To expect waiting staff to have some common sense?

[rabbitheadlights]

In a well established mid range restaurant for lunch yesterday OH and I ordered both had steak and requested medium rare. I should add OH is a chef both steaks came out well done, not a problem send them back these things happen. Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

OH laughed and offered to cook them himself, but later spoke to the manager and said something along the lines of, "I really think your FOH team should know not to repeat what the chef says to customers like that, a simple steaks will be redone would have sufficed, as it is your staff have effectively come to my table and called me a liar, which by the way I'm not and if chef is adamant both steaks were right can I suggest some training?

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

@rabbitheadlights if the bus driver got on a bus and announced he could do better and should he just drive the bus?...would he be considered a twat too...probably!!? I was being sarcastic when I said “out of interest”

@virginpinkmartini I get your point and honestly my OH wasn't being a twat it was all said in a friendly manner, but the steak was nowhere near medium even it was well done!! We were offered discount and refused as the 2nd steaks came out perfect he really just took offence at being called a liar.

In that case jumpyliz the chef does need training

Oh this sounds like tedious drama to me.

The thing that shocks me though is that your OH is allegedly a chef and yet is a bit sarky to staff. Surely he knows what happens to your food if you do that?

Well no op, of course it’s fine to use services that you also have experience in. You just don’t need to spout about it. I’ve accompanied dc to horse riding parties, visited petting farms, walked on numerous rural rights of way, watched possibly thousands of public riding displays and haven’t yet felt the need to needlessly refer to my own involvement and offer unasked for and patronising advice.

he really just took offence at being called a liar

Is he always so dramatic? He wasn't being called a liar, he was basically being told the chef thinks he doesn't know his arse from his elbow

I’m not a chef but people saying they want steaks ‘medium rare’ annoys me. You can have a blue steak, a rare steak, a medium one or well done. Saying medium rare is meaningless - which one of those two is it you want? I think most people who say this actually mean medium but think adding rare sounds more sophisticated.

why go out to a restaurant?

Presumably to eat?

We'll jumpyliz I can assure you I do know my arse from my elbow and the steaks were a million miles away from medium rare, and all these people suggesting they order a steak expecting it to come wrong and just eat it anyway I believe to be utter tripe!!!

So OMG there are only 4 ways to order a steak. I must remember this not

Well, chefs are pretty good at pulling rank IME, and inexperienced waiting staff can and have been reduced to tears by a chef on many occasions. I'm 40 with 20 years experience in hospitality, and I've been on the verge of it sometimes. I've seen chefs that work together argue about the way a steak is cooked in the kitchen, because perception varies. I do think as a chef himself, your husband probably knows this, knows rather than "Please ask the customer exactly how they want their steak as I cooked them the way they asked the first time" it was likely a stream of expletives, and "Go and tell the customer to fuck off" that was actually said. I think the waiter was probably just literally doing as he was told. It probably should have been referred to the manager in the first instance, to deal with tbh. If this scenario happened where I work, then I'd have told you the steaks will be redone and said to our chef to do them medium rare as requested - but maybe more towards rare if the last ones were leaning towards well done. But then I'm a manager, and the chef can shout at me all he likes, because I'm just doing my job, and I won't have rank pulled on me either. Waiting staff don't have that luxury.
I do think your husband was a pompous arse though with the whole I'm a chef, shall I cook them myself and may I suggest retraining. I don't think anyone's called anyone a liar, that's an exaggeration, two professional chefs have disagreed on how a steak was cooked. Bit blown out of proportion really.

Over cooking steak is a constant problem, I've even tried telling them I just want it seared, blue, very rare but it arrives medium. Chain restaurants don't often employ proper chefs I'm guessing

Sorry OP the line about cooking it himself was knobbish. I'd be kind of embarrassed about that If I were with him.

It's one thing to say "excuse me we asked for medium rare and these are closer to well done could be have them changed please" and another for being pompous and a bit of a twit about it.
Your DH was the wrong side of that divide.

Nothing remotely subjective at ordering medium rare and getting well done, and like hell would I not send that back...

Those of you happy to shell out for crap food not cooked how you ordered - more fool you.

YANBU OP, their comment was rubbish and if I knew better as I was a chef I'd probably say so in that particular context too. As if it's not relevant when someone's tried to suggest well done is acceptable when the order is medium rare...

This is why I never order steak in a restaurant.

Having consulted some temperature and colour guides....it turns out I like my steak 'medium'. I tend to acheive 'medium', by asking for 'rare' and being patronised.

I think most people want 'medium', but ask for 'medium rare' so that you actually get a little pink and juicey action.....

@OMG I think you are probably trying to sound more intelligent than you are. Medium rare is definitely different to medium and to rare it is a thing , Rare is too underdone medium is pink but no blood ..... Medium rare is between the two. @Crustytoenail my oh did know this which is why he laughed, the exception was taken when the waiter chose to repeat it

My ex in the industry - he can be a bit of a snob but doesn’t pull rank in other places (but used to gripe to me instead).

I think how a steak is done is open to interpretation much like ‘al dente’ with pasta.

Don’t think waiter really called your dh a liar though. They just were a tad rude in repeating what chef said.

Op, your husband really needs to not take it so personally re feeling like he's being accused of being a liar by a chef he's never even met. Again, it's either a difference of opinion, or the chef could have accidentally overcooked the steaks because they were under pressure and maybe didn't realise. Just because someone made an error one time according to your hubby doesn't mean they need to be retrained. That's just arrogant.

The above is why I always ask for rare - and will, if somebody (obviously ordered to repeat what the chef screams at them) queries if I know what rare means, tell them very politely that I want something that is only slightly beyond the ministrations of a good vet. And will very politely send back the resulting lump of rubber if the Man in the Kitchen still decides he knows what I mean more than I do.

However, it's not the waiting staff's fault. The abuse they get from customers is mirrored in the kitchen by the abuse many chefs dish out - and not only do the latter have the ability to get them sacked on the spot, chefs tend to have the big fuck off knives.

Can't stand people who get arsey with waiting staff or complain about them for doing as they've been ordered to do by the chefs, though. I've waited tables as a second job when an ex was out of work. I've helped pot wash at 2am when chef fucked off to pick up his coke at 9, leaving us to deal with irate customers and the 17 year old has cooked everything. And I've had spiteful customers complain about me with the sole intention of getting a free fucking meal or to teach their husband that looking at a waitress' arse as she walks away (as if the waitress has any control over that) just gets the woman sacked.

It's the chef that's the issue, not the poor sod your DH was complaining about.

As your DH is a chef, I would have thought that he would now better than to make those sort of comments to waiting staff and other chefs.

This has gone way off track ... I know what medium is and I know what medium rare is ... I like mine medium rare. My AIBU was to ask should the waiter have used common sense and not repeated what the chef actually said?!

a good vet would have revived the Spanish one. lol!