To expect waiting staff to have some common sense?

[rabbitheadlights]

In a well established mid range restaurant for lunch yesterday OH and I ordered both had steak and requested medium rare. I should add OH is a chef both steaks came out well done, not a problem send them back these things happen. Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

OH laughed and offered to cook them himself, but later spoke to the manager and said something along the lines of, "I really think your FOH team should know not to repeat what the chef says to customers like that, a simple steaks will be redone would have sufficed, as it is your staff have effectively come to my table and called me a liar, which by the way I'm not and if chef is adamant both steaks were right can I suggest some training?

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

(my dh is also a chef. He doesn't even complain in Pizza Hut and he's Italian)
Surely no self-respecting Italian chef would choose to eat in Pizza Hut?

So the Mumsnet consensus is order your steak how you want it but eat it how your given it and happily pay the bill at the end, when you're lucky to get lunch together out maybe twice a year you shouldn't expect it to be right?! My mind is blown

I dont think your DH was out of line here .I get quite annoyed when served a "well Done " steak ,when I had clearly asked for a medium rare! Its surely a standard dish as well !.

Bottom line, you ordered steaks medium rare and they turned up well done. Only on Mumsnet do we pick apart the scenario to find the bit we can sneer at 🙄. I’ll take your word for it, OP, and it’s understandable your OH would mention his job. YANBU

I think it's so hard to get a steak done perfectly to ones liking, but I will always complain (in a nice way) if any of the foods not right in a restaurant, I work hard for my money and expect good food every time, British people are rubbish at complaining.

So the Mumsnet consensus is order your steak how you want it but eat it how your given it and happily pay the bill at the end, when you're lucky to get lunch together out maybe twice a year you shouldn't expect it to be right?! My mind is blown
No.
The Mumsnet consensus is order your steak how you like and if it is significantly not what you ordered then you can politely send it back without being a bellend to the waiting staff.

@dottiedodah apparently the fault is yours 'medium rare' isn't even a thing we've made it up

Instead of arguing the toss a better move might've been to establish the criteria the restaurant use to establish done-ness and compare them with yours (eg how pink you expected it to be, as your pp).

So the Mumsnet consensus is order your steak how you want it but eat it how your given it and happily pay the bill at the end, when you're lucky to get lunch together out maybe twice a year you shouldn't expect it to be right?! My mind is blown

No I think the mumsnet consensus is that your DH is a knob.

@lolasmiles read my posts nothing was said to the waiting staff, my oh suggested to the manager that the waiter might not want to repeat word for word what the chef actually says in future

@rabbitheadlights YANBU. The waiter was probably too green to understand how to filter himself when speaking to you. Also YANBU about the steaks either. I’ve been having a hard time getting a properly cooked steak in the UK recently. They’re dreadful.

No OP, I think what the majority of people have actually said is that the server was in the wrong like you say, you were right to send it back but the way your husband acted was a bit on the cringy side. You said yourself, he acts like a twat sometimes and felt personally attacked and acted as if he was being called a liar because he learned the chef disagreed with him.

flashingbeacon I am sorry if 'everyone' says that they want their steak medium rare; but I have been around a long time and I can assure you that I happen to like my steaks medium rare.

It is perfectly possible to send something back without being a dick. I have a little mental list of things that you have to be able to do before you can call yourself an adult. Making a complaint in a restaurant without being a dick is one of them.

I think how a steak is done is open to interpretation much like ‘al dente’ with pasta.

Then you're wrong. There are four cooking results to aim for. Rare, medium rare, medium and well done. In French they're bleu, saignant, à point et bien cuit. If you don't know what you're asking for then don't order steak. OP and husband clearly know how to order steak. This is standard in restaurants.

And even if you mistakenly think it's all subjective, medium rare is a million miles from well done.

I don't think the waiter repeated what the chef said 'word for word...' Are you sure your husband works in a kitchen OP 😂

Also @rabbitheadlights MN is full of people pleasers and people who avoid confrontation like the plague. A lot of posters tend to angry about others sticking up for themselves.

My sister is a chef. I don't eat out with her as she complains (and sends food back) ALL the time!

Making a complaint in a restaurant without being a dick is one of them.

You'll find that what you term 'being a dick' in this case only AFTER the restaurant started being a dick to them by sarcastically they can't tell the difference between medium rare and well done. Why is everyone acting like he somehow started this bullshit? He only reacted to their foolishness.

Thank god @cheeserton as I said in my post I had no problem with the temperature being wrong it happens but I do know the difference between them

Saying that your steak isn’t the way you like it isn’t “sticking up for yourself”. Thinking of it like that is probably why so many people are such arses to restaurant staff.

Was only after*

Oh my goodness @virginpinkmartini have you read any of my posts properly ... I said my oh would have said along the lines of the customer is full of shit! But regardless the waiter should know not to portray the tone and should just have said they will be redone

.

This is a pet hate of mine. As the daughter of a chef I know what rare steak looks like. I eat steak out a lot. I would say about 10%of the time I get a proper rare steak. About 40-50% of the time it's closer to medium rare but I normally let that go.

The rest of the time...It's at least medium. So I send it back. My record is sending 3 back each of which were medium at best. I was on the verge of offering to do it myself by that point.

Staff shouldn't have repeated the chef's comment - yanbu.