To expect waiting staff to have some common sense?

[rabbitheadlights]

In a well established mid range restaurant for lunch yesterday OH and I ordered both had steak and requested medium rare. I should add OH is a chef both steaks came out well done, not a problem send them back these things happen. Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

OH laughed and offered to cook them himself, but later spoke to the manager and said something along the lines of, "I really think your FOH team should know not to repeat what the chef says to customers like that, a simple steaks will be redone would have sufficed, as it is your staff have effectively come to my table and called me a liar, which by the way I'm not and if chef is adamant both steaks were right can I suggest some training?

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

Cook*

Every time **

@Cheeserton I'm thankful for your wisdom in a sea of what I can only describe as weirdness after a couple of brandy's

Nope. Never a waitress but seen enough people in life who think they can be rude to and about shop staff and waiting staff.

As many of us have said, nothing wrong with sending the food back. Lots wrong with the attitude.

@voddiekeepsmesane
If I am paying £25/30 for a good steak cooked to how I asked then I expect that and nothing else. But I am not British born and I say this in the most sensitive way, the British like to whine but HATE to actually feel like they are making a fuss even if they are paying for it. I have lived here for 25 years and still don't get it

I think this is one of the main reasons so many people are being jerky to the OP. Actively complaining to a person of consequence is seen as being extremely rude in the UK instead of it being seen as a way to provide feedback and correct a situation. A lot of Brits would rather whine about something later to others instead of raise their voice. People are getting arsey with the OP because her and her husband violated that (stupid) rule and they had to nerve to have more professional knowledge than the regular joe to boot! Goodness knows lots of Brits love to tear down people with more knowledge than them.

@rabbitheadlights ignore all the people yelling and nitpicking at you about steak. 🙄

jings
I don't get this "people challenge an arsey attitude therefore they must be doffing their cap to anyone and everything and never complaining ever" argument.

Many people will raise complaints. Not everyone does it in a way that is arsey.

I'd almost go as far as to wonder if anyone who adopts the silly "so nobody should ever complain" are actually the people who give the most grief to staff, just like the people who claim "you can't say anything these days it's political correctness gone mad" are probably the people who've been quite offensive and rude.

YANBU that the waiting staff should know not to repeat what the chef says.

Maybe your DH should've cooked you a lovely meal at home

This is such a wanky comment. Should an actor never go to see a play? A writer never read a book?

Would they have offered to comp the meal if we were wrong ? (We refused btw) and also funny how 2nd steaks were perfect i.e medium rare when chef was adamant first ones were too

@thinkingisallowed my question answered thankyou

My comment wasn't about the restaurant you went to, it was about my own experience, that even working in a hellhole like TGI Friday's (student job), I'd get dickheads every day coming in telling me they were chefs and how the food ought to be cooked, my thinking at the time was 'are they really critiquing deep fried chicken strips and burgers?!'. Also the vast majority of people who came out with the chef line were either cooks/microwave experts at Harvester/Nando's/Toby carvery or liars, angling for a discount.
You asked if he was being unreasonable to go to the manager after the problem had been rectified, I and many others feel that it was unnecessary, but you keep arguing. You asked for opinions but only like the ones that agree with yours.

Why is it rude to know how a steak should be cooked? It was rude that the chef then waitress tried to make out that the customer didn't know the difference between a medium rare and well done steak. The comment of being a chef was given only after the accusation of ignorance was aired. I too would probably have said something along the lines of "I know what a medium rare steak looks like"

I see you missed that I agreed you were right to send the food back.

For context my DH has never cooked me a meal at home 😪

@WhyBirdStop no I didn't miss it but I don't understand what he said that was unnecessary?

@LolaSmiles yeah, you really do go far, don’t you? You seem to latch onto a topic or thread and not let go, continually goading an OP or other posters. 🧐

@WhyBirdStop he went to the manager to suggest the waiter shouldn't repeat what chef said not about the steak being wrong .... He sends out steaks wrong himself sometimes it happens

So why are you asking AIBU if you are certain that you weren't?

whybirdstop
Standard AIBU half the time. Ask the question and then argue with everyone who says you've been unreasonable because you're right.

It's wanky, the training comment in particular, you don't have to be a chef to know how you like your steak to be cooked, and your DH clearly thinks the manager ought to value his feedback more due to his job.

It's like going into a gallery and telling them how/where to hang things, because you're a curator/artist. FWIW a very good friend of mine is, and wouldn't always make the same decisions as have been made in exhibitions we go to, and the staff aren't always 100% with their understanding, whilst she might have a conversation with them on the topic, she wouldn't go and find the manager to point out one of their guides was a little off the mark. I give this example because it happened last weekend, and she could've gone in lording it about telling the manager their staff need retraining etc, but instead had a fascinating conversation with the staff member who seemed genuinely engaged and open to an alternative perspective.

I ask for well done. No blood, no red at all. When you think it's cooked, cook it a bit more.
I still get medium rare served to me so I'm surprised the chef got it wrong.
However, your DH letting them know he's 'a chef' is knobbish. No need.

Saying medium rare is meaningless

False. A medium-rare steak is 135° F in the middle.

Even after it had been suggested he didn't know what medium rare is @Elodie2019

I fancy steak now 🥩 🥩 🥩

My favourite cut is ribeye. I only just learned how to cook steak recently after 20 years of ruining it.

Slightly off topic soz

I know I should disappear into the abyss but are you really all so meek? That you wouldn't send a steak back or try to justify your complaint???