To expect waiting staff to have some common sense?

[rabbitheadlights]

In a well established mid range restaurant for lunch yesterday OH and I ordered both had steak and requested medium rare. I should add OH is a chef both steaks came out well done, not a problem send them back these things happen. Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

OH laughed and offered to cook them himself, but later spoke to the manager and said something along the lines of, "I really think your FOH team should know not to repeat what the chef says to customers like that, a simple steaks will be redone would have sufficed, as it is your staff have effectively come to my table and called me a liar, which by the way I'm not and if chef is adamant both steaks were right can I suggest some training?

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

@cgesterdraws1 love it

I love a steak, cooked by someone else bonus! This is my point

I don't think your husband did anything wrong. There was an implication that he didn't understand what he was asking for, so I think it perfectly reasonable to show that he does understand, from a professional pov. FWIW, u send food back in restaurants if it's not right. I once ordered a medium steak and it turned up swimming in blood and was barely seared. I sent it back and the replacement was just as poorly cooked. So at that point I did speak to the manager who agreed the chef had got it dramatically wrong. By this time, the rest of the table had finished their meal so I declined the offer to recoil the steak and went and got fish and chips from our local chippy instead.
Imo, it doesn't matter whether the restaurant is 'high end'medium range or whatever - if their menu offers food cooked to a specific standard, that's what I expect to get. If not, it goes back.

My oh world 80-90 hrs a week we go out to lunch maybe twice a year whY shou isn't it be cooked properly?

World/works brandy talking

Shouldn't ?

Yes, the waiter should have had the sense not to repeat the chef's comment and get drawn into their irritation with your complaint

Your OH over-reacted by claiming they were being 'called a liar' and took it too far by speaking to the manager, particularly as the replacement steaks were done properly so I agree with your friend YWBU

If your husband said the things you say he did in your OP, then he’s a massive, pompous twat. It’s not about sending them back, it’s about the words you report he used.
I bet you ate spit in your meal tonight.

I agree with you OP and if I was having a treat of steak then I would expect it to be medium rare if I asked for it! This is very basic...

I've been in a similar scenario where I had ordered a stew and it had very little content, so I ordered some mashed potato once it appeared to go with it. The waiter came back and told me that the stew contained potatoes and it didn't require an additional side of potatoes with it. It was obviously an excuse because they were very busy. So I insisted on the mashed potato and it came but by that time my stew was cold. It was a fairly dire experience and the restaurant, despite being expensive, has mixed reviews. I've never gone back.

I also remember eating at a husband and wife type small restaurant once, where the genius chef wife did all the cooking and the husband waitered. The husband hung around and watched us eating while giving us tips on how to eat, such as eating the skin off the salmon and a detailed explanation of why this was better. It was really off putting and I feel sick if I eat skin so I just ignored him. I later learned the place had closed because they got divorced.

Well done steak for medium rare and then arguing about it is not acceptable. No way to run a restaurant.

Something tells me 90% of you are hiding behind your inboxes trying/wanting/needing to.be someone else I am me, I am honest in every walk of life I don't sit on the fence ever, I mean what I say and I say what I mean, I was embarrassed to complain but the suggestion of ignorance made me angry and as a professional all in the field I can understand my o h's frustration and trust me I love a reason to !Ian at him

Moan at him *

Quite reasonable to send back overdone steaks and to mention to manager about FOH rudeness. No problem to also mention you are a chef as it is relevant - quite bizarre reaction from some to dh mentioning he is a chef on here. I don't work in the service industry but realise that managers want to know if members of their staff are rude or underperforming. I would not react well to a snotty comment from a waiter especially after the restaurant had got my order wrong.

Eating out is generally a bit of a treat (definitely in this house) so you expect good food and decent service - they are not doing you a favour. If you don't complain then nothing will change.

OP if you're so sure you and your OH were right what's the point of asking? Your friend did not agree with speaking to the manager and the vast majority of posters here don't either but if you do that's alrighty then isn't it?

I bet you ate spit in your meal tonight.

Even though they complained AFTER the meal? 🙄

rabbitheadlights

Because it is a reasonable question.

Even if (as) their chef was wrong, how would he know how you like your steak unless you describe it?

There are a lot of chefs out there that don't know how to cook a steak.

StillCoughingandLaughing

Even though they complained AFTER the meal?

The cooking it himself comment was after the steak was sent back but before the complaint to the manager.

@boneythere are universally accepted standards I asked for medium rare even a reheat ping chef knows what medium rare is

rabbitheadlights

Yes there are accepted standards, but that doesn't mean that every patron, chef or person that claims to be a chef knows what they are.

So to repeat my point
Yes, you were right to return something that wasn't as you wanted it.
Yes, the waiting staff were right to ask how you actually wanted it.

And additionally, yes your DH was being a dick for the shall I cook it myself comment.

Your oh sounds like a self righteous twat and you are not coming across much better

And that's for what he said not for returning the steak

Why get the waiter into trouble? Are you pissed they may get 90% of the tips and your oh only 10% like at your ohs work? Well done op. Hope you both felt good about yourselves later

YANBU I remember eating in a new italian neighbourhood restaurant with dh and a few friends. Service was woeful but food was worse. As they cleared my full plate and didn't ask if everything was alright at any point, I said I was disappointed the Puttanesca had no taste or trace of anchovies or olives. I was told sniffely they would pass it on to the chef. Seconds later, came out and said the ITALIAN chef made it exactly as his mamma did. I never went back. Tasteless food is tasteless food.

Not wrong to send back the steaks if they weren't right, but I would cringe if my DH spoke like such a pompous old windbag and would tell him that.

I agree with you OP. and if the comment about cooking it himself was made just to you then that was perfectly fine. We evidently have good restaurants around here as we order medium rare steaks and very rarely need to send them back. At home we use a cooking thermometer to get them right.

Telling a manager that they have a member of staff who was rude is not done to get them into trouble, you are not snitching, it's not school, you are letting them know so that they can address the issue. I doubt he was sacked over this (unless he had form), just spoken to.

Your DH sounds a bit wanky TBH

But then I never order steak in Middle of road restaurants