legal but to me it is ethically really bad.
I don’t think I could continue a friendship with any 37yr old that thinks sleeping with 18yr olds is ok (man or woman).

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 23:05

Hmm I suppose they are both adults.

But honestly. I have a 17 year old. I would believe they had been taken advantage of if someone of 37 has sex with them in a year. Especially if that person was my friend.

I am not a massive fan of age gap relationships, anyway. Mainly because all the ones I have known have been massively dysfunctional and had very poor impacts on the younger one. So the obviously skews my views on it.

If thos was my friend I would be disgusted. If I was friends with the mother and was directly asked I wouldn't lie. I wouslnt go out of my way to tell her. But I wouldn't lie.

Heartshapedbox11 · 21/09/2019 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Skinnyunderneath · 21/09/2019 23:06

18 isn't a man, he's still a boy, I've 2 of a similar age
Not good

Shockers · 21/09/2019 23:06

Ugh- how long has she known him?

MysweetAudrina · 21/09/2019 23:06

2 adults had sex. Nothing to see here. Next.......

CTRL · 21/09/2019 23:06

That would make me feel uncomfortable.

I remember when I was younger I used to date older men but now I have children I don’t know; something just feels wrong about it now.

Each to their own though

DoctorAllcome · 21/09/2019 23:07

It’s worse that the 18yr old is a son of a friend. That means she knew him as a child. Watched him grow up. Then pounced the second he wasn’t jail bait. It’s the actions of a sexual predator.

Original poster
Dickorydockwhatthe · 21/09/2019 23:07

To be honest the friend thing has annoyed me the most as shes broke a code shes known him since he was little and his mum is devastated. He's only just turned 18 and looks about 15 so it has made me feel a bit sick tbh and yes even if it is man and a girl id feel the same especially if they were friends with the parents.

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 21/09/2019 23:08

If you were the mother of the boy I’d say you had a right to be more than just ‘annoyed’. But really, it isn’t your business. If you want to make a moral judgement, that’s up to you.

EleanorReally · 21/09/2019 23:09

He is her friends neighbour, I doubt she watched him as a child and then pounced

YDraig · 21/09/2019 23:10

Disgusting. And I say that as someone barely older than the son.
She clearly knew she’d done wrong as she denied it!
It would be less problematic if he was a ransomer from tinder but the fact he knew her via his mum.... ew, just no! Yanbu.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2019 23:10

It’s worse that the 18yr old is a son of a friend. That means she knew him as a child. Watched him grow up. Then pounced the second he wasn’t jail bait. It’s the actions of a sexual predator.

Or two consenting adults had consensual sex. You’re making a lot of assumptions about her wanting him since he was a child. And the age of consent is 16 not 18.

YDraig · 21/09/2019 23:10

Randomer* sorry for typos typing one handed

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/09/2019 23:11

Knowing him since he was a little kid is even worse.

Original poster
Dickorydockwhatthe · 21/09/2019 23:11

It also me in comfortable as I have a 15 year
old son. Its just not right as boy looks like a boy

OP posts:
DoctorAllcome · 21/09/2019 23:11

@EleanorReally

Nope, sorry you are wrong. She did watch him grow up & then pounced.
The OP said
“shes known him since he was little ”

MissMarks · 21/09/2019 23:12

I work with young people that age and am a similar age to your friend. I find it really disturbing she would be attracted to an 18 year old. They aren’t really men. It is even more gross if she has known him as a child’s I would suspect the mum and your friends friendship is over

Glitterfisher · 21/09/2019 23:12

If it was an 18 yo female and 37 yo man then MN would be going crazy as would say he was taking advantage but it appears there are massive double standards here.

IMO it is weird but not illegal of course. I can't imagine fancying an 18 yo, I am a similar age to to woman, in fact when I was 18 I didn't fancy 18 yo boys! I think the worse thing is that it is her friends son. That's grim.

EleanorReally · 21/09/2019 23:12

It's not as if they are in a relationship? It's just consensual sex and not your business