To expect waiting staff to have some common sense?

[rabbitheadlights]

In a well established mid range restaurant for lunch yesterday OH and I ordered both had steak and requested medium rare. I should add OH is a chef both steaks came out well done, not a problem send them back these things happen. Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

OH laughed and offered to cook them himself, but later spoke to the manager and said something along the lines of, "I really think your FOH team should know not to repeat what the chef says to customers like that, a simple steaks will be redone would have sufficed, as it is your staff have effectively come to my table and called me a liar, which by the way I'm not and if chef is adamant both steaks were right can I suggest some training?

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

Well I’d be happy to eat out with your husband. The waiter was a twat to say something so rude, even if the chef had said that to him. I don’t believe the customer is always right. But telling them you think they’re stupid (which is how I would receive that comment) is asking for trouble. Feeding it back to the manager is appropriate so he can deal with it.

'As a daughter of a chef' like that suddenly gives someone super authority 🤣

Also, I'm a tad aghast at the sheer waste of sending backtwosteaks, but hey how

I would say that the fault for waste lies with the restaurant, not the OP. Steak is usually expensive and I'd expect it to be cooked as requested. I hate food waste (particularly if it's of animal origin) but I don't think it's right to criticise the OP for it in this instance.

@BertrandRussell that’s not what I was referring to.

Yes the complaint was valid.

But your DH sounds like a bit of an arse as the fact he's a chef has no relevance at all really.

Restaurants should just have a menu card of pictures of steaks cooked (cut in half) showing them from well done to rare and then get people to point to the one that best suits what they have in mind for their steak. Would save a lot of hassle and then everyone could agree how the steak should be. Would save a lot of waste!

Actually it does mean I know what a fucking rare steak looks like. Which plemty of people including those working in kitchens apparently don't. So my knowledge thanks to my parent is clearly superior and has been since childhood.

I assume rededucator is the sort of person who accepts any old shit put on a plate in a restaurant because the chef is just doing their best...!

So basically you and your chef dh went to a restaurant where the chef didn't cook your steak to your liking. You sent it back to the chef.
Waiting staff was sent out to ask how you'd like your steak cooked by the chef because in their opinion it was right.
Your dh laughed about the fact that waiting staff was probably verbally abused by chef before coming back to your table.
Your dh complains about waiting staff to manager despite chef being to blame (probably much like he does at work).
Real prince among men you've got there OP!

Oh cringe at your DH! 😂 eating out with him must be loadsa fun!

I would say that the fault for waste lies with the restaurant, not the OP. Steak is usually expensive and I'd expect it to be cooked as requested.
Absolutely right. Aside from not ordering steak if you don't know what you want or how to order it, I also strongly recommend not offering steak on a menu if you don't know how to cook it.
But your DH sounds like a bit of an arse as the fact he's a chef has no relevance at all really
No relevance unless perhaps you've got someone in a restaurant insulting your intelligence by suggesting you don't know medium rare from well done...

Also don't know why you're back peddling. You said in your OP that your DH laughed and offered to cook them himself. Who's he offering to if he didn't say anything wankerish to the staff?

So basically

Very poor summary.

The got the cooking massively wrong, not just a bit but way off, then sarcastically ask how they'd 'really' like it. Not on.

Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

This is not good FOH staff behaviour. It sounds like both the chef and the waiter need some retraining.

@Cheeserton knowing how steak is cooked isn't something limited to those who cook for a living, hence his job has no relevance.

Another who thinks your dh was being a bit of a pompous twat. The chef via the waiter/waitress didn't "effectively call him a liar" either - nowhere near!

knowing how steak is cooked isn't something limited to those who cook for a living, hence his job has no relevance.

Sure it is when you've got someone in your profession saying you don't know what you're talking about...

Sure other people know how to cook steak or how they should be cooked, but very obviously a chef can be expected to know better than most and I find it very understandable why any chef worth his salt might take exception to sarcastic suggestions of not being able to tell medium rare from well done. It's a fundamental knowledge for any half decent chef, cooking steaks correctly.

Yeh OH sounds like a twat especially in a mid range place.

I don’t think your DH was being unreasonable. Tbh I prefer rare but when eating out I ask restaurants for a blue steak because 9 times out of 10 a rare steak is more medium and medium more well done and well done sometimes chargrilled.

read my posts nothing was said to the waiting staff, my oh suggested to the manager that the waiter might not want to repeat word for word what the chef actually says in future
But what he did regarding the waiting staff was being a bellend.
I don't need to read your posts. I have and like many posters I think your husband's attitude and approach is rude.

Of course this is going to be one of these:
OP: AIBU?
Consensus: yes YABU there are ways to complain and he was rude
OP: No I'm not! Omg I can't believe you all think we should all never mention when our food order is wrong ever again!
Consensus: nobody said that, just don't be a dick about it
OP: he wants a dick... Flounces

Valid complaint. Arsehole arrogance in the "I'll do it myself!" comment. What a twat.

*OP: he WASN'T a dick... Flounces

Awful autocorrect there

Yeh OH sounds like a twat especially in a mid range place.

What does that have to do with anything? Would it be okay if he’d complained in a top-end establishment, but because it was ‘mid-range’ he should have been grateful for what he got?

Your OH is a knob

In my op I said we had no problem with the steak not being cooked as requested ... It happens but the fact that my OH is a chef is entirely relevant when it was suggested we don't know what medium rare is! No back peddling at all OH laughed and said to me shall I cook them myself?

It’s not patronising (that word is being really overused in here lately) or twatty to say something. Restaurants actually would prefer that feedback so they can make adjustments and improve. Better than say me, who wouldn’t say anything and force my food down and say yes that was great and never go back.