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Original poster

To be annoyed with friend who slept with an 18 year old boy...

243 replies

Dickorydockwhatthe · 21/09/2019 23:01

Who also happens to be her friends/neighbours son. She is 37 too so old enough to know better. The worse thing is she lied about it and denied it to her neighbour who was also meant to be a friend. It makes me feel sick to be honest and the fact that it is her friends/neighbours son just makes it worse. She says she feels shit but probably because she got found out.

OP posts:
Rhinosaurus · 21/09/2019 23:45

Condemning? Lol consenting!!!

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 21/09/2019 23:45

Yeah my son’s 17 (easily passes for 18 as well), I’d feel pretty icky about him sleeping with someone my age. I know the whole “milf” thing was a bit of a joke in the 90’s, but it just doesn’t fly anymore. And a friend’s son just really feels like she crossed a line.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/09/2019 23:47

Yuck. Not ok.

Deadringer · 21/09/2019 23:47

Grim.

lyralalala · 21/09/2019 23:48

The fact she's known him since he was little makes this just creepy imo.

A ONS on a night out with an 18-year-old is one thing (I wouldn't, but each to their own), but sleeping with an 18 year old that you've known since they were a child is just wrong to me. Much like the recent thread with the OP's DSD who'd been involved with her cousin's much older husband - the dynamic of them recently having an adult-child relationship makes a sexual relationship simply wrong. Regardless of who is the male and who is the female.

Rhinosaurus · 21/09/2019 23:49

Why is it yuk? Why isn’t it ok? Yes there is an age difference but both are adults. Men of 30 / 40s go out with late teens / 20s all the time - is that also yuk?!

LimitIsUp · 21/09/2019 23:49

Genuine question - those posters who think 18 years old is a 'man' (yes I appreciate that legally it is, but in reality 18 year olds are generally immature boys) - who old are your dc?

Craftycorvid · 21/09/2019 23:49

Well, OK, it’s awkward. There is a potential power imbalance in that your friend is presumably the more worldly of the two. The young man may believe he is in a relationship or he may have just been curious. I should think it will be very uncomfortable for her with his mum now. But, hey, no one died. They are adults.

lyralalala · 21/09/2019 23:51

Men of 30 / 40s go out with late teens / 20s all the time - is that also yuk?!

If they've known them since they were little then it's absolutely yuk

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 21/09/2019 23:52

It's not for you to judge her actions - (or actually for any of us to judge her). Presumably they are both consenting adults. If she is your friend and you are her friend then you should be that good friend regardless of your own personal viewpoint or feelings about a grown woman sleeping with an 18 year old.

BrokenLogs · 21/09/2019 23:52

Rhinosaurus yes it is.

But you're deliberately missing the fact she's known him since he was little and is friends with his mum.

LimitIsUp · 21/09/2019 23:53

Even if they haven't known them since little it's still yuck. I would feel murderous toward any older man who tried it in on with my 17 year old dd

GibbonLover · 21/09/2019 23:55

Limit No DC here but I would never refer to an 18 year old female as a 'girl', I would always call her a 'woman' as that is the word for an adult female. That leads me to refer to an adult male as a 'man'.

RobertSmithdoesmyhair · 21/09/2019 23:56

Just because someone is 18 and legally consenting doesn't make it ok! I have a 17 year old and he is very much still a child.. he is 18 in 2 weeks time..he won't magically change and become adult over night. They need time to grow into adulthood, and to do this with other teens, not people a generation older than them!

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 23:57

Men of 30 / 40s go out with late teens / 20s all the time - is that also yuk?!

Yes, it is.

lborgia · 21/09/2019 23:57

I had a ONS with an 18 year old when I was 22. At the time it was great, enthusiastic, fun, but in the cold light of day the age/ maturity difference was stark even with only 4 years between us. Left me very queasy...

Yes, they can both have sex, but context is EVERYTHING.

Two 30 year olds... have sex, of course. Oh. They're married to other people? Then no.

One is 18 and the other is 37? Bit of a stretch, but ok. Friend's child, and known them since they were small?

Really? That can be defended?

Theimpossiblegirl · 22/09/2019 00:00

DD's boyfriend is 19. I'm 40.
To me, he is very much just a boy, a lovely boy, but so young.

LimitIsUp · 22/09/2019 00:01

18 is legally a man / woman but those of us with teenagers that age tend to appreciate that in reality they are not fully mature, inclined to make poorly thought out impulsive decisions, lacking in life experience and thus potentially more vulnerable. At the same time they tend to regard themselves as worldly, savvy and possibly better informed than older adults. It's an explosive mix

LimitIsUp · 22/09/2019 00:03

And okay, I will come out and say it. Those of us with older teenagers are better placed to make these assessments than those who don't have teenagers

Theimpossiblegirl · 22/09/2019 00:04

Why is it yuk? Why isn’t it ok? Yes there is an age difference but both are adults. Men of 30 / 40s go out with late teens / 20s all the time - is that also yuk?

Yes it is yuk.

JasonPollack · 22/09/2019 00:06

It's fucking yuk. It's also yuk when men do it.

18 year olds look like 18 year olds. They don't have adult faces they have baby children faces. Your friend is a sick fuck.

GibbonLover · 22/09/2019 00:07

Limit Do you know, for a minute there, I thought you were saying that my opinion means jack shit because I'm not a parent! Then I thought again and remembered that nobody could possibly be so rude, could they?

Rachelover60 · 22/09/2019 00:08

I understand how you feel, it is very 'icky'. However no law has been broken and I presume her relationship with neighbour's son is now over.

As you are good friends with her, you can tell her how wrong it is and suggest she looks for companionship/sex with someone in her own age group. She is liable to take it on board from a friend who cares about her. She is fortunate to have you.

I hope she wises up after having so many unsuitable brief 'relationships' and that she eventually finds a decent chap.

Mothership4two · 22/09/2019 00:09

I don't doubt for one minute that the man (for that is what he is in the eyes of the law) came on to her, 18 year old males are not exactly known for their low libidos

Not the 18 yo I know, they would be far too scared to come on to anyone that age! I would presume that she came on to him

PickAChew · 22/09/2019 00:10

Eww.

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